


Mirrored Souls

by tainted_ashes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Angst, Bonding, Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mental Link, Nonverbal Communication, Other, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Resistance, Slow Build, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Time Skips, Touching, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-17 11:44:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tainted_ashes/pseuds/tainted_ashes
Summary: You look into the mirror but do not see yourself. You see a boy with tousled chestnut hair and eyes brimming like the ocean. You see unblemished tanned skin and a face set with determination. You see him and it opens the corridors of your heart.(Soulmates Canon-Era AU where you see your soulmate in your reflection.)





	1. Mirror, Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to a different writing style out because it's always nice to experiment and extend your writing capacity. :)  
> This is self-indulgent, I have no idea if it's been done in this fandom but I wanted to give it a go after seeing a prompt on tumblr. I'm aware there are a ton of soulmate stories out there but I just wanted to try my hand at it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

 _I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_Oh God, it feels like forever_  
_But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head_

 

* * *

**Levi**

 

The first time you see it happen, you are eighteen.

 

You've grown used to the dingy house you live in, torn away from the freedom of the sky. You've become accustomed to the ways of the underground, stealing and killing to survive. It was unprecedented that Titans had ravaged the world and you and all of whats left of mankind are forced behind walls like cattle. You've never seen the sky before, your lungs are used to breathing in the filth and the stale pollution of the air below. 

 

It happens after you step into the house, noticing Farlan and Isabel moving around the small kitchen to prepare dinner. They've managed to get enough vegetables to make a suitable meal and your stomach growls in longing. It's been a few days since you've eaten anything solid and you can't control the hunger you feel. You say you're going to wash up and help them prepare. You step into the washroom to do just that.

 

Though the house was in shambles, you're thankful there is a functioning washroom. It took work from both you and Farlan's part, but you manage the have running water. It was never warm, but it was better than nothing. You work on the task of washing your hands,  _thoroughly_ and dry them off on one of the clothes on the counter. You move to adjust the collar of your white shirt, pulling your dark vest down and racking your silver orbs to the mirror.

 

It happens when you meet your reflection and you stumble back, letting out a sharp gasp when you hit the wall.

 

"What the fuck?" you say, eyes wide and chest heaving.

 

You look into the mirror but do not see yourself. You see a boy with tousled chestnut hair and eyes brimming like an ocean. You see unblemished tanned skin and a face set with determination. You see him and it opens the corridors of your heart and it courses through you like a warm stream. Something ignites instantly and you feel your body buzzing with an unknown force. It was as if something had awakened inside of you.

 

He mirrors your movements and you feel your head spin. You lift your hand and move it through the air, watching in silent wonder as his image replicates your movements. You cannot fathom what you're seeing at the moment and your heart is racing.

 

"Levi! We heard something crash. Dinner is almost ready," you hear Isabel say. You look at the girl and try to not to let your unsettlement show, but she sees right through you. "What's wrong?"

 

You are still staring at your reflection, the stranger's eyes looking back at you. You point to it and ask, "You don't see that?"

 

She looks at your reflection and arches her brow. "I mean... I see you and Farlan a little bit. Is there something else I should be see-- _Oh_ , oh my God!"

 

You're want to believe you're hallucinating, you really do. Her face lights up with realization.

 

"Farlan!" Isabel shouts, barely able to contain her excitement. You groan and she continues, "Get in here! Now!" 

 

You look miserable when he appears, cleaning his hands off with a dish towel. "What's going on?"

 

"I think Levi can see his soulmate! He looks like he's just seen a ghost."

 

"You know I don't believe in that bullshit," you say, scoffing.

 

"How can you  _not_ believe when I see Farlan in the mirror right now? All this time we thought you just didn't  _have_ one."

 

 _He's a fucking kid_ , you think.  _A child_ , you realize. When you move closer, you see the lanky limbs of his arms and the muscle tone that has yet to appear. You try to tell yourself that there is no way in hell this  _child_ is your soulmate.

 

"I wish I could see them! What do they look like? Describe them!" You bring fingers to your temple, massaging out the tension there as she bombards you with questions.

 

"I..." You start, your eyes traveling back to the mirror. "He's young,  _too_ young."

 

"Right now," Farlan cuts in finally and you sigh. "That might just mean you're not going to meet him for a while. I know you go on about not giving a shit about this sort of thing, but it's just the way of the world. You can't just  _fight_ it, Levi," he says matter of factly.

 

Your steel eyes narrow and you cross your arms, huffing quietly. You've heard the stories from merchants and commoners alike, about being able to see the image of your soulmate through your reflection. You have heard stories of it happening when you're quite young, so when the situation was never presented, you assumed you were destined to be alone. You were more than okay with that.

 

Hallucinating was starting to seem far more believable than this.

* * *

 

You find yourself looking at your own reflection, confusion whirling behind your gaze. It's  _you_ this time. 

 

Isabel had explained a few days prior that there will be days the image of the other won't be in the mirror. You don't understand how this is possible, finding that Titan's roaming and literally devouring their world made more sense than this. She also explains that after you  _meet_ your soulmate, you are able to see your own reflection through their eyes and their own image begins to transcend into one.

 

All that did was confuse you further.

 

You doubt the boy lives in the underground city. Sometimes, you see his image and he's wearing worn but  _clean_ clothes. Aside from yourself, Farlan, and Isabel, anybody that resides down here is covered in dirt and filth. You make it a priority to keep everything around you as clean and pure as possible. You have undeniably high standards. 

 

You take the time to shave when you realize the boy could appear back at any given moment, grazing the skin of your jaw with a blade. You have several drops to make today and needed to prepare your ODM gear. You're careful with the blade as you trace your cheek, hoping to not be startled. Farlan told him it had taken quite a while before he was used to the intrusion and that's exactly what this felt like, an intrusion.

 

You find your mind remembering his face, the softness of his youth and the stunning array behind his emerald eyes. They remind you of Isabel's gaze, but there was a cerulean that lingered behind those orbs. There is something about those eyes that draw you in and you scoff, leaning down to throw water against your face. You remove any excess lather from your face and stare at yourself yet again.

 

You're starting to wonder if you're going mad because you spend days searching for the boy again.


	2. Fragments of Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what an overwhelming response to the first chapter! Over 60 kudos and such lovely comments, thank you so much! Please keep in mind there are POV shifts in this story as well as time skips. I hope I tagged it accordingly.
> 
>  
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr!](https://www.taintedashes.tumblr.com)

* * *

 

 _And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping_  
_The moon tells me a secret - my confidant_  
_As full and bright as I am_  
_This light is not my own and_  
_A million light reflections pass over me_

 

* * *

  **Eren**

You are screaming.

 

Your small hands move toward your throat, desperately clawing for some sort of anchor from the images racing through your mind. You see blood,  _so much blood_. It's caked on the ground and splattered against trees. There is a dampening mist in the air as rain begins to recede, but it only clears the way of the pictures in your head. You see the bodies then, littered with the wet and muddy ground. They are all wearing the same familiar, green cape with the symbol of freedom on their backs. You recognize it instantly. There is a trail of blood that leads to several more soldiers, what had been done to them you do not understand.

 

Your throat hurts, you feel something acidic bubbling from it. You pray and plead that this is a dream.

 

The images shift suddenly and you are met with the lifeless face of a young woman, her eyes ever-staring and empty. The green that lies in those iris's has lost all light and life, looking blankly back at you. You've never seen her before and you can't help but notice there isn't a body attached to her any longer.

 

Had she been eaten? You don't understand and can't comprehend what you're seeing.

 

The scene tilts and you see it then. You had heard the stories of the Titan's, you know even as a child that is the reason you and forced from your freedom and kept from the world behind these hellish walls. But you have  _never_ seen one. It's disgusting and horrifying in its appearance, dark hair and crimson eyes that remind you instantly of the blood that splays on the ground. It's chewing soundly and you see a body inside its mouth and then crudely discarded, spit out like a pumpkin seed. You see the remains of half a body that belonged to a young man; you see the emptiness inside of his eyes.

 

You scream and don't recognize your voice. 

 

But you realize it isn't yours, but _someone else's._

 

_Is this a dream... or is this a memory?_

 

You watch through his eyes as he moves with a speed, unlike anything you had ever seen, his voice hoarse as he screams in agony and rage. It's the voice of absolute  _loss._ You feel it settle deep inside your soul and it  _hurts._ You have never felt pain like this and it's as if his pain and channeling to you.

 

You want to wake up. You  _have_ to wake up.

 

You've heard the strangers voice before, somewhere in a distant link inside of your mind. Your father had explained as simply as he could as to what 'soulmates' were. How you are linked and bound to that one person specifically. You recall the first time you had seen him at the age of seven. You didn't run away, rather you tilted your head and stared with the utmost childlike curiosity. He had ink black hair and narrowed gunmetal eyes that could've pinned you in place. His physique was slender from what you could see but his stance, even inside of the mirror, was  _strong._ Frighteningly so. His face held strong features and you found your heart fluttering.

 

The visions around you are whirling and you hear a distant shout of your name being called. You try to gravitate to it, anything to get away from the gore and rain clouding your mind. 

 

And just as abruptly as you're thrown into the dream, you're cast out. Your eyes flutter open and you see your mother standing above you, a concerned hand on your cheek and a worried look crossing her face.

 

"Eren, sweetheart. I need you to breathe for me slowly, okay? You've been screaming and... and... Grisha, hurry with the water!"

 

Your father is taking strides into your room, holding a glass of water and a wet rag. He holds it out to your mother as your hand flutters near your throat, the inside raw and painful. Tears are streaking down your cheeks and you gasp when your mother places the wet rag against your temple. There is only a single candle lit on the desk inside of your room, letting you realize it is well in the early morning hours.

 

Your father is checking over you for any signs of injuries, searching for any signs of discomfort. He seems relieved when he sees nothing wrong physically.

 

"Son," your father starts. He sits on the bed next to your mother. "Drink this. Tell us what you dreamt about and  _keep_ taking deep breaths, you're hyperventilating."

 

You take a shaking sip of water and sputter, unable to stop the tears from flowing. When you speak, your voice is feeble and small. "I-I," you try, not able to stop your body from shaking. "I s-saw blood,  _so_ much blood and people dying... soldiers! Titans! I saw them! And someone was screaming-- _he_ was--"

 

Your mother gasps and looks to your father, a frightening look crossing her face. Then she turns back to you and kisses your head. "Shh, baby. It was just a dream. Okay? You're safe, we're safe. Do you want to come to the kitchen and help me make some ginger root tea?"

 

You hiccup and nod your head while letting your mother lead you from your bed and into the kitchen. Your father follows silently, that same look of apprehension never wavering.

* * *

 

Carla leans against the wooden basin in the kitchen, staring out the window while saying, "Explain this to me, Grisha."

 

"It could be just as Eren said, a dream."

 

She whirls around, eyes wide. "This is the fourth time within the month he's had these 'dreams'! Since he's seen _him_!"

 

Grisha sighs, adjusting his glasses while sitting at the small table inside the kitchen. He regards Carla with weary eyes. 

 

"Is it possible?"

 

"Is what possible?" he replies.

 

"For Eren to see his soulmates memories... is it at all possible?" Carla's voice quivers.

 

Grisha drums his fingers on the table, offering his wife an honest answer. "It is... rare."

 

"How rare?" she demands.

 

"Nealy unheard of."

 

Carla laughs in her dismay, burying her face in her hands. "My boy... my poor boy."

 

Grisha stands up then and makes his way to his wife. He wraps his arms around her as she sobs, "Our son is destined to be with a soldier."

 

"We don't know if that's true yet. I'll have to discuss this with some of my colleagues... but because Eren could see his soulmate at such a young age, his case may be different."

 

Carla shakes her head, gathering herself as she admits, "I'm afraid for him. I don't want him to suffer."

 

Grisha pulls back, placing his hand against Carla's cheek. "Have faith in him, he's strong. And we'll be there for him each step of the way."

 

Carla nods, trying to smile despite her tears. "That he is."

* * *

You can hear your parents from your room. You're still awake, gazing up at the ceiling. Your ocean eyes are wide at their words.

 

 _These are his memories_ you tell yourself.  _He's a Scout, fighting against the Titans. He's older than me._

 

You sift through those facts and pull the blankets up to your chin, tucking them beneath you are you start to drift off to sleep. You think of his eyes, face, his screams and can't figure if you're falling asleep and drifting into a dream or memory; either way, you fall right back into that consciousness. You want to reach out somehow, to ease his pain even if it's just a little bit. Your heart hurts for him, a dull ache that resonating deep inside of you.

 

You wonder and dream of when you'll be able to finally see him. 


	3. Mist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm still in awe at the amount of support this story is getting. I'm so happy, thank you all so much!  
> And did you guys see the Season 3 trailer? I think I've rewatched it 100 times already. I seriously can't get over how beautiful the animation is and just fuck, Levi is perfect. And if you haven't read the manga, I won't spoil it for you. Let's just say I'm incredibly fucking sad.

* * *

 

 _Oh, did I crack your shell?_  
_When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well._  
_Like a bottle with the cork stuck,_  
_Your true ingredients trapped inside._

 

* * *

  **Eren**

 

Time stands still for nobody.

 

You're running outside, basking in the warmth of the sunlight that reflects off the windows of your home. Your friends, Armin and Mikasa, are trailing behind you. You can hear your mother humming from the kitchen, busying herself with preparing dinner before your father comes home. The air along the stone streets of Shiganshina is light and breezy, much to your delight. You have two sticks in your hands, twirling them with childlike reflexes as you run.

 

"Eren, slow down!" Armin cries out to you and you laugh. His golden hair flies wildly as he leans down, placing his hands against his knees. "You're... too fast, I can't keep up!"

 

A brush passes Armin and he looks up just in time for you to let out a startled noise, Mikasa aiming and successfully tackling you to the ground. You groan miserably, the sticks in your hands falling into the grass. "Dammit, Mikasa!"

 

"Language," your mother calls moodily from the window as she places a basket along its ledge. 

 

"Sorry," you mumble, sighing and adjusting your posture as you sit up. You pout and Mikasa just stares at you impassively. "Here, your turn."

 

She takes the sticks but doesn't move away. "We should start getting ready for dinner."

 

"Oh, come on! We've still got time!" you whine, jumping to your feet. "One more round, you get the swords this time."

 

"I'd hardly call these  _swords_..." she trails off. She looks down at them and breathes deeply. "We should play something else at least."

 

"What? No way! How else am I supposed to get ready for joining the Scouts? It's not like I can use  _real_ swords."

 

"Eren..." the blonde at your side warns, glancing up nervously at the window. Your ocean eyes turn and see your mother, her caramel eyes downcast while peeling potatoes. She doesn't appear to be listening and you feel a small swelter of relief. "You need to be more careful with what you say, you know how Carla feels about that."

 

You huff, plopping down on the green land. "She's going to have to accept it sooner or later... I mean, how else am I supposed to meet  _him_?"

 

"It could be a mistake," Mikasa sits down next to you, placing the twigs beside her. Her dark hair obscures your vision of her face.

 

"It's  _not_ ," you retort quickly in a hiss. "Just because neither of you can see your soulmates yet doesn't mean it isn't  _real_."

 

"It is a rare case..." Armin muses quietly, tapping his finger against his chin thoughtfully. "I know generally, from what I've read, ages can range from seven to thirteen years, but you say you have  _dreams..._ "

 

You're picking at blades of grass and saying, "I don't know if they're dreams or memories. Every time I try to talk to my mom or dad about it, they brush me off." You chew on your bottom lip. "I've heard his voice, I know I have. I just... I  _wish_ there was some way I could talk to him. To just..."

 

You remember his voice, despite how agonizing it was. You'll never be able to forget how soft yet cutting his tone was. It reminded you of dark silk.

 

"Kids!" Your heads whip in unison, your mother now standing by the front door and wiping her hands on her apron. "Suppers cooking and your father will be home soon. Why don't you three wash up? Armin, you're always welcome to stay."

 

You follow suit of Mikasa and Armin, dusting off your hands against your brown trousers. You miss the repressed look inside of your mother's eyes as you walk past her, heading straight to the washroom to help set the table and eat.  _What do they know?_ you think as you take quick strides into the room and shut the door. You momentarily lean against it and take a deep breath, your eyes scanning over to the mirror hanging overhead. 

 

Your heart always flutters and you can't help the small flush on your cheeks. Was it normal to react this way? You pivot your body to your reflection and smile when you see his. His eyes are more narrowed then usual and you've noticed it's happened more so over the course of the past few weeks. His cheekbones are sharp; defined. His lips are drawn in a tight line, but you can't help notcing the lushness of them. You want to reach out and somehow make him acknowledge your presence.

 

 _What does he think of when he sees me?_ You wonder.

 

You raise a hesitant hand, noting his image copies yours. You see his hands, delicately long fingers twitching in mid-air as you slowly reach out. You trace where his face would be if he were actually there and you imagine his reaction. You're curious, too curious for your own good.

 

"I know I'm just a kid..." you murmur quietly. "But one day, I'll find you. We'll find each other. I'll enlist... but it won't be for a while."

 

Your drop your hand with a soft smile, leaning down to begin the process of washing your hands. You remove the dirt from beneath your fingernails, knowing your mother would scold you otherwise. Warm water doesn't last long in your house so you use it sparingly. Steam rises gently and brings condensation onto the bottom of the mirror, leaving a warmth in its wake.

 

You dry your hands with the rag on the basin, leaning to use it to wipe off the mist from the warm water. You pause, a sheepish grin splitting your lips as a childish impulse goes through you. You take your index finger, tracing lines along the foggy surface. You spend a few seconds concentrating before pulling away with a softer smile.

 

"One day," you say again, rushing out of the washroom at the sound of your mother calling.

* * *

**Levi**

 

Months pass after you're forced to join the Survey Corps, rising quickly through the ranks and establishing yourself within its unit. It may have appeared you lacked discipline, but nobody except for Erwin Smith or Hange Zoe knew the extent of your morale. After the initial plan had failed and you lost the lives of your two trusted friends, you decide to follow Erwin Smith's orders and carry on as a Scout. There hadn't been very many options at the time and you knew it was either that or suffer the consequences of your past crimes. Not wanting to tarnish the memory of Farlan and Isabel, you move forward.

 

Time passes seamlessly and each day that comes and goes leaves you drawn to the mirror. In between training, missions, and expeditions, the time that falls within leaves you gazing at those emerald confines. As the days pass, you notice subtle changes to his appearance. You can see when his hair grows the slightest inch or when his skin is more sun-kissed than before. You want to reach out; to somehow bind the connection that is obviously there. What would have been like, you wonder, if humanity wasn't trapped behind these walls? How long would it take before you'd find your soulmate if you actually had the opportunity to do so?  

 

The shared showers are empty as your boots click against the floor, taking the precious moment of privacy to walk in and begin stripping. You're usually up earlier than most, sleep rarely gracing you. You remove your uniform jacket, placing it on one of the benches on the opposite end of the washroom. You begin the process of unbuckling the clasps around your thighs, your waist and chest. A pain in the ass these uniforms, you can't help but think. It took some getting used to but you move mechanically as you remove your cravat and unbutton your shirt. You roll your bare shoulders, sighing at the tension placed between the blades of them. Once you're fully bare, you walk over to one of the stalls and test the heat of the water.

 

You instantly run your hands through your ink locks, noticing you're due for a trim soon.  _Next_   _time,_ you reason. You work through the motions of rinsing your hair and then your body, using your own soap rather than what's provided. That crap usually left your hair like straw and your skin dry, so you kept a stash of your own wash. The scent was hinted with honey which was pleasant enough. Steam begins fogging the entire room, leaving you feeling somewhat content in a drowsiness that's usually foreign to you. 

 

Once you're satisfied with your cleaning, you turn the faucet and exit the stall. It won't be long before people begin coming in and you'd rather finish in peace. You stalk over and grab a few of the wash rags on the wooden rack and use it to cease the dripping from your scalp. You close your eyes momentarily, bracing yourself as you walk over to the sinks. 

 

Except you're not greeted with the usual supple face of your youthful soulmate. Instead, you find your pale eyes widening, your body going rigid and your mouth slowly falling open.

 

 _I'm losing my fucking mind,_ you think to yourself.  _Because this..._ this  _cannot be possible._

 

In the midst of the steam along the mirrors, you see it clear as day. Spelled out right in front of you with handwriting that could only be expected of a child.

 

E R E N.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing fanart at the end of the chapter was a gift from a great friend and amazing artist/author, [Fluffyboots!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffyboots/pseuds/Fluffyboots) Thank you so so much! I love it! I love you! -squealing-


	4. Tracing Lines

* * *

 

 _It's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to know you.  
_ _Now that your guards down let me show you.  
_ _Superior rights from initial highs have now come back to haunt you.  
_ _Your craving's beg the stranger's hands for a taste that's so familiar_

 

* * *

 **Levi**  

 

Weeks turn into months and months turn into years.

 

You watch him grow; the chubbiness to his cheeks melting away. You notice the strong features beginning to surface his once innocent expression. It's still there, that youthful glow to his tan face. He couldn't have been older than twelve years at this point, you figure.  _Eren,_ you hear your mind wisp his name and it's stuck on the tip of your tongue. Your days are filled with upcoming meetings, briefings, and training. A small group is sent off for a week-long expedition for collecting samples and deducing if there are any villages or towns left in the wake outside of the walls.

 

But you can't help but stand in front of the full-length mirror in your quarters, taking in the smaller stature of the young boy. He's grown several inches but his  _eyes_ ― his eyes flare with so much life you can't bring yourself to turn away. Even as the years have passed, you struggle to accept this phenomenon. But your body, no; your  _soul_ is being tugged at its corners, drawing you to the mirror each moment that you're able and actively  _searching._

 

 _What role is this brat going to play in my life?_ You wonder, your slate eyes narrowing while your hand reaches up to touch the glass. He mimics you; of course, he does. Your mind is still coming to terms with how he was able to reach out with his name, even after all of this time.

 

You speak of this to nobody, unsure if it will conflict with your current affairs. You don't let the momentary flashes of Eren's life distract you though you stow away each vague image. You know it isn't a usual circumstance; listening to many of your fellow comrades and officers rant and boast over their current soulmates. Aside from being able to gaze upon them in a mirror, you have yet to hear anyone bring up seeing their memories. You've taken your free time to search through one of the libraries at headquarters, browsing through as much literature as you possibly can to no avail; you are met with nothing but more raising questions. 

 

You know it isn't a usual circumstance, it's an utter wonder and it makes your breath catch each time.

 

Your thoughts are torn away when you hear several raps at your door, your body pivoting away and walking to it. Your boots sound against the mismatched hardwood as you reach to press the handle. On the other side, you see a lowly officer bringing his fist up for a salute. He's in his respective uniform, deep dirty blonde hair cut to his shoulders. You can see he is intimated by your presence as most are.

 

"Good afternoon, Captain!" he starts, keeping his salute strong. "The Commander sent me to retrieve you for the upcoming briefing, sir!"

 

"Right," you drawl, adjusting the jacket on your shoulders. "I'll be there in a moment, was that all?"

 

"Sir!"

 

"You're dismissed," you say, watching the soldier hastily take his leave after the dismissal. You cock your head back, briefly and against your will, looking back in the mirror sitting in the sitting area of your quarters. You meet his aquamarine eyes for a steady moment before scoffing lightly under your breath, collecting yourself and leaving the room.

* * *

**Eren**

 

You spend your afternoon with Mikasa, collecting firewood for dinner. You cross through grassy fields that are towering with shadows from the hanging trees. You smile softly as the breeze tousles your hair and you let out a content sigh. The weather is warm and welcoming as you bend down to retrieve one of the many twigs on the ground. 

 

"Here," Mikasa walks up to you, placing several logs into the small carrier strapped on your back. You huff, glancing at the same carrier she has.

 

"Use your own," you mutter childishly.

 

She shrugs, looking back and saying, "Mine's full already. Come on, stop pouting."

 

You don't notice you are which causes your lips to pull further. "I'm  _not_ pouting," you say, taking the last piece of wood in her hands and tossing it in. 

 

"If it's too heavy for you, I'll carry it. It isn't a big deal, Eren."

 

"Nope," you say, letting the 'p' pop on your lips. "I've got it. I'm not  _weak_ , Mikasa."

 

She sighs, tucking a long strand of dark hair behind her ear. Her eyes travel over the field while saying, "We should head back, I think we've got enough. Carla said Grisha would be coming home early tonight."

 

The two of you walk with minimal conversation, which is more so on your part. Mikasa has been insistent lately with you wanting to join the Survey Corps; which rattles your bones to no end. It wasn't as if you can really fault her for her lack of understanding. You're curious, you hell-bent on leaving the cage of these walls one day and with each passing day; you become more and more intrigued with the man who met your gaze.

 

You can't put it into words and you've  _tried_ ; a riveting wave coursing through you each time you're met with those charcoal eyes.

 

When you both reach the house, your mother is wiping her hands against her dress while smiling softly. "Welcome back, oh―" she notices the amount of firewood collected and her smile brightens. "Great job, you two. I should send you both out more often. It's much easier than me making trips back and forth."

 

Your face sets proudly at her praise and she notices, chuckling to herself as she reached to pinch your cheek affectionately. 

 

"Hey, stop!" you whine, swatting her hand away. "I'm not a baby, geez."

 

You can see Mikasa rolling her eyes but says nothing, helping you drop the wood into a basket beside the basin in the kitchen. As you both finish your task, you hear the front door open and your father steps through. He's reaching up to remove the hat he is wearing, placing it on the rack near the front door. He's carrying a few papers beneath his arm. "I apologize for being late, I had meant to leave sooner. We ran into a few issues at the clinic today."

 

Your mother walks up and greets your father, kissing his cheek fondly while smiling, "Welcome home, dear."

 

You watch, curious but think nothing of it. Your father walks up and ruffles your hair and your face twists a bit. "I trust you two have kept busy today."

 

"They have," your mother responds for you. "They've been quite helpful today actually, finishing all of their chores. I was even able to run out and get a rabbit for dinner tonight after haggling with the merchant. I figure we deserve a treat once in a while."

 

"Sounds wonderful," your father approves, untucking the papers that are in his arms. He places them on the table and walks to the washroom to get ready for dinner and Mikasa moves to help your mother. You are asked to set the table, soon circling it with wooden plates and utensils as you set them down. While you're setting the table, your eye catches the newspaper your father has placed down and you feel your heart jump into your throat. Your hands still and you nearly drop one of the plates to the floor.

 

Your father usually only brought home newspapers on weekends so it was odd to see him bring the paper home that day. You gravitate to it, your eyes catching a drawn image on the front page. The sketches are professionally done, capturing life-like images onto paper. Your ocean orbs roam and you reach out quickly, snatching it from the table to look closer. You're not reading the words that are scattered nor are you paying attention to your mother calling your name in concern.

 

_It's him._

 

It's an article on the upcoming expedition, which you'd normally be thrilled to see. But that isn't what was causing your heart to thrum inside of your chest. It's the neatly drawn lines of a man with familiar narrowed eyes, delicate brows arching above and an impassive expression. It's the onyx hair that parts down the middle, edging toward the undercut by his neck. It's the strong cheekbones and the sharp angles of his features; the violent beating of your heart beginning to intensify.

 

_It's definitely him, there's no way!_

 

You ignore your name as it's called, taking the paper and rushing toward the washroom. Your father is just exiting it and looks at you with puzzlement as you push past him, slamming the door shut and thrusting the pages against the basin. You look up with desperate eyes and then back down at the sketch, your breath coming out in short gasps. There are more unfamiliar faces in the drawing but you banish the thought of looking at them; instead, you focus solely on his face.

 

You use your finger to trace over the jumble of words, letting your nail drag as you search for a name. Within a few moments, you find what you're looking for.

 

_47th Expedition to be led by Commander Erwin Smith (Right), Section Commander Hange Zoe (Left), and Captain Levi (Middle)._

 

_Captain Levi._

 

_Levi._

 

"Levi," the name slips from your lips in an awed whisper, testing how it sounds. The name is so familiar you feel you could laugh.

 

_My soulmate is Humanity's Strongest..._

 

Captain Levi was so well known for his strength and record in the Survey Corps that you'd have to be utterly recluse to not have heard him. 

 

Your back slips against the door, sliding down slowly as your eyes continue to gaze at the picture. Everything around you feels so incredibly surreal that you're not sure if you're awake or dreaming again. You trace the image with your hands, a soft smile splitting across your lips and it's as if the world around you has disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many of you have figured out that each chapter is a step toward building a solid foundation between Levi and Eren. The first chapters explore the profound links of their unique soul bond. After this chapter, the storyline will progress more and we will draw closer to the two of them meeting.
> 
> Someone asked me if I'm following the canon storyline and while I plan on using it for this story, there will be changes that I'll make so it's more suitable for the plot and how heavily Levi's presence will be.
> 
> When I first started writing this, I honestly didn't plan on making it more than maybe ten chapters. But I'm always plotting and being inspired so it's safe to say this story will be much longer than I anticipated. So I appreciate everyone being so patient through the build up. I love hearing from each and every one of you and I'm blown away by the love Mirrored Souls is getting. Thank you all so much as always!
> 
> Now that names are finally revealed, things finally pick up! Be prepared, next chapter will be the fall of Shiganshina.


	5. Off the Edge of Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter received so many lovely comments and kudos. As always, thank you for your ongoing support. It means so much to me. I hope to deliver with this story. I have so much planned. ;)

* * *

_With dirt on your knees and blood in your teeth_  
_You want life to lead you to believe in something  
_ _But it's coming, t_ _he numbing  
__So we dive on into the deeper end  
__For a blissful kiss from Judas's lips  
But it's coming, t_ _he_ _numbing_

 

* * *

**Eren**

 

"So, Eren wants to join the Survey Corps."

 

The words are uttered softly, but with purpose. Your bright eyes are wide with betrayal and anger. The four of you sit at the dining room table, bantering about the bouts of your day and what is to come for the rest of the week. Your mother is instantly still, looking to Mikasa and than you in disbelief and unbridled anguish. Your father is most stoic, simply sipping on his potato stew while giving a slight hum of acknowledgment. You slam your utensils against the table in an angry huff.

 

"What the hell, Mikasa?!"

 

Your mother is rising from her seat, rushing over to you while leaning close to you. "Have you lost your mind? You'll stop thinking such nonsense! No son of mine will be sent off to the front lines just to be killed!"

 

"As opposed to what?" you demand, moving to stand as well. "Being trapped inside of these walls? Being huddled together like we're livestock? There's so much more out there, Mom! Armin knows what I'm talking about―"

 

"Enough!" Carla shouts, her distress evident on her features. "I know it isn't just that, Eren! You're hoping to meet that man. There are other ways to go about doing that than putting your very life at risk!"

 

"It isn't just about  _him_ ," you retort, your cheeks hollowed. "Haven't you ever wanted to escape and just see the rest of the world? I'd gladly die trying to continue to―"

 

The octave of your voice intensifies, knowing nothing you're saying is getting through to your mother. You understand, or at least, a small part of you does. Any mother would want their child safe. But how could she not see or understand the  _pull_ and  _tug_ on your very soul just to be near  _him?_  It ripples through your entire body on a daily basis, only rising in it's augment as the days, months,and years pass. You know what you need to do. You know what absolutely  _must_ be done―

 

Your father fluidly stands, wiping his mouth and placing the cloth on the table. It's enough noise to disrupt the screeching protests spilling from your mother's mouth and startle you to silence.

 

"Please, Grisha, scold the boy! Talk some sense into him before you go!" she pleads, abandoning the table to follow him to the door. You remember vaguely that your father was being called into the inners walls so he'd be gone for the remainder of the week.

 

"Carla, dear," he chuckles, much to your disbelief. Your mother looks appalled. "You can't blame Eren. After all, he's a curious boy and his soulmate is listed in the ranks. You should understand what it feels like to have them so far away from you."

 

"I understand but still ― Grisha," she sighs dejectedly. "He's far too  _young._ If he enlists... God, we don't even know the full extent of what's out there!"

 

Mikasa remains quiet, using her spoon to slowly stir her stew. You're still standing with your fists clenched at your sides. When your father's sharp eyes turn to you, you stiffen immediately. 

 

"Eren," he calls out, adjusting his hat on his head.

 

"Y-Yes, sir!" 

 

He smiles, pulling out a key that is attached to a leather strand. "Be a good boy while I'm gone. Think clearly and calmly on your choice to join the Survey Corps. Don't rush in just for the sake of meeting your soulmate. Be rational and sympathetic with your mother. If you can do that for me, I'll show you whats inside of the cellar when I come back. Agreed?"

 

Your father's tone is thick, but you find yourself nodding with unhindered excitement. "Absolutely! I promise, Dad!"

 

Grisha chuckles, swinging the key back inside of his shirt. He kisses your mother chastely on the cheek. "I'll be back next week, remember what I said, Eren."

 

A few moments after he steps out the door, your mothers amber eyes are back on you. "Help me clear the table."

 

Her tone is cool, making you shiver. She's clearly not happy with neither you or your father's words. But you obey. With Mikasa's help, the two of you discard the contents of the table and wash the remaining dishes before putting them away. The three of you are far too quiet, stiff in your movements. 

 

Finally, your mother speaks. "You'll stop those impulsive thoughts of joining the Scouts," she begins, never letting her eyes move from her task of wiping the basin down. "I don't care what your father says."

 

You can't control your actions as you slam down one of the bowls against the counter, pushing yourself away and running toward the door. Both your mother and Mikasa call after you, shock present on their faces at your abrupt actions. You thrust the door open, not uttering a single word as you run out into the dusk light blanketing the city. The sun is a heavy tangerine color littering the cobblestone streets. You don't register Mikasa chasing after you, your mother leaning against the doorway with an expression of love and loss. You didn't realize at that moment, those would be your last seconds with her.

* * *

 

"She just doesn't get it," you mumble, tossing a wooden ball into the air while catching it. It's heavy against your palm as you lay down along the stone ledge, grass spread out below near the canal. "She thinks I'm just trying to throw my life away. I see citizens every day, walking around without a care in the world. It's only a matter of time before that wall comes tumbling down and what then?"

 

"Eren..." Armin hisses in warning. He drags himself to the ledge Eren is pressed against, sighing as he continues, "You can't fault her for being protective. Didn't you see the previous return of the Scouts? Only 15% made it back alive. Is that really what you want to subject yourself to?"

 

"Yes!" you exclaim bitterly, looking at your friend incredulously. "I'm tired of not knowing, Armin! I'm tired of being caged! For fuck's sake―"

 

"Eren," Mikasa chides softly, a scowl present on her lips. "You know better than to―"

 

"And  _you_!" You point your finger to Mikasa resentfully. "Why did you have to go and open your damn mouth? What's your deal?"

 

"I'm just trying to  _protect_ you!" she insists, calmly sitting by your side near the water. "I don't want to see you recklessly throw your life away for some man you've never met! It doesn't matter if the two of you are―"

 

"Stop," you raise your hand, letting the ball fall to the stone below. "I've heard enough. You're not going to sway my decision. Isn't this the point of having a soulmate? To be with them? To be a part of their lives? You'll understand once it happens, Mikasa. Both of you will. It's not something you can just fight against and trust me, in the beginning, I tried."

 

Mikasa's facial features soften and Armin sighs. 

 

"So just  _stop_ trying to tell me what I need to feel or do. It's just... I can't explain it, 'Kasa. I wish I could." Your voice lilts downward, your own expression changing. "I just... I feel him  _here_ ," you place a hand on your chest, closing your eyes.

 

_Please, respect and support me._

 

As your eyes drift shut, you feel an intangible heat spread in your chest. At the same moment, your body jolts upward. You let out a startled cry, reaching to grasp anything for purchase as your thrust into the air. The ground under you quakes, making your insides twist as a thundering strike of pale green light blasts in the distance. In your peripheral vision, you can see both Mikasa and Armin grasping for support as the three of you fall onto the stone ground beneath you. You gasp, running a straining hand against your chestnut hair. You glance around you, noticing several individuals just as unkempt and confused as you are. What the hell had that been?

 

"What..." you begin to ask but stop, your ocean orbs widening and fractionally opening as you gaze toward the pale wall beyond you. There is a deafening silence that falls upon you and those surrounding you; each one of them staring with mouths tightened in apprehensive misunderstanding and fear. Mikasa and Armin balance themselves, following your eyes. Your heart thumps painfully, your vision strained.

 

You see it then.

 

Behind the wall, it's massive. It's carnal and terrifying face rising slowly above the structure. Hollow with flesh and skin, unlike anything you've ever seen. There is a viciousness behind its heavy eyes, gazing toward you all like a flock lost in the field. Ready to pounce. Ready to strike. Your breath stutters inside of your chest, your eyes unable to tear away from the sight. It's slowly rising, revealing more of the thick skin of muscle and bone. Bright and unmistakable. Carnage peaking through the contours of its face and collar bones.

 

 _A Titan,_ you think with feverish fright, feeling it thunder through you the same way the light struck the earth only a moment before.

 

A scream tears from your throat. 

* * *

**Levi**

 

It swelters inside you, something manifesting in a fit inside of your chest. Your horse continues to gallop aside Erwin and several other comrades, treading along the far plains outside of the walls. You try to ignore it, unfamiliar with such a feeling. But it's steadily building, the tightness inside of your chest and body beginning to render you in its grasp. Your breath hitches, your horse losing some of it's footing at your riddled stature.

 

That's when you see it.

 

A momentary flash, harsh and present. You see a hand reaching out, delicate digits splaying in desperation. You see beyond the hand, a woman with chocolate hair tied to her side, face twisting in trepidation while tears cascade down her pale face. The flashes don't give you much time to truly observe the horror that is happening, but you catch enough. She is crushed beneath an unstable house, only her upper torso exposed while her face is riddled with dried tears and expressive eyes. 

 

_What the fuck is this?_

 

It's the first time you've ever experienced something so vivid before. You've seen tidbits here and there, but nothing to this extent. It renders you still, pulling the reigns of your horse as you attempt to compose yourself.

 

_Mom!_

 

Your eyes are wide, tears building in the corners. Erwin begins to slow next to you, raising a pale brow in question.

 

"Levi?" he asks with uncertainty.

 

Your mouth parts as the next wave hits you, your head nearly was thrown back at the onslaught of dread surging through you. You've never felt anything quite like it. You see a shift and then a horrific figure appears. Its smile is menacing, taunting and ripping through you. Teeth, flesh, and intent on destroying. 

 

_Eren._

 

It makes so much sense now.

 

_Eren._

 

You turn to Erwin with an unusual sense of urgency.

 

"How long has it been since the outer patrol reported in?"

 

The words leave you in a rush, surprising Erwin to a stand-still. He halts his horse, perplexed.

 

"Approximately three hours. Levi, I don't quite understand why you're―"

 

You scowl viciously, eyes narrowed while demanding, "Then  _send someone._ Don't fucking question me. Just send a group over to―"

 

Before you finish your sentence, one of your comrades if hastily rushing toward you on his horse. He appears breathless, leaning heavily on his stead while waving both you and Erwin down.

 

"Sirs!" he calls, slowing to a trot next to you both of you. You arch a brow, quelling the emotions rising through you like a firework in the air.

 

"Go ahead, Ders," Erwin says calmly, grinding on your mind.

 

"We've received word from the outer perimeter that Shiganshina has been breached, sirs! The Titans are making their way in and they are struggling to prepare reinforcements, sirs! They're moving toward Wall Maria!"

 

The chill that runs through you nearly renders you still, your eyes wide and the grip on your reigns skin-tight. The images flooding your mind clinging to you like a vice.

 

Erwin glances at you, his own blue eyes studying you with intensity. He steadies his own horse, his eyes never leaving you.

 

"We  _will_ discuss this," he says, but it's a promise.

 

You chew on your lower lip uncharacteristically, slapping the leather reigns and ushering your horse to follow behind Erwin and Ders.

 

_Stop it, no!_

 

You clench your eyes shut, but when you do you see nothing but gleaming, taunting eyes and blood. So much blood. Raining down against the tanned, small hand reaching forward. You've seen so much death and destruction throughout your life, but  _this_ doesn't stop the very pulse inside of your veins from freezing over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are curious about the titles of the songs I am posting, I will compile a list of them in the next chapter. :)


	6. Fiercely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Follow me on Tumblr!](https://www.taintedashes.tumblr.com)
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> 
> I'll follow this fic under #fic:mirroredsouls

* * *

 

 _Running with the devil, racing through the_ _years_  
_Staring in the face of death, had_ _way too many fears_  
_Tried to move the mountain, only moved t_ _he air  
Only finding rocks and there are _ _windows everywhere_

 

* * *

**Levi**

 

It takes a great deal of effort from each division of the military to get the remaining survivors of Wall Maria into Wall Rose safely. The death toll is catastrophic, unlike anything you have ever witnessed before. The carnage left behind Shiganshina was a painful reminder of the loss and war they had endured and as a result, the entire remaining territory of Wall Maria was forced into abandonment. With the second breach, there was absolutely no saving and therefore considered impossible. Even with the strength of all regiments, the Titans outnumber your total by deadly proportions. It leaves a sinking feeling coiling inside of your stomach to think of those who had died on that horrific day. To think of those who witnessed and experienced the savagery and terror that spread through the city of Shiganshina.

 

You remember his panic, his startling fear and how it held you in its clutches. You think of Eren. You try to calm the raging storm inside of you. Was he alive? Was the vision he had a result of Eren  _escaping_ Shiganshina? You wish there was some way or another to just  _reach out to him ―_ to just know he was still breathing. You remember his  _voice_ ― the very first time you hear it. It clenches at your heart without warning, the  _anguish_ you heard. 

 

Eren had lost his mother that day.

 

You need a last name. You need to find the boy and  _go to him._ It was going on nearly  _five years_ since the very first time you had seen his youthful face in the mirror. With the chaos of the Titans overtaking Wall Maria, you can't remember the last you've actually glanced at his or your reflection. The tugging stirring to life inside of you is insistingly growing  _stronger._ It's a strange feeling you're unable to control. A few weeks have passed since the attack, most of their units focusing on relocating the refugees and working with what little-stored rations they had. You are exhausted. You are bitter. You feel an emptiness settle inside you are the thought of the hundreds of thousands of lives lost on that day.

 

There was nothing you could do the save them, you tell yourself over and over again.

 

The mess left behind after the fall leaves most of your comrades in random bouts of confusion, disorientation, and fear. It's been several days since you've spoken to Erwin or Hange since the return to the wall. So when the moment arose, Erwin sends for you.

 

You've been expecting it for a few days now.

 

Your unit is currently residing inside of Wall Rose, using an old building near the edge of Trost to recover while simultaneously participating in the recovery of refugees. So you follow the soldier Erwin sends for you wordlessly, your boots echoing down the corridor and toward a vacant room that seems to have been previously used to hold conferences of briefings. Your tired bones for you to move, the young soldier saluting without a sound and leaving you.

 

You close the door behind you as you enter, sighing at the sight of Erwin and Hange waiting patiently for you.

 

Erwin's strong gaze meets yours from across the room. He's sitting along the foot of the table, Hange to his left. He raises his hand while commanding, "Sit."

 

Your lips twitch into a deep line, trying to disguise your frown. You don't like the edge in his tone, it was a rarity you heard it. Hange appears uneasy next to him, which isn't usual for them either. Given what's transpired these past few days, you suppose it's warranted.  You choose the chairs directly across Erwin at the large, wooden table. You lean your elbow against the surface, trying to adjust and get comfortable even with the dread twisting in your gut.

 

You know what this is about.

 

"We're here to discuss two things," Erwin begins. "I suggest what is said behind these doors  _stays_ behind these doors. That's the entire reason it's just the three of us. So I'll address the first issue."

 

You raise a thin brow. "And that would be...?"

 

Hange sighs. "They're going to draft refugees to go and reclaim Wall Maria."

 

Your face, for the most part, remains impassive. But it's slowly changing, contorting with seething rage. "Are they out of their fucking minds? Who issued this draft?"

 

"It's coming directly from the Capital," Erwin says.

 

"It would be  _suicide_ to send anybody out there now,  _especially_ with the amount of time that has passed since the Titans breached. Do they honestly believe―" You stop, catching the glint in Erwin's eyes. It was soft and nearly sympathetic. Quickly, the gears inside of your head turn with understanding. "They're sending them to die."

 

Hange bows their head and Erwin's expression tightens. "The rush of civilians that have entered into Wall Rose is truly overwhelming. If they continue like this, the entire territory itself will run out of rations within a matter of weeks. We've already lost our most expansive lands and crops due to the invasion."

 

"So they figure they'll just send  _half_ of the population to their deaths? And that'll solve the problem? There are hundreds of  _women_ and  _children―_ " Your mind thinks of Eren and  _fuck,_ you can't unsee it. 

 

"Children are excluded," Hange reasons, though their own voice is thick with repressed bitterness. "They're sending those over the age of forty-five, mainly men but I'm not entirely sure if women are being excluded as well."

 

"How fucking  _kind_ of them!" you snarl.

 

"Levi," Erwin cuts in firmly. "This is an ordered draft and there is absolutely nothing we can do. If they do not allow this, most of the people within Wall Rose will die of starvation very soon. You must understand."

 

"Of course I understand," you hiss. "That doesn't mean I have to like it. Not one fucking bit. There's nothing I hate more than unnecessary death. At least if they're sending us out with them, they  _may_ have a fighting chance."

 

"We're ordered to stay behind," Erwin tells you and your eyes widen.

 

"So they're hoping not one soul makes it back alive."

 

Silence falls upon the three of you and you're simmering with hot, white rage.

 

"What's the second part of this conversation you wanted to discuss?" you say after a few moments. Your fists are clenched and your knuckles are turning white. When you came here you hadn't expected the conversation to steer in this direction. You're hoping to avoid it and coax it in a different way. You can't keep your mind from escaping the images of mindless killing. You  _still_ can't get the image of Eren's mother, buried and waiting to die, out of your mind.

 

Erwin glances at Hange and then back to you. "Before the fall, you started acting strangely. You appeared genuinely uneasy and unfocused. You asked if patrols had been reporting in, which didn't make sense at the time." He leans forward, clasping his hands in front of him. He never takes his eyes off of you. "Why is that?"

 

You feel scrutinized under their gazes, yours wavering to the hardwood beneath your hand.  _What the fuck do I tell them? Oh, no reason. I just happened to have a vision of my soulmates mother about to be devoured by a fucking Titan. That'll go over well. Then again... what else am I supposed to say?_

 

You're riddled into a bout of silence, which only serves to etch Erwin's expression more firmly. " _Levi_ ," he beckons you further, leaving no room for silence.

 

You shift in your seat, your eyes narrowing dangerously. "What I say  _does not_ leave this room, understood? That  _especially_ goes for you, four-eyes."

 

Erwin and Hange exchange withering glances but nod. You take a deep breath. The truth, right. That's what needs to be said. But a small part of you, that small part that is tugging with an invisible force, is forcing you to think of Eren. "I have a soulmate."

 

_There, I said it._

 

"But you never wrote that in your entry forms," Erwin says slowly. "I know you understood that information is crucial upon joining any branch of the military."

 

It's common knowledge that if you are linked to a soulmate, whether you know their identity or not, that you list so upon entry into the military. You skimmed over that part with a solid intention.

 

"I didn't have a name," you say. "How the hell can I put my soulmate's name down if I don't even know who they are?"

 

Hange taps their finger against their chin while daring to ask, "Are you implying you have a name now?"

 

"Only a first name," you explain. 

 

This intrigues the Commander, his fingers flexing. "Have you met them yet?"

 

"No. That's where this whole mess begins."

 

"How can you know..." Hange's face contorts with dubiety, the tapping of their fingers halting. "That would be impossible for you to know their name if you haven't had to chance to meet them yet. Unless you've known them previously, but the odds of that are slim to none."

 

"I'm not sure what relevance this has to what happened out in the field, Levi. If you're attempting to make a point, I'd suggest you make it quickly."

 

Your lips twist into a scowl of impatience, more toward yourself than the other two occupants in the room. "I'm  _trying_ to get to that. It's not easily explained, alright? How the fuck do you say you've been seeing visions or having dreams of the memories in your soulmates life?"

 

Erwin rears back in his seat and Hange pushes themselves to a stand. "Visions?"

 

"The day Wall Maria fell," you begin, inhaling a sharp breath. "When we were out in the field, you saw me, Erwin. I lost my focus. The reason for that was because I was seeing Eren's mother left like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. I could see it through his eyes. I've had dreams here and there, little glances or his everyday life. But that was the most details and vivid imagery that I had seen yet."

 

"That's impossible," Erwin whispers in awe.

 

"It's remarkable," Hange breaths instead. "Levi, how long has this been  _happening_?"

 

You bite your lip in aggravation. "Almost five years."

 

"You should have  _said something_ ―"

 

"Erwin," Hange cuts him off quickly. They turn to you after hushing the other man, their eyes not holding their usual bright and excited energy. Instead, you see an array of wonder whirl in the depths of their eyes. "Levi, do you realize how exceptional this is? Have you not heard of the stories?"

 

"Stories? We don't have  _time_ for a fucking history lesson―"

 

"Oh, but you do. This dates back to hundreds of years ago. Before the walls were built and the Titan's appeared. Soulmates had a unique, more pure bond than most of us have now. The corruption from war and the world-changing tempted and changed the links of everyone's soulbonds as the decades passed. Bonds began to weaken and the images of our soulmates were hazy at best. The fact that you're saying you've seen memories and  _visions_ as they're happening... Levi, that is incredibly  _rare._ "

 

Hange glances back to Erwin, who is sitting and silently gazing at Levi. "I'd like permission to explore this further if you'll let me. This could fill the holes on so much research underlying the soulbonds between two people."

 

You snarl before you can stop yourself. "I'm not an experiment or a damn guinea pig, you asshole. We should be focusing our resources for research on things that  _matter―_ "

 

"You'll allow it," Erwin's voice booms, stunning you into silence. His sharp, sky gaze pierces through you. You can see the gears inside of his mind shifting and turning, leaving you with an unsettling feeling of uneasiness. "We can spare the resources, that's not something you should be concerned about. Those are my orders and you  _will_ follow through on them. You and Hange are to work together until you come to a conclusion that is plausible."

 

_A conclusion that's plausible? Oh, that's funny._

 

None of this made sense. It hasn't since day one.

 

Through clenched teeth, you hiss out the words, "Understood,  _sir._ "

* * *

 _A pure soulbond._ That's what Hange calls it. You want to laugh. You want to  _scream._ Does fate enjoy fucking with you? At the moment, it feels like it. Years pass after the destruction of Wall Maria, the land abandoned and the citizens finally able to move forward with their lives after the tremendous loss. Those who were sent out during the call of the draft bid their goodbyes, knowing very well what fate had in store for them. Families, soulmates and loved one torn apart as only fifteen percent of the men and women who were sent had returned alive. It did, however, deteriorate the famine inside of the walls while securing whatever rations were left as a result of the large sacrifice.

 

It makes your stomach turn to think back, but you move forward. You're _always_ moving forward. Instead, your focus lies on securing Wall Rose, it's citizens while continuing to follow Erwin's vision and find valuable information and supplies outside of the walls. The days and months blend together, making you wonder if three years had really passed. As ordered, you continue to research alongside Hange. You rarely find the time and a part of you is reluctant. For many years, you've not only attempted to understand your bond with Eren but you try to find  _him_ as well. The manifests were an absolute disaster when you and Hange seek his name out among the many piles of paper. Nothing promising, nothing solid; fruitless and useless and the worry bubbles into something more inside of your stomach.

 

If you didn't see him in the mirror, gazing back at you, you'd think he had died that day. 

 

You're enjoying a rare moment inside the solitude of your quarters. Your duties are minimal that day and your pacing back and forth with another book in your hands. Hange has an impressive amount of literature on the subject of soulmates so a small part of you is grateful for the material. In the main libraries and studies, you didn't have the fortune of finding anything useful on the subject. You've acquired so much literature on the subject of soulmates that you're beginning to memorize the lines word for word in each book. You're silently wondering if you're developing an obsession that could rival Hange's.

 

_A pure soulbond differs from an established soulbond. Pure soulbonds, now a rarity, were a natural part of civilization between the years of 650 and 746. Though the origin of the bonds is unknown among philosophers, it is believed that these unique bonds were used as means of communication during times of crisis, war, and courting. It is also unknown as to why the effects of these bonds began to differ and deteriorate as decades and centuries passed._

You snort _. The only time I've ever been contacted by Eren was when he wrote his name in the mirror. That was almost seven years ago. Still..._ You spare a glance to the full-length mirror that has served as a compass into the young boys' life. With the book still in your hands, you tilt your head as you examine the said boy. His eyes lock with yours.  _I've witnessed moments of his life not many would know about. He's more than likely seen memories of mine. I've looked into this in the past and not one person had ever mentioned seeing another soulmates memories. If this is as rare as these books say, what the hell does it mean? Why me or him?_

 

Something is different through the glass.

 

Your brows furrow together, the book falling to your side as your eyes search endlessly.  _His clothes._ The clothes he usually wore were replaced with a familiar tawny jacket adorned over his now broadening shoulders. You're only able to see the top half of his body, the rest fading into a shimmering mirage. 

 

He's enlisted.

 

You want to be surprised, horrified, and angry. You want to reach in and grab him by the shoulders just to shake some sense into him. Did this boy have  _any_ idea what being a part of the military entailed? The dangers you were bound to face. You want to remain indifferent and uncaring but your very  _soul_ refuses to allow you such dismissal. _Of course, he understands. He's seen this horror shit-show first hand._ You take in the way his hair has grown, the now sharpness of his face with its stunning angles and ridges. Any remaining youthful chubbiness was gone, replaced with wiry muscle that was still developing. His lips are plush and pink, his skin still the same caramel color it had been all of those years ago. It's as if you're seeing him for the first time again and you  _realize then ― he isn't a boy anymore._

 

And this was a door opening for you to  _find him._

 

Your pale eyes narrow and his do the same _―_ those emerald confines reflect a ferocious array of fierceness and a stunning beauty _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'd like to thank all of you, as always. Your support for the fic keeps me going. It really does. Now that we're going further into the whole level's of what soulbond is what, I feel like it will clarify Levi and Eren's relationship more. As tagged, be aware of time skips. If I didn't have time skips this story would be, like, 60 chapters long lol. But it also shows what's changed in between points of view. I did not have Eren's POV in this chapter because, in all actuality, I just couldn't find a place for it. So you'll definitely see him next chapter. Be mindful that I make mistakes and if there is something you see or don't understand, feel free to let me know. Second person narrative is a challenge to write but it's also a lot of fun and something different for me. :)
> 
> And I know waiting for Levi and Eren to meet is killing some of you. Rest assured, they will be meeting within the next two chapters. I know looking at each other in a mirror can only be so riveting, but it plays a huge role in this story. Mirrors are literally the center of everyone's world in this lol.
> 
> Thank you all so much! See you next chapter!


	7. Orchard of Mines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I don't know what to say. The last chapter received over 70 kudos. That's a big deal to me and the comments I also got were wonderful and inspiring. I love talking to all of you. It makes the writing experience so much more fun and exciting. At any rate, this chapter may a bit surprising. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

 

 _And you seem to break like time_  
_So fragile on the inside, you climb these grapevines_  
_Would you look now unto this pit of me on the ground_  
_And you wander through these to climb these grapevines_

 

* * *

**Levi**

 

The mirror could never replicate the beauty of actually  _seeing_ him for the very first time. Within hours of the knowledge that he's enlisted, your feet subconsciously travel outside of headquarters and to the training grounds outside of Trost. The pull you're feeling is insistent; startling and causing a fresh wave of an unknown desire to build inside of your chest. When you arrive, you're doing the best you can to remain inconspicuous and unseen. You slither through the shadows, keeping your presence quiet as you observe the grounds in front of you. There are several up and coming trainee's, taking strong strides and pushing themselves to the brink to become soldiers. They are training diligently, exerting themselves while operating the, for now, foreign mechanics of their new Omni-directional mobility gear.

 

But then you see him, a stark figure among his peers. He is vicious in his tenacity, reckless in his abandon and stunningly distinctive in his plight. Your boots clench loudly against the soil beneath your feet, your hands clasped behind you as your feet carry you. You can't take your eyes off of him and something flares to life inside of you. Your instincts are screaming for you to run to him, but you silence them. You grit your teeth and clench your hands against your back. You don't understand why you're holding back but the logical portion of your mind  _screetches―_

 

_You'll ruin him. He's only fifteen. He's about to graduate. Not now. Fuck, not now. What does he mean to me? ― why the hell do I care?_

 

"Captain Levi," a voice interrupts your whirling thoughts. Although you're startled, you've learned to contain the emotions on your expression. You merely turn, indifference crossing your face as you turn to the voice. 

 

"Shadis," you greet, nodding curtly. Keith Shadis approaches you, face tight with etched wrinkles and a sour tilt. His sharp eyes don't deter you. You give the man credit where's it due, bringing the younger adults to terms with what they've signed up for. If anybody could break them in, it would be this man. 

"What brings you out here? If you're already recruiting, I'll vouch right now that none of these piss ants are even close to qualifying for Scout material."

 

Your lips nearly twitch in a smirk. "Not recruiting, only observing. I'm here on my own oblige."  _Not a lie._

 

He hums, scratching his jaw while gazing out toward the field. "You'll find these recruits are especially challenging, which is usually a good sign."

 

"How so?" you ask, doing your most damn to keep your eyes from straying on the sun-kissed skin of your soulmate.

 

"The past few years, most of the recruits lacked passion. But  _these_ folk, well..." his eyes narrow as he continues, "They're good kids. Half of them don't even know why the hell they're here. But you've also got those who have witnessed the horror of the Titan invasions first hand."

 

He lifts a finger, pointing out while explaining, "That one over there, Kirstein. The best I've seen with our gear. A born natural."

 

Your eyes trace an ash-haired teenager with an ignorant smirk, observing his fluid movements but making no remark. You only nod.

 

"And there," he continues. He's pointing to a young woman. "Ackerman. She excels in nearly every area. Her strength and skill are completely unmatched. One look from her makes the other recruits nearly piss themselves."

 

The young woman with midnight hair he points to strikes a memory deep inside your cerebellum, but you do your best to detain it. Now was not the time to let your memories fluctuate. Her expression is neutral and void.

 

"But  _him,_ " he clarifies, tanned fingers extend out in the distance. The shade from the awning above it keeping the sun from obscuring your vision and you realize Keith Shadis is pointing to none other than Eren. "He is truly something else. I don't think I've ever seen anybody with so much willpower or determination in my entire life. He's never discouraged. If he falls, he's back up within seconds."

 

You watch the young man during his simple hand-to-hand exercises, his eyes ablaze and his limbs locked. He's adjusting his stance, preparing himself for another blow from one of his fellow teammates. He's sparing with someone twice his size, and you can already see he's aware of this fact. Still, he doesn't falter. He raises his fists and maneuvers his legs to stand correctly. You observe as the taller individual doesn't give Eren a moment to prepare, charging forward and knocking the brunet directly onto his backside. Your lips twitch into a near wince, but you stop yourself when you see the young mans expression.

 

He channels his failure into a pure fire, igniting the stimulus inside of him and raising himself back to his feet. He momentarily sways but doesn't relinquish his fight. His eyes continue to shine with purpose, using whatever strength he has left to catch his partner off guard and successfully brings him to the ground. You run your tongue against your teeth, a swell of pride warming your chest.

 

_Firey little shit. Look at you._

 

"His names Yeager. He comes straight from Shiganshina."

 

 _Eren Yeager,_ you astonish with finality.  _Finally, a fucking full name. So that day I saw you, reaching for your mother... you were right in the middle of that chaos._

 

You and Shadis stand there for what seems like hours, observing quietly. All the while, you're merely drinking your soulmates physical features in, his breathless insistence. Shadis eventually interrupts you, clapping a hand on your shoulder while saying, "Feel free to watch as long as you need. I need to get down there and corral them for the mess hall. It's getting late. Come by anytime, Captain and instill some fear in them if you are ever in the mood."

 

You chuckle, your shoulders shaking as Shadis removes his hand. "I'll keep that in mind. I won't disagree, though, you've got the lively fucking crew here."

 

Shadis hums again, bidding you farewell and leaving you to your thoughts. You watch him march out to the open field, his voice rising in its intensity and instantly stunning the recruits into submission. Although it takes everything inside of you to do so, you begin to turn away. Your young soulmate is strutting into the formation, attention focusing solely on his leader. You've done what you've set out to do. Eren is alive. He is safe. He is thriving. You can't for the life of you understand what has drawn you here, but you can't help but allow yourself to flow down the current of it's intent.

 

 _A pure soulbond._ You remind yourself. You repeat in your mind. You let the words resonate you.

 

When the brunet's eyes shift momentarily, you have to push yourself to escape his line of vision. He's tense, lips tight and body rigid. 

 

 _He's searching for you,_ a voice calls. You scowl, forcing yourself to leave the grounds without looking back. You ignore the pain as it travels up your spine and centers around your heart.  _He feels your presence. His soul is seeking yours. You can't turn away for long. You'll find each other._

* * *

"You  _saw him_?!" Hange squeals in excitement as their voice rings through the study.

 

You release a drawn groan, your palm wiping against your face tiredly. "Yes, I saw him. Would you stop your obnoxious screeching?"

 

"Levi, this is  _huge_! Why didn't you go up to him and  _speak to him_?" they demand.

 

You frown at them. "It didn't seem like the right time. He's about to graduate and me walking up to him would've interfered with―"

 

Hange scoffs at you. "That's  _bullshit._ You were scared, weren't you? I mean, I can understand. Meeting your soulmate for the first time can be nerve-wracking for anybody. Hell, when I met Moblit―"

 

They're ranting, throwing their hands up and babbling. You feel a headache coming on. "Would you just... shut up for a fucking second? Shit, you're going to make my ears go numb." 

 

They stop, much to your surprise, but they wait. You know you're not getting out of this without an explanation. "I wasn't  _afraid._ It just... fuck, he's so  _young._ How he's tied to me doesn't make any sense. None of this makes sense. The timing didn't seem right. What the hell do I do? Walk up to him and say, 'I know we've been staring at each other through a mirror for years and years , but how's training?' Give me a damn break."

 

Hange sighs, "Of course, you would be overthinking things. The meeting is... frightening at first; I won't fault you for thinking that. But eventually, you _feel_ it. That urge; that  _pull._ "

 

You regard their words. "I  _did_ feel a pull."

 

Their expression changes so quickly it makes your eyebrows raise in surprise. "Describe it to me," they demand.

 

"I... don't really know how to, glasses. All I know is that I fought like hell to leave the training grounds. As I was leaving, I noticed Eren's body language changed. It was as if he  _knew_ I was close by."

 

"Fascinating..." Hange murmurs as they tilt their head. "Amazing, really. So he's feeling the pull as well. For never meeting before, the fact that the two of you are so intuned with each other is―"

 

"I know. Incredibly rare. So I've been told," you comment dryly. You run a hand through your dark locks and add, "I don't know how the hell to deal with this."

 

"A day at a time," Hange comments. Their head begins to tilt further and their eyes are locking with yours. You feel annoyance filter through you immediately at being scrutinized and having someone so close to you.

 

"What the fuck are you staring at? Back off."

 

"Nothing... well, it's not nothing. But Levi..." Hange raises a hand as if they want to reach for you, but your eyes blaze dangerously. "Have you looked in the mirror today?"

 

You chortle in disbelief. "What kind of stupid question is that? I look in the mirror more than I shit. Even if I _did_ look, it would only reflect that brat."

 

When all they do is continue to stare, your patience is worn thin. "Care to elaborate  _why_ you're staring at me like that?"

 

"It's your eyes," they start, stunning you. "They're... they have more of a blue hue than they did before. I've been fighting by your side for many years, so I think I'd now your eye color by now."

 

"I don't understand."

 

"I don't know about pure soulmates, but for the usual, your eyes change when you've met them. It's pretty common knowledge. So the fact is this; you've seen Eren, and now your eyes are reflecting that."

 

You can't figure out why your hand raises to trace the corner of your eye or why you feel a stirring inside of your stomach at Hange's words. You turn away from them, sighing softly.

 

"Anything else I should know about? Will I grow another fucking limb or something as time passes?"

 

The brunette howls with laughter, slapping their knee in good humor. "Ah, Levi! You're too much. But to answer your question, I don't think so."

 

"I wasn't  _serious_ , you deranged―"

 

"At any rate, the same will happen to Eren. His eyes will change too. From what I understand, nothing else happens. At least it didn't with me. Although, I don't know if I can speak for you or Eren. I'm going to write all of this down and document it, though. We'll keep track of whatever changes happen as they come."

 

You lean back against the chair you're in and raise your orbs to the ceiling. Somehow, at this point, nothing would fail to surprise you anymore.

 

That usually isn't a good sign.

* * *

 

**Eren**

 

"Eren... are you alright? You seem... well, on edge," Armin asks you. He and Mikasa follow behind you through the mess hall, ignoring the inquiring stares directed your way as you pass. On edge? That was an understatement. You feel disoriented, uncomfortable and  _tense._ You've felt that way for nearly half the day, and it started with your daily hand-to-hand combat training. At this point, most of those in your division have soulmates. You can hear most of the upcoming cadets around you speaking excitedly and fondly. You, on the other hand, keep the identity of your soulmate to yourself safe for Armin and Mikasa. When you enlisted, you checked off the confirmation of being linked to someone but nothing more. You don't write down Levi's name. You speak of it to absolutely  _nobody._ It feels like an instinct; something speaking to you and saying  _no, don't._

 

"I'm fine," you sigh, finding a table with enough room for the three of you to sit down. Dinner consists of the same thing, vegetable stew, and stale bread. You don't complain, and your stomach indeed doesn't. 

 

"Armin's right. I noticed you during tonight's exercises. Your form was rigid, and you couldn't keep your eyes focused," Mikasa assents.

 

You grit your teeth in annoyance, trying to hide a scowl. The room is lit with the soft glow of lanterns nearby, basking everything around you in a fine array of oranges. "Can't you drop it, please? I told you, I'm fine. We're allowed to have our off days."

 

Your day wasn't  _off_ though. You had woken up for breakfast and early morning drills, same as usual. You and your friends break off for lunch and continue with your afternoon classes. Each day was the same; never-ending and overrun with physical, academic and gear training. Usually, you're able to focus, throw most of your partners to the ground without too much hassle. But you  _felt something stirring_ inside of you. It was an insistent beckoning you didn't understand. An alien instinct that had taken over you. It made your body move on its own, your eyes roam and  _search for something―_

 

 You stand up abruptly, abandoning your meal while running a hand down the side of your face. "I think I'm going to turn in early tonight. It's almost lights out, anyway."

 

Armin looks to you disquietly. "Eren, we didn't mean to overwhelm you. We're just concerned."

 

The two of them appear apologetic. Your face softens, and you exhale quietly. "I know. I don't know what was going on with me today. Maybe I was just tired. I also had a bit of coffee this morning, so it could have made me jittery. You know the beans they find are pretty strong."

 

Mikasa does not look convinced, but for once doesn't argue. She nods her head. "Maybe you're right."

 

You leave without saying goodnight, rounding the table and exiting the hall. The summer air outside greets you with its humid, gentle winds. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, exhaling noisily and your body loosening its tension. You hope exhaustion was the cause of all of this. You're always left to wonder if you'll ever find answers. You stroll to the communal showers with the intention of only washing your face. You debate on showering tonight but decide you're mind is in too much of a haze to even focus on cleaning yourself properly. You'll take care of it in the morning. Tonight, you just want to wipe off the sweat from earlier and lay down in your bunk. You hope the barracks are quiet for a change. You don't know if you're capable of focusing on sleep with nothing but gossip and complaints spewing around.

 

There are only three torches lit on the far walls as you enter, making it difficult to see. The stalls are empty, and you sag with relief. You walk over to the sinks lined up along the front of the room, and you're barely able to make out the haze in the mirror. You scoff quietly, taking one of the torches to set some of the others ablaze. You set three more, smiling softly when the light finally strengthens.

 

"What a day..." you mutter to yourself, finally peering into the mirror. It's smudged, handprints visible on the surface of the glass. You turn the faucet below and use whatever means you can to wipe the mirror clean. As you do, you see Levi's face appear before you. You smile again, a thicker part of you relieved to see him still there. The physical features of the man never change, even after all of the years that have passed. Did he ever age? You laugh at yourself for thinking of something so stupid. Of course, he did. You take in his skin, the sharp curves of his shoulders and the mass of muscle beneath his shirt. He is breathtaking. You've always thought so. 

 

A stark royal blue catches your eyes, and you tilt your head, curious. "His eyes..." you mumble to yourself. "I don't remember them being so bright."

 

Maybe Mikasa and Armin are right. Perhaps something  _is_ off with you today, throwing you into a loop. You take several moments to appreciate the other man's image before you set out to complete your task of cleaning yourself. You throw water against your face, huffing in relief as the coolness soothes you. You reach for a rag and wipe your face clumsily, hoping you've at least ridden yourself of any dirt or grime until morning. As you continue to wash, you  _feel_ that tendril from earlier stir inside of your chest. You try to shake it off, but it persists, and it's strong. You look to the mirror in misunderstanding, wondering if there was something more profound happening and you didn't even realize it.

 

Levi's eyes only shine brighter, knocking the wind right out of you.  _He's so close,_ you hear distantly.  _Soon, he'll be closer. He's searching for you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and the next chapter will be THE chapter. These two fools will finally meet! :D


	8. Broken Barricades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, GUYS, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!
> 
> I did everything in my power to try and have Levi and Eren FINALLY meet in this chapter but it would have been far too chaotic to fit into one chapter. While this story is solely focused on the bond Levi and Eren share, the events that transpire are VERY important. It tests their unique bond is SO many ways. It's also something I just can't bring myself to rush no matter how much I want to. I swear on everything holy, you will see a lot of interacting between these two next update and I have already gotten the next chapter halfway finished. I will have it up in a week and that is a promise.
> 
> Also, THANK YOU for the kudos, comments, and such wonderful words of feedback. I'm so overwhelmed at the positive responses this story is receiving and we are just getting started!

* * *

 

 _I'm not, I'm not myself_  
_Feel like I'm someone else_  
_Fallen and faceless_  
_So hollow, hollow inside_  
_A part of me is dead_  
_Need you to live again_  
_Can you replace this_  
_I'm hollow, hollow and faceless_

 

* * *

  **Eren**

 

You're officially a soldier. 

 

You think the thought over and over again, trying to contain your eager grin.

 

 _You're officially a soldier_ ; you remind yourself again. You hear the excited chatter surrounding you as the soft glow of the torches blanket the mess hall. Refreshments and fantastic food is served, much to your disbelief. You indulge solely for the fact you feel you deserve it. Spiced bread is served alongside with steamed vegetables, baked potatoes, and a few other foreign dishes you've yet to taste. You hear a fellow cadet, Sasha you recall, express her disappointment at the lack of meat, and you chuckle. Mikasa and Armin sit beside you, talking among the new cadets and sharing stories while you throw in a bit of words here and there. You're elated; ecstatic even. You've worked hard to walk down the path that has been paved for you, and you see it through to the end. 

 

You glance around the room and take in the number of individuals you've trained with, each coming from their own unique place and having a background unlike your own. You marvel at the diversity and remember what it had taken to get to where you are now.

 

A step closer.

 

You have lost and endured. You have failed and risen. All of which you've done to bring a better future for the rest of humankind, to extinguish the hopelessness and ignite a flame of hope. But also, your heart thrums with anticipation.

 

Anticipation to see  _him._

 

You excuse yourself from the table, Mikasa and Armin averting their eyes uncertainly as you step through the threshold and into the night air. You sigh and sit down on the front steps, tilting your head up toward the sky with a distant smile on your lips. The stars blink at you, and you gaze onward, taking in the shape of the stretched darkness above you.

 

 _I feel it,_ you think. You clench and unclench your hand, flexing your fingers.  _I feel you. I don't know how, but I do. Do you feel me too?_

 

You hear footsteps behind you but don't bother to turn, knowing your friends are coming out to join you. Mikasa sits on your left side while Armin takes a seat to your right. The three of you share the sky, and you also share your thoughts.

 

"I'm still joining to Scouts," you say, turning your head and looking at Mikasa with an unwavering stare. She stares back at you, her dark eyes shielding you from seeing what she's feeling. But you have a sense of what she'll say.

 

"Then I am as well," she murmurs, running her fingers protectively over the scarf you had given her so many years ago. You shake your head, sighing softly.

 

"I didn't intend for you to follow me, Mika. You've known for a long time what I was going to do. You can't  _stop me―"_

 

"I'm not stopping you," she affirmed. "But I'm not letting you do this alone. You  _do_ understand what joining to Scouts means, don't you? We're at the top of our class, Eren. We can choose to be safely inside of the walls―"

 

"And what kind of life is that, huh?" You exclaim, standing up to face your friends. "Tell me! After everything that we've been through? After everything we've overcome?"

 

"I don't think she means to throw off your choice, Eren," Armin begins softly. His bright eyes turn to you and continue, "She wants you to know that unlike many others, you two have the right to choose. She wants you to choose the right path. We're behind you no matter what because I  _do know_ how much this means to you."

 

Your face softens. "Not you too..." 

 

Armin gathers his resolve and nods. "I'm with you too, Eren. Remember right after to fall, we talked about this? We'll see this all through  _together._ Please, don't try to talk me out of it. I've made up my mind."

 

You look at the two of them, stunned into silence. You feel a wet warmth at their warm gazes, and their words resonate inside of you. 

 

"You guys... I didn't want to drag you into my own shit. I didn't want to determine your decisions―"

 

"You aren't," Mikasa interjects. "This was our plan. And... maybe we have our  _own_ reasons."

 

"What?" you breathe. Both of them are looking elsewhere, and you just _know._  You see a spark of color surrounding Mikasa's gaze, and you inhale sharply. A dull hue of gray is piercing through her normally dark vision.Armin's eyes collect a brighter shade of blue along the ridges. "You mean... you both...?" You stammer, clearly unsure of what to say. " _When_?"

 

Mikasa answers first, her eyes downcasting. "Two months ago."

 

"Six months ago," Armin assents.

 

You blink back your tears and then laugh. How the hell have you not  _noticed_? "Oh, wow... I don't even... I don't know what to say―"

 

"You don't have to say anything. I know who my..." She struggles with the word. " _Soulmate_ is. Armin does too, a matter of fact."

 

"You know both of them," Armin interrupts. "But I'm not sure if it's something we should discuss here. Maybe when the three of us are  _really_ alone."

 

You don't know what you're supposed to do with this information, but you feel giddy. "Someone I know? Are they in our class? Did you list them on your entry forms? Oh man, I'm rambling, aren't I? Shit, I'm sorry! I just... dammit, why didn't you guys  _tell me_?"

 

Armin looks genuinely sorry as he shares a glance with Mikasa. "We just... we both know what you're dealing with isn't typical. Your bond is unique, Eren. It isn't like mine, or Mikasa's or even Jean's. You've seen what they've seen, felt what they've felt ― You're bound to  _Captain Levi."_ Armin lets of a huff as he continues, "It's unlike our bonds. It's something to be reckoned with."

 

"Meaning," Mikasa's voice drops to a dangerous tone. "You keep it to yourself. Don't tell anybody else. We don't know the extent of what you share with  _him._ "

 

You blink. "I never listed him as my soulmate, only that I  _did_ have one. I wouldn't... I wouldn't openly  _share_ who he is."

 

"We just want to be sure," Armin declares, sighing softly while looking upward. "What a mess all of this is. I feel like fate is setting us up for ultimate failure," his voice drops several octaves.

 

Your insides flare as you say, "We won't fail."

 

Both of glance at you. "We won't," you say again. "Look how far we've come. We'll make it, guys. If... If you're really sure, then I know the three of us can get through. We've trained for this. We'll finally have an advantage on the Titan's and reclaim what we've lost. And... " You swallow thickly. "We'll find what's been missing, too."

 

The wetness from your eyes returns, Mikasa and Armin standing up and the three of you embrace. You clench your arms around them while the words from earlier bellow inside of you.

 

_Do you feel me, too? Levi?_

* * *

**Levi**

 

You see a needle, hazy and abstract against the dirt beneath. **  
**

 

_"What're you doing?"_

 

You groan, tossing your head against the pillow under you. _Eren,_ you recognize. You catch a mere glance of a man, holding the object in his hands while tears are cascading down his reddened cheeks.  _His father,_ you realize. It's an instant recognition the moment you see him.

 

 _"I know you won't understand and that you're afraid,"_ the man says, his gaze fierce and blazing.  _"But this is for your own good, son. Please know that I'm doing this for you, for Mikasa, for Armin ―" he pauses, swallowing thickly. "For Levi."_

 

You  _see_ Eren taking several steps back, clutching his hands to his chest. You feel his fear pulsate through him, his confusion whirling in his desperation. Then you see the needle in its full view and his father advancing. _"You're insane," Eren breathes. He struggles against his father's strength, his fingers digging into the soil. "Mom's death finally drove you off the deep end! What are you ― dammit, stop it!"_

 

You want to reach out; you want to wake up. You claw against the sheets, gripping them into whitened fingers. What's happening?

 

_"Dad, you're hurting me! Stop!"_

 

 _"You **must** use this power to retake Wall Maria. I promise all of the answers you're seeking will be there. Whatever happens, you must  **not**_   _forget the key. Never forget the key, Eren!"_

 

You startle awake with a sharp gasp, your hand reaching instinctively to your arm and pulling up your sleeve. You glance down with a furrow between your brows, your breath coming out in harsh pants. "What the fuck..." you breath, running your fingers over the skin of your arm. You had felt the pain of the needle there yet; there weren't any signs of it against your forearm. You blink in the darkness of your quarters, the sheets around you in disarray. It has been quite a while since you have seen such vivid imagery but  _this..._

 

You can't dictate when this  _memory_ had taken place, and you're unsure of what it means. Why would Eren's own father subject the boy to something so traumatic? Was the man still alive? You've caught snippets of him in Eren's memories but  _nothing_ to this extent, and it leaves you with more questions than answers. But, in that regard, everything surrounding the bond you share with Eren never gives you the answers you're so desperately seeking. 

 

You toss the sheets aside, taking quick strides through the dark until you're facing the mirror on the opposite end of the room. You reach with shaking hands and light one of the candles to your left, emitting a soft light. You let out a sigh of relief when you see Eren's dim image looking back at you. You take in his features as if you're drinking them in for the first time and your eyes catch sight of a glinting object against the tan skin of his neck.

 

A key.

 

"Fuck..." you mutter, turning away and disrobing your sleepwear and hastily pulling your uniform on. You neglect to adjust the straps properly as you begin the process of slipping into your boots. Once you're finished dressing, you take note of the darkness outside. Hange would more than likely still be awake even at this godforsaken hour. You shake your head, opening the door to your quarters and step out without a backward glance. You need a moment to  _breathe._

* * *

**Eren**

 

The warm breeze leaves your skin tingling, the sun shining brightly above you. You stretch out your straining muscles, shielding to blinding light from above you. The afternoon stretches out beyond the walls, the warmth carrying through the whirling of the air around you. You're working alongside your squad, setting up the outer walls perimeter and preparing and cleaning the canons. Your team is a mild-mannered and easy company, following orders while making the entire ordeal pleasant with light conversation and soft smiles.

 

"Just look at them down there..." one of your squad mates, Thomas, says in wonder. You follow his bright gaze, glancing down below the wall taking in the sight of several Titan's roaming mindlessly below. They scratch and claw at the offending barricade in their way; their movements are uncoordinated and almost lazy. "This is the closest I've ever been to them. It's... unsettling."

 

You almost snort.  _Unsettling is a loose term._

 

You offer a smile instead. "Try not to look down, okay? Remember, we're trained for this now. Just focus on finishing to canons, and we'll go for lunch. It's too hot to be up here all day anyway," you chuckle while adjusting the heavy gear on your hips. It's become a part of you now, over time becoming less apparent and easier to manage.

 

That seems to set Thomas less on edge than before, nodding his head while turning back to his current task. 

 

Sasha appears before all of you, up to her usual mischief as long as it involves food. Connie shakes his head with a loud sigh, and Mina hides a delighted smile behind her hand. Several others members of your squad abandon their duties momentarily and you shift your focus instead on the city of Trost displayed below the wall. You can see the scurry of its citizens going about their day; a soft smile adorns your face.  _Look how far we've come since that day..._ you think, letting the breeze carry you in your thoughts. You listen to your friends bicker lightheartedly, the howling of the wind becoming more piercing by the second.

 

The moment of serenity shatters when the air is suddenly blazing, a stark and crisp sound booming behind you and it's light penetrating the sun's hue. Some of the people around you stumble, the quaking of the ground beneath you unmistakeable in its disturbance. You dare to turn your head, your moss eyes wide as you take in the massive figure behind you.

 

You're all stunned into silence, your eyes widening further and unblinking. You've never forgotten the creatures face, the blood color of it's cascading skin or the dull and uncaring look in its eyes. The shape of its teeth resting outside of its mouth or the curve of its jaw as it appears in calculating; menacing. It feels like hours, but you figure the seconds as they tick by. 

 

You cry out, but it's too late. A blast of roaring vapor consumes you and your squadmates, thrusting all of you off the wall and into the air.

* * *

**Levi**

 

You've felt this once before.

 

Like a parasite crawling it's way through your chest, scratching for your attention insistently. You make the mistake of ignoring it again, no images bombarding your mind. Anxiety is not a part of who you are, but it is fleeting inside of you at this very moment. You remember distinctly what had happened the first time you felt this, and you  _know_ what it means this time. Your team is currently patrolling the south end of the wall, the closest landmark being a district you're not entirely familiar with.

 

"Petra," you call out, gaining the woman's attention instantly. She maneuvers her horse next to yours, eye shifting inattention immediately.

 

"Yes, sir!" 

 

"We're retreating to the wall; I want you to gather Eld and Gunther."

 

She tilts her head in confusion which surprises you; she's usually not one to question your orders. "Sir...? Back to the wall?"

 

"Yes," you answer vaguely, you hand reaching to clutch at your cape. You attempt to hide the discomfort of the sudden pain inside of your chest, but you're sure Petra can see it. "As quickly as possible, if you can."

 

You don't give Petra a moment to respond, snapping the reigns of your horse and going on ahead. She's left in bewilderment as you race over to Oluo, who is on standby until you give him your orders. He turns to you, and his face contorts with confusion at your flustered state.  _Just fucking perfect,_ you think.

 

"Sir, is everything alright?"

 

Your answer is sharp and leaves no room for argument. "We're retreating to the wall. Call it intuition, or whatever the fuck you want. Something isn't right."

 

The air is thick around you, and the fluttering within your very pulse is blazing to life. You wish for just a moment you could  _say something; anything_ just to catch a glimpse of what is happening.  _Eren, what the hell is going on? Why are you panicking? Why are you so enraged?_

 

You're unsure of how long it takes until you see first hand what has occurred. Your squad is a short distance behind you, but your horse stops with a frightened cry, nearly throwing you off as you grip its reign to steady it.  It's there in front of you, unremarkable and unmistakable. Your heartbeat intensifies as you gaze ahead, your slate eyes widening slightly. Titan's are messily gathering from every direction, and it makes sense  _why_ you hadn't spotted them when you were out on your canvass.

 

Wall Rose has been breached.

* * *

  **Eren**

 

You remember watching your squadmates die, bitterly meeting their end with flesh-ripping upon sharp canines and being carelessly tossed aside like ragdolls. You remember your rage; seething and white as it obscures your vision. You remember being blinded by the hurt; that  _anger._ The need to kill, kill, _kill._ You also remember the searing pain tearing it's way through your leg, scraping against the blinding vexation and reducing it to nothing. The bubbling inside you is replaced with distant wonder, your eyes barely able to remain open as you attempt to look down at yourself. You can't feel your legs or anything below your waist. You are rolling haphazardly across the rooftops, gritting your teeth as the pressure inside of your chest nearly bursts.

 

_What's happening? Why is this happening? We were... shit, dammit... we were ready!_

 

You hear Armin's voice, calling out to you but you're hardly able to respond. You try to lift your head, but the strain only adds to the pressure inside of you. You hear nothing but anguished and pained screams, pleas to be spared; if you were able to produce tears, you know they'd be cascading down your cheeks at that moment.

 

You're going to die.

 

You know you're going to die.

 

Just as you're about to close your eyes and accept your fate, something surges inside of you. 

 

_Eren._

 

It's your name, being uttered in the most melodic voice.

 

_Why are you panicking? Why are you so enraged?_

 

For a brief moment, it's the only voice you hear. You lose yourself in it, letting it carry your away. But it doesn't carry you away, quite the contrary, it awakens something inside of you. Something buried deep ― something hidden in the depths of your soul. You don't know where this strength is coming from or how you're able to muster it, but you're able to regain the feeling in your upper joints and begin to push yourself off the mangled shingles beneath you. You grind your teeth together from the pain but squander it, gazing across with unsteady eyes as your best friend is about to be devoured.

 

_Please, be alive._

 

I'm alive; you cry back inside. You know you're more than likely hallucinating due to the blood loss, but that's okay. If you're able to hear  _his_ voice in your final moments, you'll be grateful. But with whatever strength you have left, you're not going to let anybody else die.

 

You're able to get across to the large Titan and use its teeth as a purchase to steady yourself, reaching nimbly and grabbing Armin's wrist. He's looking up at you pleadingly; incredulously as if you weren't real. You roar as you pull him from the depths of the wet cavern, thrusting him across and onto the roofs behind you. Your blade is in hand, shaking from the force of the mouth currently trying to snap it's jaw down onto you. Armin is looking to you desperately, his eyes watering intensely.

 

"I... refuse to... die like this..." you don't recognize your voice, laced with tenacity. Your eyes finally rise to meet Armin's. "I have... so much... I need to see..."

 

You reach out to him, your hand trembling. Armin's eyes widen in understanding.

 

"So much... I need... to see..."

 

You hear Armin scream your name and the weight against your blade is rendered useless, a red-hot pain consuming you before the entire world goes dark.

* * *

**Levi**

 

You're working together to escort civilians while simultaneously slaughter any Titan that crosses your path. Your hair is caked with decaying Titan blood, your insides twisting just from the smell alone. You do your best to ignore it, the city on high alert as the creatures continue to invade. Your mind is swimming in a way you don't understand, rendering your focus. You don't allow it to control you, though. Your comrades depend on you. The people inside of the walls depend on your strength to see them out alive. This is your mission, your focus, and your objective.

 

So  _why_ is your body faltering, why is your core pulling you in so many different directions? 

 

The entire city is in disarray.

 

As you maneuver your gear to sway you down to ground level, a voice rings inside of your head.

 

_So much... I need... to see..._

 

Eren.

 

You recognize it immediately, and your body stills against your will.

 

From a distance, you hear someone call out to you, but you can't seem to pay it any mind.

 

A flash across your vision stuns you, a hand reaching out before darkness swallows it. 

 

Your body seizes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... who are Mikasa and Armin's soulmates? Why did Levi's body react that way? Well, you'll find out soon. -Rubs hands together with an evil smile-
> 
> Also, I'm really sad. I don't have a movie theater near me playing the Roar of the Awakening this week. Like, I'm so sad. So someone let me know how it is! I hope you're more fortunate than me and get to see the first episode of Season 3~!
> 
> Thank you all for your patience. I know I promised these two would meet this chapter but like I said, I just couldn't fit this all into one chapter. The retaking of Trost has so much that happens and I wanted to include that! I feel it's important. But prepare yourselves, because these two meet and talk and everything. I will have the next chapter up in less than a week. :)


	9. Amber

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR THIS IS IT! THE CHAPTER YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!
> 
> -runs away and hides-

* * *

 

 _Love's not all lost_  
_But it's nailed to my cross_  
_And crucified all that I've held on_  
_To be awaiting_  
_Anticipating a touch such as yours_

 

* * *

 

**Levi**

 

You awake with a sharp gasp, hands prodding against your shoulders. You gaze upward, your eyes unfocused as you attempt to take in the person above you. A look of utter relief crosses over soft features, eyes closing with a short breath. "Captain... thank goodness, you're alright."

 

You move to sit up, brushing Petra aside while holding a clenched hand against your chest. "What the fuck happened?"

 

Petra frowns and her eyes travel toward the roof below. You're both situated above one of the many structures inside of Trost, away from the ever-present danger lurking around every corner. It's just the two of you, letting you know the rest of your squad must have been ahead and assisting the Garrison units. You hear in the distance the deafening sounds of earth-shattering footsteps and cannon fire. 

 

"Sir you... you collapsed. Your body convulsed for several seconds before you went completely still. We weren't able to wake you and there hasn't been a chance to find any medics. Oluo helped get you onto the roof before... well," she trails off, her eyes fluttering in unease. "I didn't want to leave you alone."

 

"How long have I been out?" you ask, pushing yourself to a stand. Your body feels unsteady and you balance yourself carefully. 

 

"Nearly two hours, sir."

 

 _You've got to be shitting me? Two hours? What the hell has been happening? What happened to..._ You thoughts abruptly shift, your hand shooting out to grasp Petra's. "What's happened? Where is the rest of my team?"

 

"They've called all reinforcements to the opening. I don't know exactly  _why..._ but there's been a bit of commotion past the barricades."

 

 _Fuck... **Eren.**_ _What the hell happened to Eren? My body ceased because..._ You want to run your hands down your face, close your eyes, and pretend this wasn't happening. Instead, you run your fingers delicately along your equipment to assure it's still in place. "We need to assist," you say. "I don't know what kind of gas we're working with, but I'm betting it's enough to get us across the city."

 

Petra instantly protests, "But... Captain! You shouldn't be moving around so freely! We should wait for a combat medic to arrive―"

 

Your eyes narrow dangerously. "We don't have  _time_ to wait! Innocent people and soldiers are  _dying._ I'm fine, I can still stand. Whatever happened isn't health related, so we need to move and we need to move  _now._ And yes, that is an  _order._ "

 

You don't give your comrade a moment to argue, the grapples bursting from their confines and piercing the closest wall beyond the roof you're on. Your body lifts with urgency, rising through the air and soaring through the thickness of the death and carnage surrounding you. It burns your nose, nearly makes your eyes water as you maneuver the hooks toward a new purchase. You hear Petra following behind you, her blades drawn close and her eyes searching. You've yet to spot any of the beasts currently raiding the city and the simple fact causes your brows to draw together.

 

"When's the last time you've one of those filthy creatures?" you call over the sound of air churning around you.

 

"Nearly an hour, sir!"

 

_This doesn't make sense. They should be swarming over here. I don't like this..._

 

You're ascending in the air, twisting your body gracefully as your piercing gaze takes in the ruination of the city of Trost. Buildings are torn and reduced to shambles, blood carelessly spilled on the dirty cobblestones beneath. Bodies are scattered and the pungent smell of flesh and decay is everywhere. You briefly close your eyes, noticing the number of uniforms adorned on each of those deceased forms. This wouldn't have happened if your body didn't decide to utterly  _betray you_.

 

 _No,_ you berate yourself.  _Now is not the time._

 

You continue to the wall, every part of you contorting in uncertainty.  _Where are you, Eren?_

* * *

**Eren**

 

"Eren, can you hear me?!"

 

_Yes. I can hear you. Why the hell are you shouting?_

 

You hear a dull thumping, making you groan in annoyance. You just want to  _sleep._

 

"Listen to me, Eren. If you don't wake up, everybody is going to  _die!_ Do you understand? Do you understand what's happening?"

 

 _No._ You want to say, but you can't find the sensation in your jaw to sound words. You're surrounded by an unearthly warmth, splintered memories spilling like tendrils in your mind. How did you get here? You remember being swallowed by a Titan after watching all of your friends die. You remember the bottomless pit of scarlet that surrounded you inside of the bastard that ate you. Your entire being  _aches_ as the fragments of memories surge through you, making you whimper in discomfort. Everything is a blur. Awakening after what felt like a century-long slumber to soldiers with their guns pointed to you; apprehensive and terrified eyes falling on you while you're supported by Armin's weight and Mikasa's sword's hang dangerously in front of you. 

 

There are so many holes in your memories. Where are you right now?

 

"Eren _, please._ Think of all of the soldiers fighting right now! Think of Mikasa, the Garrison soldiers, all of the people who are  _laying down their life for you!_ "

 

_I... don't understand, Armin. You're not making any sense._

 

Your body relaxes, your eyes fluttering behind closed lids.

 

"Think of Levi! He's out there somewhere too, Eren! Are you going to throw away the potential future you could have with him? You haven't even  _met him yet!_ Are you going to give up before you even have the chance!? Are you going to give up before you can avenge your mother!? You're Eren Yeager, for God's sake! This giant sake of flesh has nothing on you!"

 

Your hazy thoughts are abruptly wisped away as searing pain envelopes your shoulder, traveling like electric currents into the rest of your body. Your eyes split open for the first time and you're struggling against the fleshly confines against your arms and neck. As the burning agony renders your body, the memories surge through your mind and your mouth opens to scream as you're assaulted. You envision it all over again; awakening inside the form of the very creature you loathed, shielding your friends against the cannon fire from the Garrison soldiers and offering yourself to seal the wall once and for all. It rages through you and the outward form of the Titan roars in pure anguish.

 

You feel like you're being split into two.

 

You struggle against the bounds against your arms, shifting against it as you feel a sudden rush of pure perseverance ignite inside of you. 

 

_"Where are you, Eren?"_

 

You hear his voice again, echoing in the corridors of your mind. It soothes you like a natural remedy, caressing your soul and wrapping you in its embrace. You feel the light pressure against your spine disappear and your vision shifts downward and away from the trappings of your human body. You take in the smoke rising along the horizon, the decrepit buildings torn to shreds and the hundreds of footsteps that bellow in your earshot.

 

Your vision averts and your body rises from the ground.

* * *

**Levi**

 

 

It's fucking chaos.

 

Petra falls behind, tending to wounded soldiers while you continue to move forward. Your body is tingling in a buzzing sensation, your heart accelerating the further your hooks take you. You've never felt this before; this sudden  _urgency._ You hear the cries and the sound of metal carving through flesh. You hear the cannon fire and the sound of flare bursting in the distance. As you pass several buildings and windows, your heart strengthens in its resolve when you see Eren's reflection cascading over the panes. A brief image of unkept chestnut hair and lightly bronzed skin.

 

 _He's alive,_ you reason.  _Calm the fuck down, he's alive._

 

So what the hell did you see? It wasn't a distant memory. It had  _happened._ You've experienced enough to know fiction from reality. 

 

 _You're close,_ a voice ripples.  _He's so close._

 

Your heart beats faster.

 

You glide through the air, spotting several Titan's as many of the reinforcements attempt to take them down. You don't waste a moment, your mind circuiting and your blades drawn and ready. You hoist yourself above, many eyes gazing up toward you in wonder as you use one of the buildings to steady your feet. You take a moment to adjust your swords, flicking your wrists and positioning them downward. You push off the structure, the leering eyes of the monstrosities in front of you turning their full attention to you. You bite the inside of your lips but otherwise, show no indication of your rage. But it's there; bubbling along the stretches of your insides. You raise your weapons, racing downward as your grapple hooks connect along the back of one of the Titan's necks. Your blade cuts through with precision, like a knife against warm butter. A roar of acclaim sounds and you pay it no mind, already allowing your gear to move to your next target. It opens its wide jaws with the intent of snapping them on your body. You silently sneer as blood splays on your uniform, steam rising and your hands steadying themselves as you pierce the skin. The two Titan's fall unanimously, the ground below quaking upon the impact. 

 

You land on one of the many rooftops, taking in the situation around you. Soldiers are scattered, drawing the Titan's attention while some of them are on the ground. Your eyes widen briefly, wondering if the fucking idiots below have lost their mind. Why the  _fuck_ are they running down there? Before you can shout for some sort of clarification on the situation, a roar sounds and it pierces through you. You don't know if your heart can take any more assault.

 

It calls to you.

 

You turn your head to the sound, unsure of  _why_ it is nuzzling your inner thoughts. But you hear it again and again and  _again ―_

 

_Eren._

 

Your body moves on its own accord.

 

_Eren._

 

You're slipping through the air again, unsure of where you're being led. You follow the path, allowing yourself to be dictated on where to go. It's the insistent pull from days ago; dragging you like an invisible thread has been tied around you. Your insides are flaring to life; every cell inside of your body  _screaming_ and you've never felt anything quite like this.

 

 _Yes, you have,_ a voice whispers.  _The day you first saw him, you knew. You fought it, but you knew. You can't fight it anymore. He needs you._

 

You have to be mad. The roaring impales the noise around you, rendering it to a dull shuffle. You see the wall approach and you continue toward it, averting your eyes from the bloodshed below you. You notice the walls crowded from incoming Titan's but  _that_ isn't what catches your eye. No, not at all. It's the large boulder that is placed carefully between the once gaping hole that was pierced earlier. This is what caused all of this mayhem; this is what tore the city of Trost into pieces. But, as you take in the boulder, you piece together what has transpired.

 

Somehow, the large rock had been moved. 

 

But  _that_ isn't the only thing you notice. It's the decaying Titan carcasses, blood rising into mist above their bodies. One of them, however, has occupants on it's back. A frail blond boy, tugging another into his arms and scurrying away from the incoming threats looming around the corners. The other is attempting to draw the Titan's away, her blades held with certainty and a bit of hesitation.

 

You  _recognize_ these two. They're from Eren's memories. Mikasa and Armin.

 

_Eren._

 

Your actions are taken over by instinct, your grapple hooks hurtle toward the enemies ahead and you eliminate them without hesitation. You thrust your body, cutting through their napes and allowing everything around you to disappear into a wonderous whirl. You've never felt such a strong drawing before, your mind eliciting into a strange haze. The Titan's fall before you and you land on top of one of them, finally allowing yourself to look downward at the scene below. 

 

Mikasa lands near the other two, her eyes traveling up toward you while asking, "Who is that?"

 

Armin cradles the body in his arms closer, his own gaze shimmering with wonder. "That's..."

 

You pay neither of them any mind, your stance adjusting as you look over your shoulder. Your heart positively  _thrums,_ your  _insides_ reering to life as you gaze upon him ― his hair, his skin, his clothes, his arms, his legs, his  _face his fucking face finally after so many years ―_

 

He looks up to you with wavering eyes, the mossy green of them glistening with tears and wonder ―

 

"Le...vi," he murmurs in a sacred whisper.

 

Those emerald eyes transcend, a flicker of amber blazing to life in their depths.

 

_Eren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN.
> 
> Alright, I want to get serious for a minute. First off, as always, THANK YOU. I am so blown away by your comments and I am still working on replies. So please do not think for a second I'm ignoring you. I'm receiving so many comments that it takes some time for me to respond. Please allow me a few days and I promise I'll get back to you because I very much enjoy conversing with all of you. ALSO, my dear friend (Yes, you are dear) Fluffyboots, made some amazing artwork for this story. It's in chapter 3, 'Mist', please go check it out. I'm so in love with it!
> 
> On a MORE serious note, I have been having some issues with my health. I've been in and out of the ER quite a few times over the past few weeks. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety and it's really taken a toll on my health. Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It causes random dizziness and fatigue. So writing has been a challenge for me. It makes me lose focus. BUT, I am taking medication for it and hoping it combats the dizziness so I'll be back to my usual self soon. Updates will slow a bit, but not too much. Maybe once every two weeks? I still have to update my other two stories BUT I know ya'll are thirsty for Levi and Eren meeting (Let's be honest, so was I dammit and I'm writing this) SO, here you go!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed so far. The next chapter is what I'm really excited about. I won't spoil it but... yeah, stuff happens. >_>
> 
> Thank you all again. You guys are amazing!


	10. There You Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as always, I am floored by the amount of support I am getting. Y'all are some amazing people, let me tell you. I have felt so happy and privileged to be able to talk to all of you. You guys leave the best comments and words of encouragement as well as well wishes for my health. I was able to find a doctor that will see me next week and not next month and I'm hoping to have everything sorted out. So thank you again, it really means a lot to me.
> 
> SO, not the first meeting you were probably hoping for but it felt right ending the chapter where I did. I am excited about this chapter and I know you guys are too! Thanks for your patience and sticking with me. From here on out, Levi and Eren will be around each other quite a bit. ;)

 

* * *

 

  _I can see the patterns on your face_  
_I can see the miracles I trace_  
_Symmetry in shadows I can't hide_  
_I just want to be right by your side_

 

* * *

 

 

**Levi**

 

You watch him sleep.

 

You see the binding shackles and chains adorning his hands and feet, the soft illumination of the torches overhead making the room glow orange. You look at the sheets, kicked off to the side as the young man squirms. It's the closest you've ever been to him, your body vibrating electric at being in the same proximity as him. But there is another feeling licking its way through your body; confusion and frustration whirling in the depths of your heart.

 

He is a titan.

 

Or,  _he was_ a titan.

 

After you retrieved his nearly comatose body, Eren instantly fell unconscious. You took in his features; red lines across the tanned skin and the total dead weight of his form. He was exhausted, and there was no reaching him for answers. His friends, even while commanded, remained quiet for the most part until they were separated for debriefing. The reports that Erwin shows you only add to your dubiety. So much had happened in your absence and you are  _bitter_ with unhindered distaste from the thought.

 

You should have found him sooner.

 

Eren doesn't look at peace in his sleep. His dark brows furrow together, and his lips press in a thin line. His knuckles are white from clenching the sheets beneath his hands and his momentarily struggles against the confines of his chains. You lean against the bars inside of the holding dungeon, gripping one of them as you continue to gaze upon him.

 

"You've read the report?" Erwin asks his footsteps approaching from beside you. You don't bother looking up.

 

Your jaw clenches. "Yes."

 

"So you know the Military Police are looking to obtain custody of him?"

 

You watch Eren stir, and you answer, "Yes."

 

"It's him, isn't it?" Erwin continues, taking strides toward you and glancing inside of the cell. You move away involuntarily, looking at Erwin with a critical gaze. You don't answer him. "It is. I can see it in your eyes. Who would have thought that  _this boy_ was the one you're bound to?"

 

"What are you spouting off about?"

 

"The MP's intentions with Eren are going to be ill at best. They fear what they don't understand."

 

"What's there to understand?" you retort. "That a fifteen-year-old cadet can transform into a fucking  _titan_?"

 

"That may be so, but they aren't looking just to capture him _._ Surely you know where I'm going with this." Erwin's eyes are boring into yours.

 

You lip twitches downward, the realization dawning on you. "They're going to kill him."

 

"That's what Hange and I believe, at any rate."

 

You reach and grip the bars, tightening them into your fists. "I won't let that happen."

 

"You plan on swaying the brass?"

 

"I do. I'll come up with something. I may not like it or even  _understand_ it..." Your eyes downcast momentarily. "But every inch of my body is telling me to keep him safe and I will. The MP's have always been close-minded, so it doesn't surprise me. But the reports were clear that Eren regained control, and with the help of all units that were present, he was able to seal the hole in the wall. That has to count for  _something._ "

 

"They see him as a threat."

 

"He  _isn't._ " You breathe shallowly. "You... haven't seen what I've seen. He isn't a threat."

 

Erwin's eyes study you a moment longer before turning to look at Eren toss and turn. "I trust your judgment, and I agree with you. Eren is far too valuable, and he could turn the tide for us. I'll support you, but you can't be against us learning more about his...  _condition._ "

 

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, won't we?"

 

Your words are sharp, and it causes Erwin to raise his head in surprise. But soon, he nods. "Very well. I'll leave you to him, then. Maybe when he awakens, you can ask him about this." You see Erwin raise the very key that you dreamt about merely a few nights ago, the object glistening against the dim light of the dungeon. You don't hesitate to reach out and take it from his hands. No more words are said as Erwin turns and makes his leave, leaving only you and Eren down in the space below.

 

You glance down at the key in your hand, letting it fall against your fingertips. You remember Eren's father's words, the urgency and pain laced in his tone. You want to know what significance this key holds for Eren's future. Or better yet, the future of humanity.

 

Your thoughts soon deter, and you turn at the sound of a groan. You take the key and place it inside of your pocket, unsure if bombarding Eren with questions was the best way to go about your first meeting. Your insides are heated with an unknown force, and your muscles are tight. Although the knowledge of Eren being able the transform is in the forefront of your mind, you don't find yourself worried over it. You know deep down if the need arose, you'd be able to take him down.

 

Just that thought alone sends a searing pain through your chest.

 

Eren attempts to sit up slowly, his arms catching against the chains on his side. You keep your face neutral, although the very breath in your lungs come to a stuttering halt. You see his face so  _clearly._ The mirror only reflected so much. The far-along gazing couldn't compare. His skin holds a light olive tone, the developing muscles beneath straining against his clothing. His hair, though filthy, is enriched with a vibrant chestnut color. It frames his youthful face, trailing down the firm structure of his jawline. He is  _stunning._

 

Your willpower is being tested. You feel the instincts flare to life inside of you, the whispering in your head grating on whatever sanity you have left. The memories surge forward, and your grip increases in its strength.  From the very first moment, your eyes fell upon him at eighteen to staring at the very face that has haunted you for nearly eight years to the young man sitting up before you now ―

 

His mystical orbs catch yours, and you release the breath you've been holding.

 

With wide eyes, Eren takes in his surroundings. From the shackles binding him to the seclusion of his prison ― he takes it all in. He tugs fruitlessly against the restraints, turning his wrists with confusion flinting to life inside of his expressive eyes. They lift to you again, his mouth opening but closing unsurely. He's at a loss for words... and you can't fault him for it.

 

You clear your throat. "Do you know why you're here?"

 

He doesn't answer with his voice. He only shakes his head slowly, causing his shaggy hair to cover his face.

 

"Do you know  _where_ you are?"

 

Another negative.

 

 _Shit._ "Do you have any recollection of what happened before you woke up?"

 

Eren opens his mouth but winces, bringing a trembling hand to press against his brow. You're not sure what causes you to reach for the key's hanging along the far wall, or what possesses you to open to cell door ― but before your mind can catch up to your present actions, your boots click soundly against the stone floor as you step inside. Eren looks up at you unsurely, but the grimace never leaves his features. Your body is moving fluidly as if you're in a dream.

 

"Move your hand," you order, to which the younger man obeys. The sound of the metal falling to the side echoes inside of your ears. You see no visible wound, but you can feel the tension from Eren's body in the air. You gingerly press your hand against the place the cadet had previously had his own, unsure of what you're hoping to accomplish. 

 

Your body stiffens when you feel Eren's warm face nuzzle against your palm.

 

The two of you move, the younger man pulling his face back while your hand instantly is drawn to your side. You take two steps back, looking down at your hand with wide eyes. The brunet in front of you is staring at your apprehensively.

 

"I―I'm so sorry, Le―" he clears his throat, and corrects, "I mean... sir."

 

The way he says _sir_ feels so unnatural. It's the first time you've heard him speak from something other than a memory. He sounds so  _young. How_ did this situation come to be?

 

The silence descends on you both, and you wonder if this meeting was what Eren had expected as a child.

 

"How old were you?" you find yourself asking. Eren's head raises curiously. "When you first saw me?" you added.

 

Eren licks his dry lips. "I had just turned eight."

 

You nod, satisfied you were correct in that assumption. The next question seems to stump the younger one.

 

"What happened during the invasion of Trost? I've read most of the reports... but hearing it from you might save you."

 

"Save me?" Eren blinks, the exhaustion still present behind his eyes.

 

You sigh and cross your arms over your chest. "You really don't remember anything, do you?"

 

He brings his hand to his head against as if remembering rendered him with physical pain. "Only bits and pieces... it's like my head is in a fog. I know that I... was eaten during the fall. I remember waking up, Armin and Mikasa were with me then. Everything blurs after that but I..."

 

You watch him carefully as his eyes widen fractionally, his gaze rising and desperately searching yours. "So the bit of your mysteriously turning into a Titan isn't on the forefront of your memory?"

 

"Sir... I―"

 

"Does it have something to do with this?" You hold up the very key that Erwin had handed to your earlier. Eren attempts to sit up and move toward you, but the restraint around his body makes the moves futile. 

 

"Where did you get that?" he demands, his voice more hostile than before.

 

"That's not important. Answer the question," you command. Your voice takes a sharp turn before you realize it, but Eren doesn't seem to back down at its tone.

 

"I..." he swallows and struggles. "I  _don't know!_ "

 

His voice ricochets through the dark space of the dungeon, surprising you momentarily. The edges of Eren's brilliant eyes begin to collect tears, his teeth taking in the skin of his bottom lip as it quivers. "I don't know..." he repeats, his voice flattening in defeat. "I swear, I don't know how I became one."

 

You slip the key back into your pocket, crossing the cell and toward Eren. You kneel down in front of the bed, attempting to catch the shifters eyes with your own. When Eren's eyes continue to stay set to the floor, you reach and take his chin to lift his face. You're both stunned by the motion, but you quickly dispose of the thought. It felt  _natural and pleasant_ to finally be this close to the enigma that has been the sole focus of your feelings for so many years.

 

The deep amber inside of his eyes flare to life; the mark and sign of your first meeting now visible. 

 

"I believe you," you assure him. You let your hand fall back to your side, but you make no move to back away. He studies you; drinking you in bit by bit and you allow him to. "But convincing the brass will be an entirely different story."

 

"How am I supposed to convince them if I don't remember anything?" Eren inquires.

 

"Leave that to me, or the Commander," you assure him. "But when this is all over, we're going to have to explore further on your...  _abilities._ " 

 

Eren becomes somber, eyes drifting to the side. You move to give the younger man space, allowing the words to register. "Will they really kill me?" he asks in a soft whisper. You silently wonder if the circumstances had been different and Eren wasn't your actual soulmate if you would have bothered to listen to his reasoning. If you would have allowed yourself to put your trust in him. You inwardly scoff, knowing the answer. But with the memories that are forever imprinted in your mind, from the wooden sword fights in the grassy fields to the moment Eren had attempted to rescue his mother from her death, you've known this boy was fierce. Hell, he  _saved the entire territory of Wall Rose._

 

And the very thought of his life being suddenly snuffed out leaves your stomach clenching painfully.

 

"I won't let that happen," you state in a matter of fact. 

 

His tanned fingers move as much as the chains allow him to, gripping the sheets between them as his brows furrow in thought. "I'm sorry... for being so useless. For not remembering. When I thought of finally meeting you... this wasn't what I had imagined. This is... such a mess." He lets out a hollow chuckle at the last word.

 

"I hate to burst that bubble of yours, but take a look at the world we live in," you begin. "This isn't some fairytale. No matter what our  _souls_ are telling us, we're on the verge of being pushed into the only territories we have left. You should have  _known that_ when you enlisted in the first place."

 

Your words come out like the edge of a dagger, and you inwardly wince at your tone. Eren doesn't seem affected by it, in fact, his eyes raise back to yours, and the glow from earlier is present once again.

 

"Of course, I know that! I just don't understand this... this―"

 

"―bond?" You finish for him. "Or as Hange calls it,  _a pure soulbond._ "

 

Eren's eyes bore into yours inquisitively. You wave a dismissive hand with a flick of your wrist. "You'll meet them soon enough."

 

You know that's not what he's trying to ask, but now is  _not the time._ While you'd love nothing more but to sit here and discuss the mysteries of your bond with this  _boy_ now that he was finally in front of you, the two of you have more pressing matters to attend to. 

 

"Erwin will be back soon," you explain, backing away from the shifter slowly. "He'll want to go over the details of what we've discussed."

 

Eren's eyes widen in alarm. "Does he... the Commander, I mean know about―"

 

"About our bond? Of course, he does. It became  _very_ hard to hide when I had flashbacks while on horseback."

 

"You've seen my memories?" he asks in whispered awe.

 

"Just like I'm sure you've seen  _mine_ , which is why I hope you understand what you're getting yourself into. Joining the Scouts, Eren will drain you slowly. Even with your new abilities, there's always a chance of not coming back alive. You haven't seen the full extent of what's out there."

 

Eren's eyes narrow. "If you've seen my memories,  _sir,_ then you know what I've seen. I was there when Wall Maria fell  _and_ when Wall Rose were both broken through. I've seen enough to know what we're facing. Don't..." he swallows thickly. "Don't diminish my knowledge of what's really happening. All I've ever wanted since I first saw you was to be  _near you,_ fight  _alongside_ you. I want to avenge my mother and protect my friends. I want to kill every Titan that crosses my path and make a  _difference in this world_."

 

His  _passion_ is so sincere ― so  _raw._ You can _feel_ it tingle inside of your bones. 

 

You sigh softly. "Eren," you start. "I don't know what you expect from this. If you think you and I will be running off into the sunset holding hands, then let me unscramble that brain of yours. I don't even fucking  _understand_ what being a soulmate entails, so I'll apologize ahead of time if I disappoint you. I can't stop you from doing what you want; it may be the only way to save you in the end. But once you leave this cell, I'll be  _your commanding officer._ I'm ten years older than you. Do you understand where I'm going with this?"

 

You see a sadness flash in Eren's eyes, but the cadet quickly hides it. You still  _feel_ it, though. He nods his head in understanding, the glow from earlier still present in his gaze. "Yes, sir."

 

He looks to you in surprise when you cross the small space of the cell, gazing down at him in the bed. You reach and run your fingertips along the side of his face, his lashes fluttering in bliss against his high cheekbones. "I do promise you, though, I'll do whatever I can to protect you. Until we learn more; until we reach an understanding. You're not the only one who's been left without answers."

 

You rub your thumb against his cheek and sigh, the bond wrapping you both in its embrace. "I'm on your side, Eren."

 

 _Always,_ a voice echoes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA, LEVI YOU FOOL! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST FOR LONG! STOP WITH THAT BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA KISS THAT BOY SENSELESSSS. (Levi's 25 in this, btw. Why? Because I can.)
> 
> Well, I enjoyed writing their little meeting. BUT, the next chapter is the courtroom part and it's not going to be pleasant on either one of these fools. I call them fools a lot because they kind of are and they've ruined my life. -Shrugs-
> 
> Thank you all again for the wonderful support, kudos, comments; it means SO much to me. I'll see you all next chapter! :)


	11. The Bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! Thank you all for your continued support and love for this story! Seriously, it really means the world to me! Also, thank you for the continued wishes for better health. That really touches my heart. You'll be happy to hear I'm doing much, much better! Turns out, I was having an allergic reaction to a certain medication and luckily I was able to get it taken care of. So I'm feeling like my usual self again. So again, thank you!
> 
> So, in the last chapter, we introduced Levi and Eren. You'll be seeing these to together quite often now from here on out. A lot of you called what was to come in this next chapter and I'm going to warn you, you may not like it. But, we all know what the dreaded 'court scene' entails so I'm going to write out a warning for this chapter. Violence. If it triggers you, please feel free to skip it. But this story is going to have loads of that so I'll just warn you ahead of time. This is following the events of the actual manga with some twists of my own.
> 
> As far as romance actually goes... don't worry, it will happen. But Levi is stubborn and it's going to take a lot more than a soul bond to waver him. But, he's also not resistant to Eren's charm. -wink-
> 
> Thank you all again! I hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

 

 _You've been waiting a long, long time_  
_To fall down on your knees_  
_Cut your hands_  
_Cut yourself until you bleed_  
_But you're fast asleep next to me_

 

* * *

 

**Eren** _  
_

 

When you're left alone in your cell, the tingling of Levi's fingers is still present on your skin. You bring a shaking hand up, tracing along the area in which the warmth still remained. You exhale sharply with a stinging behind your eyes. You close them, letting the tears fall freely as the land upon the sheets below. It was so surreal to have Levi so close to you. To hear his voice so clearly; to feel the stark firmness of his touch, no matter how hesitant it was. It was an instinct that made you lean into his open palm, rubbing against him like a purring feline. It was an instinct that made you close your eyes in defeat at the rejective words Levi uttered to you ― the words that carved a cross upon your heart.

 

You recall his reasonings and do your best to accept them. The older man was right on many points ― their relationship, no matter how strong their bond presented, would be frowned upon. From a leader and subordinate standpoint, at any rate. The age doesn't matter very much to you. So what if he's a bit older? You've known that for almost eight years now. Did it bother Levi? Did your age repulse him? Did the fact that you can turn into a... a... 

 

You can't even form the thoughts ― a part of you refuses to.

 

Your body aches, your skin tingles, and your mouth is dry. Your eyes scan your surroundings, taking everything in. There are guards, Military Police you assume, guarding the outside of your cell. Your insides churn at the cold and weary gazes cast your way and all you can do is avert your eyes. They're looking at you as if you're some sort of monster; an abomination of the human you once knew to be residing inside of you. You feel as though pieces of your humanity are slowly slipping away from you and there is absolutely nothing you can do to grasp them back. 

 

Your skin continues to tingle at the thought of Levi, how his eyes never shook at your presence. How his touch never trembled or drew back in disgust. A part of you hidden beneath the depths of your uncertainty and your insecurities wants to believe he sees you for who you really are; the person you've always been from the moment you were brought into this world. Bits and pieces of your memories continue to surface and it's causing so much strain to your already deteriorating mentality.

 

Your heart; your very  _soul_ is longing to be near him again. You clench your teeth and duck your head until your chin is dipping against your neck. You feel as though your odds have left you at a dead end. Levi assured you he'd find a way to  _save you_ and a part of you can't imagine  _how_ he'll be able to. This is your fault after all, even if you can't quite remember what has brought you to this very moment, to begin with.

 

Time passes and it seems like hours when a sudden noise startles your heavy thoughts, your eyes lifting to glance at the emptiness of where the two guards were present only a few moments before. When only silence greets you, your body tenses. You shift in the bed where you've been held captive for more hours than you're comfortable with, your hands twisting into nervous fists. 

 

You let out an astounded breath when a face braces itself against the bars of the cell, your entire body visibly jumping. Your eyes are wide with curiosity, your hands wringing together with the sheets of the bed. 

 

The face is one you've never seen before. Their hair is a brownish color but with the light reflecting off of the torches, it appears auburn. Their deep, brown eyes reflect with their own need to know and also excitement, which unsettles you greatly. You wince when the manic look in their eyes intensifies momentarily before softening, a warm smile soon gracing over their face. You try to think back if you've somehow seen them in a distant memory, but nothing seems to come to the front of your mind. Their uniform is similar to Levi's; the wings of freedom adorned on the tawny back of their jacket.

 

"Hi, there! Goodness, I hope you haven't been waiting down here  _too_ long," they started, their voice friendly enough to give you a bit of comfort. You allow yourself to relax for a short moment. "So...  _you're Eren._ "

 

The way they say your name makes you tense all over again; their voice coming out in a whisper of wonder. 

 

"Don't be so tense, my dear! I'm Section Commander Hange, at your service!" 

 

 _Hange,_ you repeat in your head. Their name surfaces from the conversation you only had with Levi a few hours ago. "Ah... it's nice to meet you, Section Commander."

 

They giggle,  _giggle_ under their breath. "You're just  _adorable._ I hope they've been kind to you down here. I had meant to come down so much sooner but you know... complications and what not," they say, shrugging indifferently, but not going into further detail. "But now that I  _am_ here, we'll talk about finally getting you out of this damn cell."

 

You sag in visible relief. "That's so good to hear..." you admit.

 

"I'm sure it is  _but_ ―" they begin to reply, closing their eyes briefly. "Before we get into that, I'll need you to slip these on for me, okay?"

 

Hange presents a pair of joint shackles, pushing them through the opening of the cell door. The other Scout currently with them, a man you've never seen before with dirty blonde hair and a pressed uniform, slips the key into the lock of the door and enters your the small space. You don't fight against either of them as the chains are wrapped securely around your wrists. Your brow furrows, etching with an unknown sadness as it swells inside of you. You hate being treated this way.

 

Moments pass and you're now walking through a narrow hallway, it's structure intimidating your already crumbling resolve. You feel exhausted; a tiredness that is weighing heavily over your already deteriorating disposition. You haven't been given a moment to catch your breath since this entire nightmare started. There is a new person meeting your steps at your side, his stature much larger than the other two Scouts walking with you. His hair is a similar color to Moblit's, though a bit lighter. His broad shoulders shift as he leans toward you, his nose coming close to pressing against your hair. You make a face and stiffen visibly.

 

"So, I've already introduced myself and Moblit here," Hange begins, matching the long steps in your stride. "But don't mind this one over here. This is Squad Leader Mike Zacharias."

 

You take a moment to glance at the man mentioned, your insides clenching as he  _sniffs_ you and pulls back, smiling with a satisfied nod. "He can come off as a bit strong, giving new people a thorough smell. It's just something he tends to do, but I don't think he means to come off as derisive."

 

 _I wish I understood what the hell was going on here,_ you think to yourself desperately.

 

" _Well,_ " Hange disrupts, their voice carrying a high coo. "It looks like I've just been  _ranting_ away and we're now already here."

 

You're confused, your body halting as it's being pushed forward. The entire area surrounding your has changed, the once dingy dungeon now opening up with elegant linings along the walls. Your mind spins. "Where are we, exactly?" you find yourself asking, surprised at your own lack of addressing.

 

"Oh, right! This would be the courthouse, my dear. You'd never had thought it was above all of that dark space below would you?"

 

 _I've been at the courthouse this entire time?_ You think desperately.  _How have I not noticed?_

 

"I..." you attempt to speak, but Hange abruptly stops you with a finger to your lips.

 

"I know this is all very confusing and sudden, Eren. I can't even begin to imagine what you've endured since the fall of Trost," they say softly, making your insides clench. Their words do something to you, ease a bit of frustration and tension burrowed deep within you. "But I want you to know I'm counting on you. We're  _all_ counting on you to make this right in the end. We're going to need your help, though. We're going to need you to  _trust us._ "

 

Before Hange says another word, you feel yourself being pushed through the large threshold ahead. You turn with confusion flickering within the depths of your now mixed eyes, searching for some sort of affirmation. "Wait! What am I supposed to―"

 

"Don't let us down, Eren."

 

The doors close behind you.

* * *

**Levi**

 

You're on edge the moment you see him enter the courtroom, his entire body stiff in its posture. The young shifter looks around uncertainly, his eyes scanning the vast amount of people sitting on either side of the room. You can  _feel_ his apprehension; you can  _feel_ his fear. Your instincts bellow inside of you to run to him but you squash them down, keeping an indifferent gaze upon the brunet.

 

You stand in attention next to Erwin, as well as several other commanding officers. Hange steps into a different portion of the chamber, Moblit at their side as they bring their hands to clasp behind their back. Most of which were present for the taking back of Trost, each of their faces lined with exhaustion and weariness. A few other faces in the crowd catch your eyes immediately; two of them being Mikasa and Armin, Eren's closest friends. While you've managed to pick apart bits and pieces of the memories from the horrific events that led to the recapturing of your land, you only catch small snippets that involve these two. Including meeting them for the first time the very moment you see Eren with your own eyes.

 

So why were they here?

 

Eren is escorted, albeit roughly, to the center of the courtroom. There is a solid, metal bar planted in the floor that stands tall with the intent of keeping the shifter in place. Two of the guards move his shackles and place his hands behind his lithe body, maneuvering the young cadet to his knees while securing that he is locked in place. Your eyes narrow, a dangerous protectiveness rising in your chest. It takes everything in you not to fly across the room and break the guard's hands. How dare they handle the boy like that? Even if the logical part of your mind understands, your instincts do not. Oh, this fucking bond. 

 

When Darius Zackly finally appears from behind closed doors, he seems somber and tired. His wrinkles are more pronounced than you remember, his gray hair beginning to thin. You can understand, seeing the situation that surrounds this entire ordeal is unlike anything any of you have experienced before. He sighs softly, taking his seat at the head of the wooden podium above the rest of the room. His eyes scan wearily, but sharply.

 

"Let's begin," he starts, rolling up his sleeve while adjusted his glasses. "For the record, could you please state your name?"

 

Eren clears his throat nervously. "Eren Yeager, sir."

 

"Once we hear from both sides of the present argument, you will not be permitted to speak. Is that understood?"

 

"Yes, sir."

 

"Very good. Now," Zackly turns his head, his eyes narrowing in on Nile Dok. You feel a snarl curl at your lips at the sight of the man. His place was within high command of the Military Police, but you also saw him as nothing more than a coward. "We'll hear from the Military Police first."

 

You hardly listen, even though you know you should. Your eyes are solely trained on Eren. His body is tense, his eyes wide with both trepidation and fear. Through the unknown links of your bond, you could make out a few words that are whispering like bits of the wisp. 

 

**_What are they going to do to me? Why are they all looking at me like I'm... a monster? Am I? Is that what I've become?_ **

 

You're so lost in the vague sound of his voice inside of your head; you don't register Erwin being addressed until his voice cuts through your thoughts.

 

"Although we're unaware of the extent to Cadet Eren Yeager's abilities, we'd like to harness them for the retaking of Wall Maria. We, as the Survey Corps, plan to work closely with him until he is in complete control of his newfound titan form. It would be a grave mistake to waste the potential this presents."

 

You're satisfied with Erwin's response, and you can  _feel_ Eren relax slightly at the commander's words.

 

Nile's voice grates on your nerves as he offers his rebuttal. "While Cadet Eren Yeager  _did_ contribute to the reclaiming of Wall Rose, there are several factors that are being overlooked. One, for example, is reported that Eren Yeager did  _not_ have full control of his titan form. Shortly after transforming, he attacked a fellow cadet, Mikasa Ackerman, and then became incapacitated."

 

You hear Mikasa growl low in her throat, her eyes turning abruptly to the woman standing next to her. You recognize her briefly from the Garrison Division, Team Leader Rico Brzenska. "Did you want me to lie in the report?" the woman hisses in question. "Doing that could have potentially caused disaster for us all. This isn't about your  _personal feelings,_ cadet."

 

You hate to agree with her, but she's right. Mikasa doesn't let up on her threatening posture, and you're surprised she hasn't strangled the senior officer yet.

 

"Is Mikasa Ackerman present?" Zackly inquires.

 

"Yes, sir," the raven-haired girl says. "That would be me."

 

"Is it true, that in the midsts of the operation, Eren Yeager attacked you?"

 

You stiffen as she hesitates to reply. There can be no hesitation, whether it could cause them to win or lose this. It could be the downfall of this entire proceeding.

 

"...That is correct, sir. But it should _also_ be known that Eren saved both me and our friend Armin, shielding us from cannon fire. He also allowed us and several others safe passage when we were trapped inside of Trost without gas. I _implore you_ to take this into consideration as well, sir."

 

Nile sighs, sifting through the papers in his hand. "We'd like to point out that Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlert have a strong, personal connection to Eren Yeager. Therefore, their testimonies should be considered an immediate conflict of interest. The three of them grew up together."

 

You bite the inside of your cheek.

 

Zackly sighs at this as well, and you can practically feel how exhausting this was. 

 

"In shortest terms, we feel that the Military Police would be the best option for Eren. He'll always pose a risk to the remaining territories. We're aware of the role he played during the retaking of Trost, but he still holds a great threat against humanity. We'd like to examine him before considering him a fallen hero for the cause."

 

Eren panics, shifting against the chains binding him. Your eyes remain impassive, but your  _heart_ is hammering inside of your chest. Erwin's gaze slides to yours, his eyes unreadable. He knows you're silently suffering as your soulmates fate is hanging in the balance and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it without being court-martialed. Erwin places a hand on your shoulder in warning when he feels you're attempting to step forward.

 

"Let the record  _also show_ that Eren Yeager has quite a violent past, which includes Mikasa Ackerman. At the tender age of nine, the two of them stabbed three kidnappers to death. While this was done in self-defense, one can only imagine the destructive tendencies this could bring about in the form of a  _titan._ So ask yourselves this; should we invest our time, money, and human resources for someone who  _may_ or  _may not_ have complete control and exceptionally bring doom right to our doorsteps?"

 

Eren's resolve is slowly slipping, not only do you feel it but you can see it. You're still unfamiliar with the link between the two of you and what it represents, but you try to reach through it subconsciously. Uttering words of assurance, begging him to maintain his composure.

 

He doesn't. Either that or your voice doesn't reach him this time.

 

"Maybe she's a titan too!" Someone with an ungodly voice screams from across the room, his pudgy fingers pointing right to Mikasa. Armin's face morphs into one of horror while Mikasa looks only mildly offended. You can tell her focus was on one person and one person only. Eren's pulls against his restraints, the fire in his eyes flaring to life. You can see the gold flickering inside of his gaze, and you know you're not the only one. You hope that it isn't brought into the conversation of this court. "She should be dissected, just like him!"

 

"Hold on a second!" Eren barks, his lips parting in a growl. "Maybe I'm the monster you want  _dead,_ but she has absolutely  _nothing_ to do with this!"

 

**_Eren shut the hell up!_ **

 

Of course, he does the opposite. His body is visibly shaking as he attempts to control the rage whirling inside of him. The voices inside of the room are all rising in volume, the intensity of the situation escalating more quickly than you would have anticipated. The arguing continues back and forth, Eren no longer caring if he was present in front of the very people who were deciding his fate. His turmoil was spilling over. 

 

"You're all...  _cowards_!" Eren roars. "It's fine if  _you're_ too scared to fight for your life. But, please, let me! What's the sense in having this power if we don't use it to _fight_!"

 

You're moving toward the front of the bench, Erwin's hands doing very little to stop you. 

 

"Just  _shut up and put your faith in me_!"

 

The sound of the metal rattling against the ground could be  _felt,_ wisps of steam rising from Eren's body. Your eyebrows shoot up as you observe, unsure if the boy is threatening to transform right then and there. The steam continues to waft around the young shifter, his eyes narrowing with deadly intent. When you hear Nile shout an order for his subordinate to aim, your body moves with a steady instinct.

 

The rifle clicks, the cocking sound echoing inside of the room. Eren's eyes begin to widen as he collects himself, his  _heart_ pounding just as quickly as yours. You feel every emotion, every spike of adrenaline, every horrified thought igniting inside of Eren and it shifts inside of you. You hear Erwin make a noise of confusion as you cross the room, your boots clicking until you're directly standing above your soulmate. You don't give him a moment to look up when you raise your leg, your boot crossing the skin of his cheek. 

 

Several different things happen at that moment. One, you feel a sharp pain shoot through your entire body. You ignore it, swallowing thickly while keeping your eyes on the brunet. Secondly, you hear a small clatter as a tooth from Eren's mouth skits across the room. Blood pours from the side of his mouth, his eyes clenched before they open to gaze up at you. You feel sick with the way his eyes look at you.

 

He looks at you with confusion and betrayal, even more so when you reach and push your hand into his hair. He lets out a startled, sharp breath as you  _tug_ at the strands of it. You pull his face further from the metal sticking from the floor and rear it back, slamming your knee up to solidly connect with his jaw. He cries out and your stomach clenches, but you do not stop. If you don't intervene, Nile will order Eren to be struck down. 

 

And you just cannot allow that.

 

"Personally..." you start, gaining most of the attention in the room. "I think nothing instills discipline more than  _pain._ You don't need a good talking to. What you're in need of is to be taught a lesson."

 

The room falls into a ghostly silence, mouths hanging open while nobody  _dared_ to move. You continue to inflict the blows across Eren's unblemished skin, relentless to cast aside the feelings of torment that are plaguing you. Your bond suffers from it, you can feel it like a tendril. Eren persistently attempts to raise his head to stare at you, but you strike him each moment he does. He stops his struggling, his body beginning to fall limp against your violent ministrations. 

 

 _I don't know how else to save you,_ you think miserably, hearing a stuttered moan escape Eren's lips. 

 

Nile clears his throat unsurely, his hand raising shakily while saying, "Levi... maybe you should stop."

 

You falter for a moment, glancing up at the man with an unreadable expression. "Why's that?"

 

Nile's lips press into a thin line. "It's  _dangerous._ "

 

Eren's emerald eyes glisten beautifully, especially with the gold present. He raises his eyes daringly to you, and you can see just how  _hurt_ he is. He may not understand it now, but you're doing this to keep the brat alive. So you take his expression for what it is and swiftly bring your boot to collide with his stomach. He groans unsteadily, his body slumping from the onslaught of pain he's received. You turn your eyes back to Nile and chuckle bitterly.

 

"Don't be ridiculous. In this form, I can kill him without any issues. Especially given the position he's in right now."

 

You reach and drag Eren's head up, inwardly wincing at the bruises and blood that littered against his skin. He's gasping for air, trying several times to open his eyes but failing to. He suddenly appears exhausted.

 

"How many of you can say the same?" Your voice rises, daring anybody to answer. You're not surprised when you don't receive any. "In his titan form, Eren was able to take down over twenty titans before he ran out of strength. So the question is still the same; can any of you  _actually_ kill him?"

 

Erwin uses this as his chance to intervene, and for that, you're grateful. "Sir, I have a proposition."

 

"Proceed," Zackly encourages.

 

"We'll place Eren Yeager under Captain Levi's supervision. He will personally train and keep his eyes on him at all times until we see he is fit for the future expeditions. There isn't any other person I could find more suitable for this role."

 

"And you're sure you can control him?" Zackly asks, his question directed at you.

 

"I can take him down without any problem if that's what you're asking. But, I will warn you that there is  _absolutely_ no middle ground should he decide to go rogue."

 

The older man looks as if he's running several different cases through his mind, his face leaning into his hands as he ponders the words that are spoken. After several long, ticking seconds, you feel an immense rush of relief wash through you. You don't show this with your body language, but your eyes do shift to Eren's.

 

"Then, I have made my decision."

* * *

"For the love of the Walls, Levi. Did you  _really_ have to take it this far?" Hange cries out, crossing the small room quickly with medical tape and some ointment. They kneel in front of Eren, who appears utterly spent and more than likely traumatized. You won't blame him if he never decides to look you way again. He's completely shut himself off to you, not bothering to seek you out after court lets out. 

 

"It was necessary," you explain vaguely, leaning your back against the wall on the opposite end. You're directly in Eren's line of sight, who keeps his eyes on the floor. 

 

"Still," Hange sighs, reaching to gingerly take the side of Eren's face and tilt it slightly. "You knocked his damn tooth out. See?"

 

"Disgusting," you comment, watching as Hange opens a handkerchief to reveal the very tooth that had flown out of Eren's mouth.

 

"It's fine, really," Eren speaks for the first time since you've arrived. Erwin, Hange, and Mike are there first to assess the damage of your brutal assault because even though a larger part of you know's what you did clearly save Eren's life; you feel sick to your stomach. You feel every scratch, bruise, and indentation reflecting on your soul and it  _hurts._ You cross your arms and examine Eren ask he continues. "It's not hurting as much anymore."

 

Mike is gazing silently out of the window, not offering any sort of words for the situation. Erwin does, however, stroll toward Eren and Hange steps aside. He kneels in front of Eren as well, offering a warm smile. "I'd like to thank you for putting your trust in us, Eren. I know that you've been through so much since your capture, but by allowing Levi to... demonstrate his ability to contain you, we were able to pull you out of reach from the Military Police. You've done nothing but cooperate, and I'd like to personally welcome you as a member of the Survey Corps."

 

Eren straightens up at that, noticing Erwin extending his hand to him. Eren accepts it clumsily, wincing in pain as he moves too fast. "Thank you, sir!"

 

Your soulmate stiffens when you sit down next to him, your head turning shortly to the side as you ask, "You don't resent me now, do you, Eren?"

 

"No!" he rushes out, too quickly. Knowing eyes turn to where you two are sitting. "I mean... I understand what you did was completely necessary."

 

**_Even if you appeared cold while doing it._ **

 

Your eyes widen, Eren's words ringing so clear inside of your head. You're wondering if you've imagined it or not. You lick your dry lips, nodding with acceptance.  ** _That's fair._**

 

You're confused when Erwin nods his head toward the door, indicating for both Hange and Mike to follow him outside. Once you and Eren are left alone, he turns to you with uncertainty whirling in his eyes. "I just heard you," he states.

 

You nod again, unsurprised. "I heard you, too. I know you think I'm callous for manhandling you the way I did, but I couldn't think of any other way to stop them from shooting you. I hoped you'd understand that."

 

"I do... sir," he begins, resting his bruised hands against his lap. You want to reach over and take them into your own. "I was angry at first... wondering how you could do such a thing to your own soulmate."

 

"It wasn't easy," you insist, your voice firm. "I didn't get some sort of sick fucking enjoyment doing that to you. I felt physical pain through our bond. I'm learning as I go, the same as you. So meet me halfway here."

 

Shock crosses Eren's face and you sigh, running a tired hand through your hair. "You and I are off to a great start, aren't we? This is such a damn mess."

 

His shoulders sag at your admission, his hands gripping the fabric of his pants. "I think we've known from the very beginning this was different, somehow. The memories, the way we can talk through our bond, everything. I don't blame you and I should be thankful that I'm under your watch and not someone else's."

 

Your scowl in distaste at the thought. "I wouldn't  _let_ someone else be in charge of you."

 

Eren smiles softly, though he tries to turn his head to hide it. When he shifts, you can see some of the deeper marks on the left side of his cheek. You let out a huff and reach for the cloth along the couch you're both sitting on. You raise it to Eren's face, dipping your hand beneath his chin while instructing, "Turn your head."

 

He looks to you with astonishment and his eyes are so focused on yours. You wipe the blood that has dried, being as cautious and gentle as you possibly can. He remains still but you feel that array of emotions just through his expressive gaze. "I'm sorry," you find yourself murmuring. "I know this isn't what you imagined... and maybe one day, we can really try. But right now Eren, our main focus is on your abilities and the future of what little people we have left. I'll be there to guide you as best as I can, but you're going to have to  _let me_ without your feelings getting in the way. I'm going to have to do the same."

 

"So you're telling me... that you  _do_ feel something?"

 

"As confusing as all of this is, you shouldn't be surprised that I do. I've watched you since you were eight. I was eighteen. In actuality, I never expected to have a soulmate. I called bullshit on it and yet, here you are."

 

His eyes downcast, fluttering to a close as you rub one particular spot above his temple. "Thank you for telling me that, sir."

 

"You deserve to know and I'll be honest as I'm able to. But, remember what I said. We  _cannot_ allow whatever this is to interfere with our duties. There are going to be days you'll probably  _hate me._ If that's the case, that means I'm doing my job as your commanding officer. We'll also work with Hange and see what else we can find out about this bond."

 

"But... we can try? One day?"

 

Your heart clenches at how fucking  _hopeful_ he sounds. You sigh, despite yourself and let your hand fall to his. You grasp it and feel your entire body ignite to life at the heat of his skin again yours. "One day," you echo. "But that time isn't now, you understand?"

 

He nods, lifting a hesitant hand to rub his thumb over yours. "Yes, sir."

 

You don't release his hand for several minutes, allowing both of you to take each other in. You are not sure when you'll have another opportunity to talk things over like this with the small amount of privacy you have. You have a squad of your own to train and manage, as well as duties that revolve around Erwin and Hange. But, as long as you know Eren is within your reach, that is enough for now. So you let yourself enjoy this small moment of Eren's hand in yours; strong and for the first time, sure.


	12. Furious Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you all so, so much for your positive feedback. I enjoy hearing from each and every one of you! This chapter will be a much-needed breather from all of the angst I've made you endure these last few chapters. There will also be, dare I say, funny bits and... romance? Because Eren is awkward and Levi is Levi.

 

* * *

_Then you opened up my eyes_  
_And you helped me rediscover_  
_With what you resurrected_  
_A man who had died_  
_Your power regave me new life_  
_Made me reborn and refined_  
_Rebuilt from inside and we both know why_  
_Because you're mine_

 

* * *

**Eren**

 

 

The weeks pass so quickly, and it makes your head spin. Your body is exhausted from overexertion, training day upon day without fail. The first few days of training within Levi's squad is as taxing and strenuous as the raven said it would be. Your body, falling into the disruptive pattern of attempting to transform, again and again, collapses every night you're escorted back to your designated spot below ground. You're sore in places you didn't even realize existed, feeling strain and tension in areas you shouldn't. 

 

Shortly after the trial, Levi took it upon himself to ensure the placement you'd receive in his squad. Each day, you are under his watchful eye. He doesn't give you a moment to settle as you are thrust into the daily drills, routines, and... 

 

...Cleaning.

 

You wipe your brow and sigh, turning your head briefly to ensure you're alone. You throw the dirty rag in your hands into a nearby bucket and sit on the stone floor. The ground under you is uncomfortable, but you can't find it in you to care. While the experiments are more geared toward your shifting abilities, Hange has also attempted to assist with your bond with Levi. Day in and day out, it was always the same. The few times you were able to speak to Levi through the links of your bond, it had been accidental at best. Both of you fail miserably at trying to communicate yet again under different circumstances.

 

You begin to believe it's impossible and it dampens your hopes quite a bit.

 

You try not to let your disappointment show and the last thing you want to do it let the captain down, both as your superior and your soulmate. It's easier said than done, however.

 

"Don't look so discouraged, Eren," a voice says softly from behind you. You stand abruptly, reaching for the rag inside of the bucket and try to make yourself look busy. When you notice it's only Petra, you let your shoulders sag slightly. "Why do you look so down? You're normally in better spirits then this."

 

"Well..." you begin, rubbing the back of your neck. Levi's squad, aside from Erwin Smith and Hange Zoe, does not know of you and Levi's bond. So you do your best to remember that. "I guess I'm upset about my lack of ability to transform lately... that and being put on house-sitting duty wasn't exactly how I envisioned my time in the Scouts."

 

Petra chuckled, shaking her head while grasping the broom in her hands close. "I know it seems a bit silly now, but there's always a method to the captain's madness. Just be patient. Besides, you've needed a break. Every day you've been out there training, and even Captain Levi understands that a human being has their limits."

 

 _A human being, huh_ _?_ You wonder acidly, but instead, you smile without conviction. "I suppose you're right. I'll try not to let it weigh me down from my duties. Speaking of which, does the captain always―"

 

"―make us clean from top to bottom? Oh, you bet. He's even―"

 

The hairs on the back of your neck raise, and you can  _feel_ Levi's presence as his footsteps sound in the hallway. You'll never get used to how quickly you can sense him whenever he's near. 

 

"What are the two of you going on about?" the raven asks, a dusting scarf wrapped around his head and the straps of his uniform loosened just so. "Last time I checked, Petra was supposed to be  _downstairs_ and Eren," he turns sharply to you. "Didn't I ask you to take care of the upstairs?"

 

"You did, sir," you respond hesitantly, unsure of why Levi appears so perturbed. "I finished with it about thirty minutes ago."

 

"You call that  _finished_?" he asks, incredulously. "It's piss-poor at best. I want to see you go over it again."

 

Your eyes downcast a bit. "Yes, sir."

 

"And one more thing," Levi says, causing your eyes to rise. You realize Petra has already scurried out of the room, leaving you and your soulmate alone. "When everyone is asleep, you'll be meeting Hange and me in the basement tonight. I'll send someone for you."

 

You arch a brow, but find yourself nodding. "Ah... understood, sir."

 

He leaves without uttering another word, leaving you standing there with a dumbfounded expression on your face.

* * *

True to his word, Levi does send someone to fetch your around eleven o'clock. The cellar is dark, only a few torches illuminating the space around you. You're sitting on your bed, dressed now on your night clothes. You kill a bit of time with an old deck of cards, although you're not confident on how to play with them. You hear footsteps and glance up to see Gunther unlocking the door to the cellar and urging you to follow him.

 

You smile softly and nod, your bare feet padding on the floor as both of you ascend to the second floor and back down a separate flight of stairs. The castle was filled with emptiness and uncleanliness when you first gaze upon it but now, with unwavering diligence from Levi; it is habitable and almost warm. You don't feel the stone closing in on your like you had to first night you arrived, and you've relaxed a bit. Gunther pats you on the back with a grin and a nod when the two of you arrive at the basement door. 

 

"Night, kid. Try not to work yourself into a coma."

 

"Yes, sir," you say and bid him goodnight. 

 

 You enter the basement and find only Levi and Hange waiting for you, as expected. Hange is still dressed in their uniform while Levi is sitting in nightclothes of his own. You're taken aback, only seeing him appear so casual in the mirror. There are no mirrors in the cellar, so you haven't been given the opportunity to keep up with Levi's appearance.

 

He's wearing a tight-fitting dark sleeved shirt and loose pants. You swallow, your eyes drifting to the dips of his bare neck and the firm muscle beneath his shirt. 

 

Levi notices you rather quickly. "Oi. What're are you staring at? Come and sit already."

 

You sputter but nod, fighting down the creeping blush threatening to cover your cheeks. You take a seat across from Levi, keeping your eyes glued to the table. You fidget without realizing it.

 

"Aw, Levi! You can be a little nicer to your soulmate since you're alone with him! Cut the crap already," Hange sighs, shaking their head. They take a seat between you and Levi with a smile. "So, any changes I should know about?"

 

"No," Levi answers before you can, folding his arms over his chest. "We haven't communicated through our bond since the day of the hearing."

 

"I see..." Hange is taking notes. "And you, Eren? Any changes? Hearing Levi? Sensing him differently?"

 

"I can sense him... but I've been able to do that since the beginning. I'm not sure how we were able to talk to each other, to begin with."

 

"So in other words, we need to figure out what's hindering the two of you from communicating mentally. It's obvious you can."

 

"Maybe... I mean, could it be my shifting ability?"

 

"I doubt it," Levi interjects. "You've been able to transform for almost two months now, and I was able to hear you the day Trost was attacked. It wouldn't make sense that it would start doing that now. Something else is getting in the way."

 

"Or there's something you haven't  _been_ doing," Hange taps their finger against their chin in thought. "During the original times you communicated, you were both in grave danger of losing your lives. So we can say that in times of crisis, you'll be able to speak to one another."

 

You frown at the memory. "That's right... and I heard Levi clearly when I was almost killed during the tribune. After as well."

 

"What were the two of you doing during that time?"

 

"We were sitting next to each other, that was it," Levi explains, reaching and grasping the top of his teacup to bring it to his lips.

 

"And if you were to try now...?" Hange inquires.

 

Levi sighs but looks directly at you, leaning across the table as he does. He's staring intently at you, and you feel scrutinized under his sharp gaze. After a few minutes, the raven asks, "Well?"

 

"Well what, sir?"

 

"It's useless," Levi leans back into his chair again. "Maybe it was just a one-time thing."

 

"Oh, I doubt it was. You've both done it countless times. You mentioned being close to each other the last time. Perhaps... wait," Hange murmurs, and then their eyes widen with excitement. "I have an idea! Maybe the two of you should be  _closer._ "

 

"Unless you want me lying on top of him, I don't know how much closer I can get," Levi deadpans, causing you to blush.

 

"Have the two of you...?" Hange hesitates in asking, their eyes drifting between you and Levi.

 

"Have we  _what_?" 

 

"Been... you know, physical?"

 

It was rare to see Levi taken off guard, but his eyes widen, and his mouth opens in disbelief. "Are you fucking  _shitting me_? He's fifteen years old!"

 

"Almost sixteen.  _And_ he's your bloody  _soulmate_! A  _pure_ soulmate!"

 

You watch the two of them go back and forth and all the while, you're slipping further down into your seat. Your entire body feels like it's on fire from the amount of heat it's producing.  _I don't know if I can stand to be in the room with this conversation going on. I mean, I know I'm attracted to Levi, but I haven't thought of... dammit, not that far at least. Oh, God, what if he hears me?_

 

You stop thinking altogether, terrified that at the wrong moment, Levi will be able to hear. 

 

"Enough!" Levi finally says, and he sounds exhausted. "Get out."

 

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that! We're trying to figure out how your bond  _works,_ you shrimp!"

 

"And if I'm going to do anything remotely close to  _physical_ with him, you will  _not_ be in the room for it. So, get out."

 

The gears in your head turn, and Hange appears surprised, their eyebrows nearly disappearing into their hairline. Before they can say anything else, you watch Levi quickly shove them out of the room. He slams the door and locks it, leaning his back against it with his eyes closed. You watch him unsurely, confused on what to do or say. "Um... sir? Should I leave? Maybe that's enough for tonight. I'm sorry I can't figure this out, but maybe we can try again tomorrow―"

 

"It's just as much my fault as it is yours," he replies, his tone much softer than it had been before. He opens his eyes and glances over to you. "We both have absolutely no idea what we're doing. If we try again tomorrow, it'll prove just as useless as it is now."

 

"So... when Hange mentioned  _physical..._ "

 

"I'm sure you can come up in that head of yours what that entails," he replies vaguely. "But, that isn't something we have to do. If you want to keep trying the way we have been, I'm fine with it. I just have a feeling it won't change anything. I won't do anything unless you're completely amendable."

 

"And if I am? Amendable, I mean?"

 

Levi looks as though he's considering this, though his expression is dull. "Eren," he starts. "You need to understand what this means."

 

"Of course, I understand what this means," you say, almost exasperated. "Captain... Levi," his name slips off your tongue carefully. "I'm prepared to test this bond. It's obvious how uncommon and rare it is. With my...  _condition_ ," you stress. "...maybe, in the long run, it'll prove useful."

 

He nods, pushing himself off the door he's locked and walking towards you. His eyes, glowing with a deepening aura of cerulean, pin you in place. "Right. Then we'll take it slow. Just... sit back for a second."

 

You do as he says, sitting back in your seat. You gaze up at him with wide eyes as he crowds your space. "Relax... we're not doing anything that we'll both be uncomfortable with. We'll take it slow. As slow as we're able."

 

"What did you have in mind?" you find yourself asking, silently wanting to kick yourself in the ass.

 

 "Something basic. I'm sure you've overheard your squadmates plenty of times. You're a teenager, after all. We'll test the limits with something simple first. Hange  _may_ be correct. They're also a certified fucking nutcase."

 

You chuckle, your eyes never leaving Levi's. He moves closer now, your instincts screaming for you to lean forward. You refrain and shut out the world around you. Instead, you focus on him. You focus on the dips of his body, the depth of his voice, and the command in his eyes. You shudder inside, forcing yourself to relax in your chair as he leans more toward you.

 

"I..." he starts. He licks his lips, the light cascading on his pale features. "I need you to be absolutely still, alright?"

 

You nod without breaking contact. 

 

His hair brushes against his forehead and cheekbone, such a graphic difference against the lightness of his skin. He places his hands against either side of your chair, now invading everything personally. Your breathing is shallow, your heart thrumming almost violently inside of your chest. You feel sweat collect in your palms and down the sides of your neck, but you remind yourself who it is that is moving near. 

 

" _Be still,_ " he reminds you, drawing closer. He's moving with such delicate caution, the smell of him now creeping into your senses. Your eyes shift a bit as you notice his shirt begin to drop and reveal the definitive curve of his collarbones. You swallow heavily again, unsure of why those thoughts are storming your mind at that moment. Slowly, your gaze raises to meet his just as his face tilts to the side slightly. Your hands clench into fists and your eyes instinctively close as his breath fans across your face.

 

You feel the faintest hint of pressure against your lips, and your entire body nearly jolts in your seat. Though your eyes are closed, vivid images are cascading across your vision. The feeling of Levi's lips against your own is utterly surreal and wonderous. You're tempted to reach up and thread your fingers into his hair just to store the sensation of what it'd feel like. Instead, you continue to keep your hands against the arms of the chair and remain perfectly still. You feel as though your entire body is now amplified; stimulating your bond and opening up the gates of it inside of your soul. 

 

Not only do you feel Levi against you, but you can  _feel_ his own wonderment and awe. He massages his lips against yours with such tenderness that it nearly makes your eyes water. You push against him gently, not wanting to disrupt the limits of what he's ordered. You can't seem to stop yourself as the floodgates continue to break and the very essence of your being is awakening just at his touch.

 

You wonder how you've managed to make it this far without him by your side. All you want is to surround yourself with him for the rest of your life. You let the titan shifting, the military, the Titans pushing against the walls slip from your mind and solely focus on the stunning man in front of you. Memories surge, voices blend together within those impressions and it allows you a moment of remarkable tranquility in each others presence.

 

Sooner than you'd like, Levi begins to pull away from you. You whimper in disappointment and open your eyes slowly. His eyes have never appeared so unguarded before; the azure is flaring to life in the irises. He only pulls back far enough to catch your gaze. His eyes flicker back and forth, and he licks his lips.

 

 ** _Did it work?_**  

 

You can't help yourself; you smile earnestly.  ** _I think so._**

 

His hands caress your arms, and he sighs.  ** _I can't believe that fucking idiot was right. I'll never hear the end of it._**

 

You laugh, and your eyes downcast a bit. "So..." you ask aloud. "Did you feel it all too? See the different memories? Feel the bond respond?"

 

"I felt the bond and saw the images briefly. Other than that, I was more focused on you than anything."

 

You flush at his words, daring to meet his eyes.  ** _So, it was okay? Will we... do this again?_**

 

He considers your words for a few moments before leaning down again, lightly brushing his lips against yours. You sigh happily, meeting his advances without hesitation this time. He doesn't say anything else, aloud or within your bond. Instead, he speaks through the extraordinary tracing of his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, snap. They kissed. For science. *Coughs*


	13. Vertigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find it difficult after those previous moments together to stay away from him for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my lovely readers, it finally happened. They kissed! This chapter explores their bond a bit more and also starts rolling with the events/plot of the manga/anime. So let's just get right into it. As always, I love all of you and I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support for this story. Thank you! :)

* * *

_I can't get these memories out of my mind_  
_And some kind of madness has started to evolve_  
_I tried so hard to let you go_  
_But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole_

* * *

 

**Levi**

 

 

You can't help yourself.

 

Not when his lips taste like the ripest fruit. Not when his eyes glimmer like they belong in the sky. Not when his body presses so exquisitely into yours as if he was made just for you. Who the hell are you kidding?  _He is yours._ And you are his. In every sense of the word. He held your heart in his hands at the age of eight years old and now, you can't remember how your life began before he entered into it like a maelstrom.

 

You try so hard to fight it, but something else inside of you is insisting. Insisting is a light term. It's a hopeless  _pull._ You let yourself get torn away but it and let go for once in your life. There is a storm brewing inside of you, and it's roaring thunder within your soul. It's the moments where you're alone with him in your study, allowing yourself to be mesmerized by the heat of his kiss. It's the moments his hands, though they are so unsure, are strong as they map out the contours of your body. It's the small noises of appreciation he makes when you lightly drag your tongue along his, seeking purchase before you fall to pieces.

 

But you never allow it to go farther than that.

 

The bond responds fervently to your advances. Images and memories are crashing through the links of it like the cracking of lightning. You can't decipher what they are or when they take place, but they are overwhelming. You silently wonder what would happen if the two of you were to take things farther. Each time you take a step forward with Eren, you find the intensity of those memories become more frequent and severe. Words begin to exchange without hassle between the two of you.

 

"Eren," you murmur against his lips one night. His breath stimulates you in the most intoxicating way as he pulls back and gazes at you. The depth of his eyes is similar to endless pools of sunlit water. "It's getting late. It'll be obvious what we're doing if we keep this up."

 

He licks his lips, and you nearly groan at the sight. Fuck, when did you lack such self-control? His lips are the purest color of roses. "You're right. I'm sorry, sir."

 

"I'm just as much at fault," you say, reaching up to card your fingers through his hair. You sigh. "I can't seem to maintain any control when I'm around you."

 

He smiles ruefully. "Do you think it's the bond?"

 

"I think it's more than just that," you admit. You hand leaves his hair and traces the sides of his face and then, his lips. "Being around Hange, I'm learning more about the extents of a soulmates bond in general. Ours is a far stretch from the usual. Since the very first time I've kissed you, it's been hard to stay away from you. I have a feeling it's going to prove to be a challenge in the future."

 

"So...?" he asks, his hands boldly splaying against your hips. 

 

"Do I need to spell it out for you? You're not that oblivious." You grip his chin and drag him down once more. It's a simple, chaste kiss that spoke more volumes than any words could. He makes a small noise and closes his eyes as his hands grip your trousers tighter. You pull back and remove his hands. "We need to keep a slow and steady pace. If we move too fast, we'll bury ourselves. We also have more  _important_ matters to deal with."

 

He rubs the back of his neck. "I'm getting more in tune with my shifting. I'm hoping by the time we prepare for the expedition; I'll be ready."

 

"You will be," you tell him softly. He smiles softly, and you kiss him once more. "Go. It's late. Do you need me to escort you or can I trust you to lock up when you're downstairs?"

 

"You know you can trust me," he concedes with a brighter smile. He steps back with much reluctance but bows his head, turning away and leaving your study. You watch him go. You lean against your desk with a drawn-out breath while running a hand through your hair. You turn to look in the mirror to gather your physical appearance but only see a youthful face gazing back at you.

 

**_Goodnight, sir._ **

 

Your lips twitch upward momentarily before you go back to your task of sorting documents.

 

**_Night, brat._ **

* * *

**Eren**

 

 

Wake up. Shower in less than three minutes. Dress in your proper gear. Train with Levi's squad. Shifting practice. Eat. Clean. Shower again, as per the Captain's request. Brainstorm with Hange for an hour or so on both your titan abilities and your bond. Get kissed senseless in Levi's study. Sleep.

 

You find it hard to complain, even when your entire body is aching. It's an ache that reminds you you're alive. That you're here in the present by Levi's side. As surreal as the awakening of those words is, you smile despite yourself. You smile into the mirror, using a rag to drag the remnants of water from your face. Although your image is hazy, at least you still are greeted by a handsome face. You flush at the memory of the night before, a pleasant heat spreading throughout your body. You think of the way Levi's lips slip into yours and the sweet taste of intoxication that followed.  _God,_ it was enough to send a tingle up your spine.

 

Your eyes are the brightest they've ever been.

 

You reach for your casual nightwear, happy to be done for the remainder of the evening. You're looking forward to spending a little time with your mate even though it was usually limited. Your relationship and bond are kept under wraps for the sake of your positions, and you completely understand that. You would never do anything to jeopardize Levi's rank. Still... you long for a day where the two of you can be open about your bond. Where the titans are reduced to nothing, and you can live the life you crave and deserve with him by your side.

 

You envision it because a part of you knows that until the titans are still roaming the world, it will never come true.

 

You finish dressing and pass Eld and Gunther on your way. You smile hesitantly and wave, their eyes watching you as you go. Sometimes you ask yourself if they can see through you; that they just  _know_ what's going on inside of your mind. 

 

**_You get lost, or what?_ **

 

You nearly walk into the closest wall, tripping over your feet while gasping. You're still not used to the link you share.

 

**_On my way!_ **

 

 _Dammit,_ you think to yourself. You walk through the long corridors of the castle and manage to sneak into Levi's study without being seen. As soon as you close the door, you feel your weight press against it. Your back scraps against the wood and you let out a noise of longing against the soft lips currently pressing into yours. One of your hands reach to tangle into Levi's hair, and although he's still in uniform, you dare to sneak the other hand beneath his shirt. He immediately tenses and pulls back from you. You blink your eyes open, the intense rush still thrumming in your blood.

 

"Shit," Levi hisses, pressing his forehead against your shoulder. "I don't know what possessed me to do that. I didn't mean to attack you like an animal."

 

You want to snort. Instead, you chuckle. "You won't see me complaining, you know."

 

"Of course you wouldn't, you horny bastard."

 

You can feel his lips curve as you laugh earnestly, his head rising to meet your gaze. You say through the link; **_You're the one who just pushed me against the wall. I'd say we're both equally in the same mindset._**

 

He scoffs and steps back a bit. "This stays between the two of us. I don't need Hange crawling up my ass in need of explanations. Our..." He struggles with the word. " _Activities_ stay private unless it's an immediate danger or issue."

 

"Aren't the memories and flashbacks a problem?"

 

"We've brought that to their attention already. So, we'll just deal with it. I didn't bring you here just to kiss the living daylights out of you, we've got business to discuss."

 

You want to say something smart, but you refrain by the seriousness of Levi's gaze. You nod and follow him to sit on the couch along the far wall. "The expedition is next month. I'm going to need to extend your training hours even though I know you're exhausted. I'll see to it personally as well. I won't let Erwin send you out there before you're ready."

 

"You sounded confident in my abilities last night. What's changed?" you ask him, noticing his eyes averting from yours. That was unusual. You lean forward to get a better look at him, daring to invade his space. "Hey... why won't you look at me? Did I do something wrong or insufficient today? I don't mind the extra hours, you know that, sir."

 

"You don't need to call me  _sir_ when we're alone. It isn't that  _I don't_ think you're ready, but you haven't seen what's out there yet. And before you open your mouth, I remember the shit you've been through already."

 

You snap your mouth to a close, your eyes narrowing slowly. "I'm not following. You're talking in circles."

 

This wasn't like Levi whatsoever, and your expression of annoyance slowly transforms into one of wonder. "Are you... worried about me?"

 

"Of  _course_ I'm worried about you." He looks at you incredulously. "Fuck, Eren. What do you think, all of those years I watched you grow up I didn't develop some sort of attachment to you? Give me so damn credit. I can hardly stand to be away from you as it is, but out there? I have to lead my comrades while ensuring my soulmate doesn't die. I've never had to worry about that before. This bond, as well as me,  _cannot_ entertain the thought of something killing you. Do you know how hard it was to watch the events that led you here today?"

 

You're stunned, your bright eyes widening. You weren't expecting this. It's as if Levi is doing everything in his power to  _fight_ these feelings but he just can't. Your heart feels it could burst. Without thinking, you reach for his hand and bring it to your lips.

 

"Nothing will happen to me," you murmur against his hand. "If you're with me, I know I'll be alright. I've trained with your squad, and I know how they operate as a team now. Don't you think I also worry about something happening to you? I trust you, Levi. More than I trust anybody because  _I know_ what you're feeling, even if you can't find the words to explain it. So please... trust me as well."

 

His ordinarily indifferent expression is clouded with a touch of uncertainty. You kiss his hand and allow it to cup the side of your face, drawing you in and slotting his lips against yours. Your entire being is filled with so much affection that you feel it'll spill over. The kiss is a stark difference than the one earlier, and as Levi pulls back, he says, "Stay with me tonight."

 

Your eyes widen immediately, and he sighs. "To  _sleep._ "

 

"Oh," you reply lamely. "Won't someone... well, notice?"

 

"I'll have you back in the cellar before dawn. You know I don't sleep much as it is."

 

You can't bring yourself to deny his invitation. You smile softly and nod. He rubs his thumb over your cheek and murmurs, "Just because we're taking our time with  _that_ does  _not_ mean I won't continue to kiss those lips of yours."

 

You let him take control, sealing your mouth once more. You allow yourself a small moment to make everything around you melt away and bask in the presence of your mate, assuring him through your touches that everything would be alright.

* * *

**Levi**

 

A loud knocking rouses you, causing you to lift your head and instantly groan. Your neck is stiff from the unusual angle you fell asleep in with Eren resting against your side. You glance up and realize that the sun is rising outside. You jostle Eren awake, and the younger man blinks his bleary eyes. They widen in horror when the knocking persists outside of the study. You hadn't meant to fall asleep here, and you certainly hadn't expected for Eren to stay as long as he had. You won't deny that the proximity may have contributed to your falling asleep this time around. It was something to consider but now wasn't the time.

 

"Shit," Eren curses, hopping up from the couch and glancing around hastily. "What should we do?"

 

"I'm not about to shove you into a closet, so we'll just bear with it. Try not to look like you're about to shit yourself," you remind him and walk toward the door. When you open it, you reveal Hange's soulmate, Moblit, standing there while wringing his hands together.

 

"Captain, I was sent to get you from the Commander. It's urgent. The titans that were captured on our last venture outside the walls... well, they've been killed, sir."

 

Your eyebrows arch questionably, and Moblit's eyes travel to see Eren standing in disbelief at what he's just heard. "Why would someone...?" he starts, but you quickly take your cape and move to throw it his way. 

 

"Cover yourself up and follow me. You," you pull for Moblit's attention. "Take us to them."

 

 _ **Levi,**_ Eren starts, and you keep your facial expressions neutral as you follow Moblit toward the stables.  _ **I don't understand what's going on. Why would someone kill them?**_

 

You respond with,  ** _Those specimens were priceless, especially to that nutjob. They were used to uncover truths and biology about the titans. The military police will be the ones investigating this, but I have a feeling Erwin has different plans. I want you to stay as close to me as possible. I don't like this one fucking bit. The timing isn't right._**

 

Eren's quiet through your link. 

 

_**I mean it, Eren. When we ride in there, don't leave my side.** _

 

Something in your stomach is turning, and it's far from a pleasant churn like the night before with Eren. This is your bond responding to a potential threat, whether your mind realizes it at that moment or not. 


	14. Clenched Jaws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a tad short than previous ones, but this still felt important to post. As I mentioned in the note for my other story, my updates may be slowing down a bit. I'm dealing with some health issues that are starting to become alarming and concerning. Nothing life-threatening, I promise. But it's interfered with my life. I'm trying to get answers and I'm finding none. But, writing is such an incredible release for me and I have SO much planned for this story. We're only just getting started, loves.
> 
> Be prepared, the next few chapters are the expeditions and we all know what happens with that. So. Much. Angst. And. Stuff. OML.
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support. It really means so much to me as a writer. I love hearing from each and every one of you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I really enjoyed writing it. I can't wait to write more Levi and Eren moments, especially as their bond progresses! :D

* * *

  _As I walk through this valley of shadows and death_  
_I curse not the wicked; I praise not the blessed_  
_If I told you the truth, you'd beg me to change_  
_If fear were a currency, you'd own the bank_

* * *

 

**Eren**

 

After the incident with the slain titans, you're kept on high guard with Levi and his squad. The only moments you have alone are when you're able to shower, and even then there is someone on the outside of the stalls waiting for you. You're uneasy, and you know Levi can sense it through your link. Still, you don't question his judgment. Instead, you continue to train and meet after hours with him as usual. You do what you can keep your mind off the slayings of the titans that had occurred only a few days prior.

 

It just doesn't make sense.

 

_**You'll go with Eld and Gunther to organize the stables today. I have to meet with Erwin to begin discussing the upcoming expedition, as well as be present for the cadets' graduation ceremony. Stay close to them, alright? Don't wander off on your own under any circumstances.** _

 

You can hear the tilt in Levi's voice, even if he's trying to hide it. You can  _feel_ his tension is if it was present in your own body. You finish dressing in your uniform that morning, looking into the reflection of Levi in the mirror.

 

**_I promise I will, sir._ **

 

You know, even though the link, there is no need for formalities. Still, it was a habit of the tongue. You don't hear anything else from Levi after that, and you finish your current task before stepping out of the washroom. You follow one of the guards out of the building and out into the courtyard. When you arrive, you find Oluo and Petra waiting for you. You see Gunther and Eld in the distance and across the lot. Petra offers you a warm smile, and a  _tsk_ is the most you get from Oluo. You're not sure if you should be flattered or slightly irked that he tries to mimic Levi so often.

 

"We're all stuck on cleaning duty today, but we were also told to run your usual drills later in the afternoon," Petra explains. "The Captain won't be returning until later this evening, so we'll go take over your schedule for you."

 

You nod in understanding, your eyes drifting across the lot and taking in the vast amount of soldiers around. It was rare to see so much activity this early, and even more shock courses through you when familiar faces catch your eye.

 

 _Mikasa. Armin._ You heart slams in your chest, an eager expression overtaking your features. 

 

"Pardon me, but would it be alright if I spoke with my friends?" you ask.

 

Petra's eyes wander to where yours rest and she smiles in understanding. "I'm sure that'll be fine. Just don't take  _too_ long. We're on a tight clock today, or so the Captain says. I know it's been a while since you've seen them."

 

"It really has," you agree. "Thank you. I won't be long, I promise!"

 

Your cloak catches the breeze as you sprint into a mad dash. You make sure you're within Petra's vision as you run toward your friends, your heart hammering in your chest after being away from them for so long. You haven't seen them since the trial, which is most likely the longest you've ever been away from Mikasa or Armin. Beside your two friends, you notice quite a few of the other soon-to-be graduates and fellow cadets walking in a small ground through the Scout's training grounds.

 

"Mikasa! Armin!" you shout, raising your hands excitedly to catch their attention. Mikasa's face nearly whips to the side, and Armin's lips break into a broad smile. 

 

"Eren!" Mikasa exclaims, forgetting her surroundings and running towards you openly. Armin follows behind her, along with Connie, Sasha, Ymir, and Krista. Jean moves a little more slowly behind them, as does Reiner and Bertolt. You catch Mikasa as she nearly stumbles into you, her hands pressing against your body as she assesses injuries.

 

"Are you alright? Have they been mistreating you? ; I It's alright for you to tell me, I'm sure we can bring it up to the brass if it's--"

 

"Whoa, Mikasa," you chuckle breathlessly. "Slow down. I'm fine, see?" To prove your point, you spread your arms and allow her to see your physical state. "No wounds. I'm not being exposed to anything  _cruel._ Captain Levi and his squad have been nothing but kind to me."

 

At the mention of Levi's name, Mikasa's expression darkens. "I'll  _kill_ that midget for what he did to you. Whether he's your soul--"

 

"Ah, Mikasa!" Armin laughs nervously, glancing around to ensure nobody has heard her slip-up. "Eren's fine, see? Everything is alright."

 

Mikasa takes a step back at Armin's words, catching herself without realizing her potential mistake. Everyone's eyes are on you, and you do your best not to feel scrutinized under their gazes. 

 

"How the hell have you been, man?" Connie asks after Mikasa cools off. "We feel like it's been years since we've seen you. You know... since Trost and all."

 

Your memories are still short of useless, but you remember enough. Trost is still very fresh on your mind. Given the events that have taken place since then, and your time with Levi, you've hardly been able to focus on it. You frown somewhat. "Yeah... I know. I'm okay though, guys. Really. They're uh... taking good care of me. Definitely keeping me on my toes with training."

 

"Because of your fucked up ability to turn into a titan?" Jean asks, surprising everyone around you. He appears uneasy, tapping his foot on the ground with his arms crossed against his chest. "I mean... shit, that wasn't meant to come out like that."

 

"It's fine," you say, unsure about the unsteadiness in Jean's tone. "So, all of you decided to join the Scout's? I thought your heart was set on the Military Poli--"

 

"Marco's dead," Jean blurts out.

 

The shift in the air could be felt, and your heart feels incredibly heavy with disbelief. "Marco's... what? What the hell are you talking about?" You nearly laugh.

 

"They found his corpse during the cleanup," Jean replies, his eyes never wavering from the ground. "What was left of him, at any rate."

 

You try to process his words, but you find it difficult. Hell, this entire month seems to have taken its time hitting you. During your blissful moments with Levi, you failed to remember the chaos and discord of what was happening inside the very walls of your home. You stomach clenches and you feel like you're going to vomit. You remember Marco's kind smile, his gentle disposition, and optimism. You remember the faces of each and every person who had died in your squad when Trost first fell. It's enough to make your heartbreak.

 

You don't get very much time to continue speaking with your friends as they're called away, just as Eld calls your name in order to bring you back to your duties. As you disband and go about your morning, you can't help the heaviness you carry with each step you take.

* * *

**Levi**

 

You attempt to reach through to Eren with the bond you share, but it's quiet on his end. It makes you uneasy. You return to headquarters later than you anticipated that night and find the castle silent. Most of the equipment from training has been set aside, kitchen thoroughly cleaned, and supplies put away. You go to your room and expect to find Eren there, but it's also empty of his presence. You decide to take that moment to slip out of your uniform and change into your night clothes. Afterward, you grab the nearest source of light and use it to navigate your way to the cellar.

 

When you arrive below, you find Eren sitting in his bed. His back is to the headboard, and he's gazing as if he is lost in a daze. You tilt your head upon entering, assessing the situation carefully.

 

"Eren," you call out softly. 

 

Blinking his emerald eyes, Eren looks up to you and sighs softly. "Captain," he greets.

 

"I was expecting you upstairs. I've tried reaching through our link several times," you continue as you step closer. You don't want to say the silence on Eren's end worried you, but you're sure Eren can figure that part out. "You need to make sure you respond when I try to speak to you. At least to let me know you're alright."

 

"I apologize, sir," Eren says. "I..." 

 

He swallows heavily, and it causes your brow to furrow. You set aside the torch on a nearby holder and sit on the edge of the bed. Eren looks at you imploringly as you reach out to brush his chestnut hair away from his forehead. "What's wrong? Did something happen while I was gone?"

 

He frowns and his eyes downcast. "No. I mean, nothing happened. Earlier this morning I saw my friends. I guess most of them decided to join the Survey Corps. It was really nice to see them."

 

Not understanding where the problem lied, you asked, "Did seeing them upset you?"

 

"No, of course not. I just..." He let out a shaking breath and then raised his eyes to yours. "How do you deal with it?"

 

"Deal with what?"

 

"Death."

 

You blink, not expecting that answer. You let your hand fall with a heavy sigh. "Someone close to you, I'm assuming?"

 

"Someone from my class," Eren replies. "Someone kind and generous. Someone who didn't deserve to die."

 

"Nobody  _deserves_ to die. At least, not in the way I'm sure your friend did." You take his hand into yours while continuing, "I need you to understand something. You're going to lose a lot of people that are close to you. When I first found out you had enlisted, it shook me. The last thing I wanted to see was someone as alive and vibrant as you enter the military. All you're going to see while we're out there is death, Eren. I need you to be prepared for it. That's why we're fighting, ensuring humanity still has a chance to avoid a death like that. We're riding out in two days, I  _need_ you to mentally get yourself ready."

 

"I know that. I've always known that." His voice is quaking, and although you've always known Eren to be an emotional creature, it's enough to put dents on your soul. "Just because I've seen death and faced it, doesn't mean it makes it any easier."

 

"I never said it gets easier," you tell him. You reach up and catch a tear before it falls. Eren blinks in surprise, taking his hand and rubbing furiously as if he was angry at himself for showing weakness. He should never feel weak for being open with you. "It... It doesn't get easier, Eren. But you eventually learn to carry on. For them. For the cause. For your  _duty_ as a soldier."

 

He nods his head, still doing his best to conceal his tears. You bring his face closer to yours. "I'm sorry," he says brokenly. "I don't know why I'm crying. I've been doing this for hours."

 

"Because you're human."

 

"Am I?" 

 

You kiss him into silence, digging your hands into his hair. He makes a desperate sound, but he moves closer. Eren is far too strong and passionate to be bent by death. He had too much life and fight left in him. If you're capable of doing so, you'll show him how to move forward from each set back in his path. When you pull back from his lips, his eyes open and an array of emotion of swirling in the depths of his eyes. "You are," you assure him. "You're human, and you've been given a task you shouldn't have been given. We don't understand it, and it's not fair. But it gives us a chance to make sure those who have passed on  _didn't_ die in vain. I'll make sure of it."

 

Swallowing once more, Eren breaths, "Thank you."

 

You pull back a bit more, holding his hand to bring him out of bed. "Come upstairs. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone tonight."

 

He lets you guide him, leading up through the cellar and up the stairs. Once you're both in the confines of your room, you help him at the basin and wash away the trails of tears. You sift your hands through his unruly hair and help him dress into clean clothes. You allow yourselves a moment of silent clarity before the storm comes barreling through. You've never felt such an overwhelming need to protect someone as you do with Eren. Whether it was the bond or the feelings that began blooming to life years before you actually  _met_ him, it didn't matter. He was solid, here in front of you, and deeply affected by the destiny that was bestowed upon him. 

 

Life was cruel that way.

 

You lay down in bed with him, holding him closer than you've ever held him before. Tomorrow, you'd have to push Eren to his limits again. You'd have to bark orders and demand results that may have been beyond Eren's capabilities. Right now though, you hold him. You let him shiver and gasp as the floodgates of his soul begin to open. You can understand after having  _so much_ happen to you, that it finally catches up. Was Eren ever given a moment to drink in what was happening in around him?

 

"Thank you," you hear him say through whimpers, clenching your shirt hard enough to tear. You kiss the top of his head, marveling at the softness of his hair. "Thank you," he continues again. Whether you know what a pure soulmate entails or not, you know that this was an instinct that has taken over. You don't let up on your grip with him. You don't let him stray, or a tear fall unnoticed. You catch each one as Eren succumbs to sleep.

 

"Always," you find yourself murmuring to his sleeping form. "Always."


	15. I Wonder As I Wander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay of this chapter, and for how undoubtedly short it is. But, the expedition will be broken into a few chapters as it's going to cover much ground. (We all know so much goes on during the Female Titan arc) and I plan to cover as much of it as I can.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support. This story has been so much fun to write, but I will admit this chapter left me rather stumped. So, thanks for being so patient! As Erwin would say, onward! :)

* * *

  _But you see, it's not me_  
_It's not my family_  
_In your head, in your head, they are fighting_  
_With their tanks, and their bombs_  
_And their bombs, and their guns_  
_In your head, in your head - they are dying_

* * *

**Eren**

 

It's the first time you've seen the sky beyond the walls before, and to say it's overwhelming would be a grand understatement. Your heart pounds, and the skin of your palms are cold and clammy. When Erwin shouts to order to advance, you glance up and watch as the very wall the separates humanity from the Titans disappear, and your head is uplifting and gazing up to the beautiful, blue sky.

 

It's indeed a sight to behold.

 

The birds above continue to fly freely in the sky, and the sounds of their horses are aggressively pounding against the dirt drown out the frantic racing of your heart. You see crumbled structures and broken-down crops that are left as dry dirt and broken plains. Ahead of you, you can see Levi keep his gaze steadily ahead. You feel him through the link of your bond, and he reassures you as your thoughts leak through.

 

**_You need to stop worrying about everyone else and focus on the task at hand. You'll lose yourself if you keep up like this. We've only just begun._ **

 

You swallow noisily, and the grip of your reigns tighten. He can read you like a map, and up ahead you see several of the other squads begin to dissipate and depart in several directions. You retained as much information as possible during the debriefings, but it doesn't help you to feel any ease. 

 

**_Where are they all going, Levi? My friends? I know I'm not obligated to see every part of the operation, but are they going to be safe?_ **

 

You hear Levi  _sigh_ through the link.  ** _Eren,_** he starts,  ** _You can't worry about them, you understand? They've been given their tasks, the same as you. Remember what we discussed a few nights ago? People are going to die today. There is nothing we can do about it. The only thing we_ can  _do is ensure there are minimal casualties. I've been doing this for a long time, and I'm sorry to be blunt, but there isn't anything you can do to change it._**

 

It irks you that Levi can remain so impassively calm as you all ride into the unknown, and you're lucky you can keep a steady hold on your steed. Your eyes shift to see Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther riding with the same amount of concentration. You need to trust them. You need to believe that this is for a good cause and that it'll ensure your freedom within their custody in the end. Several weeks of vigorous training, power drills, and non-stop Titan experimentation led you here today, and you need to remember to stay on course.

 

**_I... understand. I'm sorry._ **

 

He glances back at you then, his eyes speaking the words he wants to say out loud. Signal flares shoot off in the distance, and it's hard to maintain eye contact with him.

 

 ** _Stay strong. I know you can do it, as hard as it'll be. Trust Erwin, because he has a plan. Trust your comrades, and mine as well._** He turns forward again.  ** _And like you asked me several nights ago, trust in me as well._**

* * *

**Levi**

 

It takes several hours for Erwin's formation to fully take place, but once it does, you find your squad left on their own. Eren's location is meant to remain under wraps from even his own classmates, and you're just fine with that. The course of this entire operation makes your skin crawl, especially since you're so close to Eren as it is. You continue to glance back at him occasionally to ensure he's retaining focus, even though you can  _feel_ his restlessness through the link of your bond. You remember your own experience outside of the walls, so you understand where that apprehension comes from. No matter how much spirit Eren holds, it doesn't stop the feelings of uneasiness.

 

Hell, you feel it too.

 

You continue to keep a close eye on the signal flares in the distance, and Petra responds to them appropriately. So far, from your position, the Titan's have been kept away from the six of you. Your job is simple: to keep Eren safe. Even if that wasn't your mission, you'd still ensure it. But your mind stays sharp, and your body is tense with readiness for what's ahead.

 

Which is just as unknown to  _you_ as it is to everyone around you.

 

You feel it though; that unsteady feeling of foreboding. Since the night that Titan's in Hange's care were killed, you felt that surge grow stronger and stronger. Eren's abilities certainly caused ripples throughout the Walls themselves, so the news spread rather quickly. It only makes your need to protect him rise.

 

"Band left," you order tonelessly. You hear the hooves of the horses behind you as you lead them farther away from the open fields and deeper to the covers of the lush, forest trees ahead.

 

"Sir!" Gunther calls out, and you cock your head only slightly over your shoulder.

 

"We're going into a forest?" Eren asks as well, his eyes gazing upward as the trees above obscure his vision.

 

"Stop asking questions and stay sharp," you bark out. Eren stiffens immediately, and the rest of your squad averts their eyes ahead. "Your objective is simple, stay on the course."

 

"But..." Eren continues, unsurely. "Why aren't we fighting alongside our comrades?"

 

You grind your teeth and do your best to maintain control of your features. You wish you understood Erwin's plan, and why removing him from the outside operation, to begin with, was rearing its head. A part of you knows though, and you realize that this is all in favor or not only protecting Eren, but drawing out who the real enemy is.

 

Because you know in the marrow of your bones there is one awaiting you.

 

The trees make it hard to navigate, and the light from the sun above begins to disappear bit by bit. It's unsettling and unnerving. In the back of your mind, you understand why you're all instructed into the forest itself. This is just the proper place to use your gear, and although you're sure the others are aware of this, it doesn't stop the apprehension you feel both in your bond and outside of your squad's circle. 

 

 _What the fuck are we doing out here?_ You wonder as your eyes drift upward. You see several other Scouts hanging back in their positions on the treetops, and the pieces of Erwin's plan begin to fall into place. It makes your heart surge and your stomach clench. Will there ever come a day where there isn't any death or bloodshed? How will you be able to command your squad while simultaneously protecting your mate?

 

"Sir!" Eren calls out behind you again. "What is our objective? What are we doing out here?"

 

"Maintain your speed and  _do not_ ask questions," you bark. He may be your soulmate, but you are  _still_ his captain. "This is our current position and part of the current formation."

 

"But..." Eren continues, and you turn your head briefly. "Why aren't the other squads following us?"

 

"Eren," you start firmly. "Please. Just... Don't look behind you, alright? Keep forward."

 

_I don't know what the hell is out there, kid. For the love of the walls, just listen to me. You're too fucking curious for your own good._

 

But you can't fault him one bit. You know Eren's original directions were to remain out in the plains, and yet here you all are. Of course, he's confused. With everything that has transpired in the past few weeks, you're surprised the boys head hasn't spun clear off of his shoulders yet. The weight that has been placed on him isn't fair, and you wish more than anything you could lift it even for a single moment. Eren's role within the Scouts was one that none would have considered a possibility, but yet, there was a young man with the ability to shift into a titan. Here was a mere boy who was cursed with this way of life within the military. 

 

He was also cursed with the bond you both share because, at any moment, the two of them could perish without a trace. That thought alone makes your throat tighten.

 

With those thoughts, you feel a tendril of trepidation run up your spine. You hear it distantly in the opening of the forest, and it takes everything inside of you to keep your eyes ahead. You feel it in the ground beneath you, even while on horseback. The others must feel it too because their eyes are shifting and watching as several of their own Scout members begin using their gear and soaring through the openings of the lush trees. You can  _feel_ Eren's heart pounding through your veins, and you can  _feel_ the hysteria rising in his throat.

 

 ** _Eren,_** you say calmly through your link.  ** _Please, don't look._**

 

Of course, he doesn't listen. His mouth parts with a painful gasp as one of the many soldiers beneath the large trees is overcome by a titan unlike any they have ever seen. It was large, with skin similar to a decaying corpse, and eyes as blue as the sky itself. It races with a speed faster than any mount or member with their ODM gear and uses its large and grotesque hand to simply swat at the young Scout.  Blood splatters against the emerald confines around them and the titan immediately looks down, as if it's searching for someone.

 

It's eyes land right on Eren, and you swear the world around you begins to shatter piece by piece when a smile curls on those thin, withering lips. It looks as if it's found a prize, and that treasure is your soulmate.


	16. The Rift

* * *

_Silence your fear; we've got to move higher_  
_High like the stars in the sky, guiding us all_  
_Battle the will of those who conspire_  
_Take back the passion to live, vanish the sorrow_

* * *

**Eren**

 

Your eyes are wild and full as you gaze upward, and you nearly fall off of your mount. The titan approaching your group is steadily increasing its speed, and its eyes are directly on you. You can feel Levi's concern waft through your link like waves, and you mirror them right back. Your hands begin to shake, and your heart nearly stops when another soldier grazes through the openings within trees, only to tip back when the abnormal grips the wire of his maneuver gear while simultaneously slamming its entire body weight against him. 

 

_People are going to die today._

 

The words ricochet through your mind over and over again, and even though you know deep in your heart there is no escaping death, it doesn't make it easier to watch your comrades crumble one by one. Turning forward again, you begin to wonder if your soulbond has any effects of Levi's ability to lead you through this maze. You have never doubted Levi's strengths, and find them astonishing if you were to put it lightly. At that moment, you can't help but wonder what is going through his mind. You try to reach out through your link several times but find that Levi's responses are as barren as the life in the eyes of your fallen comrades.

 

Your horse continues to trot desperately, and you're clinging for your life. You haven't felt fear like this since the moment the walls were broken through, and you wonder if Levi can sense that insecurity. Your mind is racing as you hear another scream rip through the forest, along with the sounds of flesh tearing and metal clashing. You close your eyes and feel a warmth spread behind them. Despite your words with Levi, you cannot accept that these deaths have meaning.

 

"Aren't we going to help them?" you call out. "Why are we just letting them  _die_? We have to do  _something_!"

 

"What you need to do is keep your eyes front and center, brat," Oluo says beside you, even if his eyes are wary and unfocused. "If you start shitting your pants now, you'll never be able to keep up with these expeditions."

 

"Oluo's right," Petra explains, her teeth bearing as her horse moves around a fallen tree trunk. Bits and pieces of foliage from above are crashing down along with bodies, and you gasp as one nearly hits you. Your horse neighs loudly, and you do all you can to maintain composure. "You have to trust the captain, and trust us as well. You have to understand that sometimes this is necessary."

 

"Necessary?" you echo in disbelief. "How is death necessary?"

 

Another soulless form hits the ground, and your heart cannot endure any more. Bringing your hand up to your lip, you expose your teeth and begin to sink them into the flesh. Eld and Gunther call out in alarm, and Petra reaches over and snatches your hand away. "Are you insane? You can't transform now!"

 

"There isn't another option!" You shout, turning briefly to see the bizarre titan closing in quickly. "I can fight it and get it away from you all! I know I can do it!"

 

"You're  _still_ not able to fully control your abilities, Eren! You were strictly told not to transform unless it was absolutely required!"

 

"And you think this isn't the right time?" Your ears are ringing from the force the noise rising from each rumbling step behind you. "I can't just--"

 

"Eren," Levi interrupts softly, and even with your hand still to your mouth, you gaze forward. He doesn't turn around or speak through your link. "Remember what I told you the other night. I want you to let those words to really settle with you because nothing you say or do will change them. You're allowed to make the choices you deem are right, and in the end, you'll need to make the choice you'll regret the least. I've never known the answers to everything, and I still don't, even as a leader. But, I want you to ask yourself if this is the right decision and if it's worth the risks you're about to take. Trust is the foundation of this unit, and you gave us yours when you stepped in."

 

Your heart is beating so hard, you can feel it in your veins and ears. Your clench your hand into a fist and growl low under your breath. Why was Levi speaking in riddles at a time like this? Why wasn't he reaching out through the bond and assuring him that way? Wasn't the point of their bond to be able to communicate under dire circumstances.

 

Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther are all gazing at you with apprehension, the same way they all did the day your transformed out in the field. You remember their bitterness, their fear, and their resentment. Trust was not present during the first few weeks of being in Levi's squad, and it broke your heart into pieces. You never asked for this fate, and Levi was right when he said it was truly unfair. But, wasn't it his duty to use this power to protect their people from the Titans? What good was this ability if he wasn't trusted to use it?

 

Your eyes wander the distant scars on the hands of your comrades, and you realize something right then and there.

 

"Eren, please trust us." She implores desperately, and your eyes widen briefly. 

 

Feeling the inward battle continue to rage, you let your head tilt back and look up upon the beast that is hurtling down the winding path. Its eyes are excitable, they are glinting with intent. There wasn't a doubt that this Titan would kill the six of you without a moment's hesitation, and its thirst for blood would doom the entire unit if you hesitate in the slightest.

 

But, Levi is gazing back at you with wild eyes.

 

"Make up your damn mind, Eren! There isn't time!"

 

Curse the weight on your shoulders, and curse your heart for reaching out to him. Gripping the reins more tightly, you close your eyes and cry out, "I'm with you!"

 

_I'll trust you!_

 

There is a hidden meaning behind your words, and you can tell from the different emotions crossing Levi's features that he understands. Eld is calling out from behind you, imploring Levi to take notice of the hastening footsteps of the giant behind you. Levi glances back again while instructing, "Right. Everyone, cover your ears."

 

You blink when you see Levi reach into the breast area of his cloak, revealing a flare gun. You hear him cock it, and you aren't given enough time to raise your hands to your ears before he lifts it into the air and fires. The sound is deafening, and your horse momentarily falters in its wild dash. You hiss and cover your ears as they ring, closing your eyes while hearing your comrades do the same. Most of them are given enough time to react, but you feel the sudden piercing of the signal flare settle itself deep inside of your head. It aches for a few short moments, but it's soon forgotten.

 

You see it then, and everything begins to make sense.

 

The trees may have been a disadvantage when it came to navigating, but not when it came to hiding. The foliage offered an enormous stretch of cover. Above them, Eren could barely make out the canons and grapple hooks that are twined between each barrel. Your heart stutters, and your mouth parts in silent awe. You gaze back once more and find that the racing beast behind you has halted with a stunned expression, and it leaves you breathless to see just how expressive it's facial features are. Dozens of Scouts were lining up and circling the current position, ensuring safe passage for Levi and the rest of you.

 

"Fire!" Commander Smith's voice booms and you see sparks, and gunpowder explodes across your eyes.

 

Levi doesn't attempt to stop his horse, so the rest of you continue to follow. You watch as the grapple hooks cut deep into the flesh of the Titan, sinking and embedding into the exposed skin of its body. Its face conforms into something of pure fear, and it attempts to move against its bounds. It's unsuccessful, and you feel relief flood through you for the first time since you've entered the forest. Levi continues to lead you all through a safe distance before he adjusted his maneuver gear on his sides. 

 

"Continue down the path until you reach the far end. Do  _not_ let Eren out of your sight even for a moment," his slate eyes look to you, and the command you silently to hold his gaze. "Don't wander and don't relax yet. This isn't over. Understand?"

 

You nod in understanding, feeling somewhat dazed and exhausted. The entire ride through that hell has taken its toll on your mind. You readily prepare yourself for what's next, even though you're unsure of what that entails. You attempt to reach out through the link yet again, only to feel no presence of Levi receiving any of your thoughts. Frustrating didn't even begin to cover how this made you feel. Where was he going? Why was he leaving you?

 

He's barking orders, and then he's standing on his mount. "Tend to my horse. Keep him safe," is all he says before his grapple hooks shoot from his gear. He's in the air before you can blink, and you watch as he soars through the coverings of the trees and right toward the captured Titan.

* * *

 

**Levi**

 

 

Your mind feels as though it will split. An unusual force and pressure is lingering right behind your brow. You wince but ignore it. You glide past the several traps set along the trees and path and land right beside Erwin. The older man seems taken aback, but he soon relaxes.

 

"You did well leading her here," Erwin comments, his eyes only looking at you for a brief moment before turning back to the spawn from hell in front of you. The Titan's face contorts with agony and fear, and you can't help but feel a large tendril of satisfaction at that fact alone. "We weren't ensured much time to set everything up, but in the end, it worked out."

 

"Yeah, I'm sure it did," you drawl, your tone as cool as ice. "Your gamble cost us the lives of dozens. We had to watch them all get crushed to death one by one. Your toss in the air not only threw off my teams focus, but it nearly made Eren transform."

 

Erwin hums sympathetically. "This plan wasn't just to draw out the enemy; it was also meant to protect your mate."

 

You scoff and turn your head sharply. "Don't call him that while we're out here!"

 

Erwin realizes his mistakes and nods solemnly. "I apologize. At any rate... I trust you to handle this situation."

 

"Oh, with pleasure," you say as your hands press down on the handles of your swords. You launch yourself across the opening in the forest and move straight toward the captured Titan. You land on its large head, the blond hair softening your descent. "Well..." you begin, peering over to take a look at the unattractive face below. "Fancy meeting you here. Did you enjoy killing off my men one by one you miserable piece of filth?"

 

You hear the beast grinding its teeth, and you inwardly feel a sense of pleasure at its discomfort. "I know you're in there," you continue. "We know you're human controlling this body, and I can't begin to tell you how much satisfaction I'm going to get when I start carving you out piece by piece."

 

More struggling, and it sways you slightly. 

 

"I mean... your limbs will just grow back anyway, right? It'll give me a chance to  _really_ take my time with you -- "  _For killing my men. For going after my mate. What the fuck do you want with him?_ You don't ask this. Instead, you can't help but continue your dark tirade. "I won't kill you...  _yet_ , but I'll be sure to take things nice and slow with you."

 

Your eyes are wide and a stark array of emotion flints across them. Your heart begins to hammer inside of your chest when the Titan below suddenly tenses forcefully, and it's jaw unhinges. You don't have much time to register what's about to happen until it  _actually does._ It's cerulean eyes open with intent, and it's mouth parts with a howling, piercing scream that echoes off the emerald confines around you. You nearly lose your balance and raise your hands to cover your ears. You hear the pulsing blood inside of your veins and your turning to glance at the rest of your people. So far, everyone seems to be safe. The insistent screeching doesn't stop for several minutes, and when it does, everyone is in complete disarray and glancing around unsurely.

 

"Huh," you grunt, gingerly rubbing behind your ear. "That was the most obnoxious bellowing I've ever heard. Almost made me lose my composure."

 

There is an unearthly silence that lingers afterward, but it stops when you begin to hear sounds in the distance. You close your eyes briefly and feel the heaviness of the footsteps approaching shake the bones inside of your body. Mike Zacharias rushes over to Erwin, and you can barely make out the words hastily tumbling from his lips.

 

"Titan's are approaching," he rushes out, lifting his nose into the air while sniffing attentively.

 

"From which direction?" Erwin asks.

 

Without missing a beat, Mike answers, "From  _every_ direction."

 

The shadows appear first, and the sounds begin to intensify. You growl under your breath and begin to stomp your foot vigorously against the shifters head. "You piece of shit," you snarl, your eyes narrowing to slits. "What the  _fuck_ did you do?"

 

 _Goddammit._ You turn around and realize speaking to this creature was an absolute lost cause. You pivot your blades just so, gripping them with deadly precision with the intention to strike. You wait for Erwin to give the order to engage, and you attempt to reach out to Eren before you're thrown into combat. When you receive no, you let out a breathless grit your teeth with frustration.  _Dammit, Eren! Out of all fucking times for you not to answer me --_

 

When your eyes wander, you realize there are at least twenty of them steadily pouring in from each direction of the forest. Erwin calls out the order, and you initiate contact with the first hideous Titan that approaches you with a crooked, decaying smile and skin that smelt of ash and cinders. 

* * *

 

**Eren**

 

It happens in an instant, and when it does, it's hardly unfamiliar.

 

Flashes race across your vision, and you're momentarily stunned. You see bodies littering the ground and empty eyes gazing up toward you. You see a sinister smile and look at the blades inside of his hands whirling with deadly speed. The surge isn't surprising at this point, but when it strikes, its a direct blow to your very core.

 

Petra calls out to you when you unsteadily lose your balance, falling off of your mount and onto to the dirt below. 


	17. Vision of the Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because with a chapter title like that, only good things can happen right?

* * *

_Counting every breath_  
_I am my own fear_  
_Nothing ever was_  
_Nothing ever is_  
_Every halo lost_  
_I am worn within_  
_Nothing left to harm_  
_Nothing left to live_

* * *

 

**Levi**

 

You thrust yourself toward a twelve-meter Titan; it's limbs dangling uselessly while its mouth is agape and ready to swallow you whole. You let out a hiss, twisting your body with grace while expertly piercing your blades across the nape of its neck. Like a knife against butter, it's a smooth enough breach. But, as soon as you finish one, another takes its place. 

 

"Do  _not_ let them near the Female Titan! Protect her at all costs!" Erwin shouts, to which you scowl. Even if you hold a deep understanding as to  _why_ you're keeping this disgusting creature alive, it doesn't make the order easy to follow. You've never witnessed a phenomenon as this; this Titan was able to reach out through it's piercing cry and call in each Titan that lingered in the forest. You know Erwin sent word to have each recruit on standby near the front of the maze of trees, so it bewilders you that they were able to slip away from the bait and come straight toward the noise.

What you struggle more to understand is  _why_ these creatures ignore you and your comrades completely, moving straight to the Female Titan and locking their jaws and limbs around it. The sound of flesh peeling echoes through your mind, and soon you see nothing but blood and carnage and the smell of it makes your stomach turn. Screams and blood are all the surrounds you and your hands feel so heavy and tired as you continue to pierce through the flesh of each titan that crosses your path.

 

"Withdraw!" Erwin shouts suddenly, and you glance up at him with a heavy look of confusion. It isn't until you look back down that you realize all that's left of the Female Titan is an empty carcass, and that you're only advantage has slipped right your fingers. You growl low in your throat and attempt to reach out to Eren again. The silence is deafening, and you want to rip your hair in frustration.

 

_Dammit Eren, why aren't you responding! We've trained with this!_

 

Unless... You tilt your head and gaze upon the streaming titan bodies. Unless... something is interfering.

 

Could such a thing be possible?

 

Your gear helps you glide back to Erwin's side, and you land gracefully. "We fucking lost them."

 

"There is a chance they may have been consumed."

 

"Tch," you scoff. "We wouldn't be that lucky, and you know it."

 

Erwin hums, and it makes your skin crawl. You need to get back to your squad. You need to get back to Eren. "I'm going back to my formation."

 

"Not until you've replenished your gas and blades."

 

You look at Erwin with a mixture of bitterness and exhaustion. "I don't have  _time_ for that. We don't know if the enemy was actually compromised or if they're on the move again. I'm not leaving Eren out there on his own--"

 

Erwin holds his hand up. "That is an  _order,_ Levi. Remember what we've discussed in the past? Do not let Eren cloud your judgment."

 

"I would fucking never, and you know it. Don't throw him in my face; I didn't  _ask for this._ I can't control my instincts. If I wanted to be by his side, I wouldn't be standing up here with you right now."

 

Erwin's face softens, and you relax slightly. The last thing you want to do is argue with someone close to you. "I don't say this to hinder or upset you. Just... Trust me, and please listen to me."

 

You scowl and begin firing off the grapple hooks from your gear. You soar into the air and land below once the Titans are clear from the path of the carriages and wagons. You move beside Hange and Moblit, both of them giving you a sympathetic and understanding look. You don't meet either of their eyes as you hastily begin removing your empty tank from your equipment while swiftly replacing it with newer ones.

* * *

** Eren **

 

Something doesn't feel right.

 

This feeling has settled deep inside of your bones, and it makes it difficult to focus when you finally come to. You blink your eyes open slowly to find Petra and Eld gazing down to you with a mixture of concern and confusion. Petra lets out a gasp of relief when your emerald eyes open. "Oh, thank goodness... Eren, are you okay? Can you sit up?"

 

You see the evergreens above you casting their shadows below, and your eyes focus on them as your consciousness begins to filter back. You groan and let Eld help you to a seated position while Oluo and Gunther are standing guard. You lift a tired hand to your face and sighed shakily. "Yeah... Yeah, I'm alright."

 

"What the hell was that, you damn brat? Aren't you capable of staying on your horse?"

 

"Oluo, cut it out!" Petra hisses, and that silences the other man immediately. He mumbles and steps away to give you room. "Here, drink some of this."

 

Petra offers you a canteen of water, and you accept it gratefully. You guzzle some of the liquid down, and it soothes your burning throat. Your hands are shaking, and your body feels positively worn. The images that cascaded your mind were fresh on your memory... all you recall seeing is carnage and bodies. You feel the link within your soulbond is weak and unstable, and your instincts are desperate to reach Levi. 

 

"Thank you," you say, handing the canteen back to Petra. Eld scratches the back of his head. 

 

"Do you fall off your horse often or do we need to stop and rest some more? We're not far from the clearing now."

 

You wish you can explain  _why_ these things happen. You wish you had permission to be open and honest about your soulbond with Levi. You're not sure how his squad will react to such a phenomenon. A part of you still doesn't have a handle on the situation yourself. You gaze at each of them with unsteady eyes are your body continues to regain control once more. You shake your head. "I promise I'll be alright. It's... I think my body may have just been in shock from before. I feel much better now."

 

Gunther turns to you. "Let us know if we need to stop. Don't hide if you're unwell, Eren. Our job is to keep you safe."

 

Without Levi here, Gunther takes the role of squad leader. Your lips form a thin line as you answer, "Yes, sir. I will, sir."

 

"We'll leave our mounts here for now and travel by our ODM gear. We'll rendezvous with the Captain in the clearing."

 

"Yes, sir!"

 

The weight of the gear makes you feel unsteady, but you endure it. The thought of being near your mate again has your veins thrumming with anticipation and all you want to know if is he's safe or not. Those flashbacks... they were gruesome. You wonder if they're a part of Levi's past or a distant memory of your own. All you remember are trees, towering and menacing, and bloodied faces blurring in the distance. You don't recall much else... but you know you'll need to talk to Levi and Hange about this once you've returned to HQ.

 

You stay between the soldiers, Gunther and Eld in the rear while Petra and Oluo take the front. You watch them move with grace, and they move as if they're made of air. You soar through the foliage and continue your way toward the set destination. Your mind is flooding with questions that demand answers. Were they able to capture the Female Titan? Were they able to unlock what drove the beast to attack their unit? What is their goal? Most of all...

 

...Why were they after  _him?_

 

From your left, Gunther's attention shifts away from you. He's gazing outward into the forest, and his eyebrows etch together. "I see the Captain!" he calls out, and your heart positively pumps with just a bit more blood. Your eyes focus on the figure gliding idly on the opposite of you all... and you aren't able to make out who it is because their hood is cloaking their face. 

 

You bite the inside of your lip... confusion whirling in the depths of your eyes. You're usually able to sense Levi's presence, so it makes you wonder how you're unable to do so now. Then again, with the interruptions of your mental link, it may be connected to that in some sort of way.

 

You try to reach out once more.

 

_**...Captain? Is that you?** _

 

You wait several seconds before a booming response floods your mind.

 

**_Eren! For fuck's sake, I've been trying to reach you for hours! Tell the others to stay precisely where they are! I'm still near the capture sight, and shit went south. You all need to find a place to remain unseen, and that means now, Eren!_ **

 

Your entire chest tightens, and you forget how to breathe.

 

**_But Captain... Gunther says he sees you._ **

 

Not even a second this time.

 

**_I'm not even close to the rendezvous point yet. Tell Gunther to stand down! Our enemy escaped! Eren, do you hear me?_**

 

Levi's words are chopping into bits, and an ungodly noise fills your ears. You hiss and grind your teeth. You turn around and find Gunther approaching the flying form. You try to reach out to Levi again, but you're once more greeted with silence. Your heart is racing, your throat is burning, and your fingers are tingling with fear. It surges and consumes you. "Sir! Please, you need to keep away! That isn't the Captain!"

 

Gunther isn't given more than a moment to glance back at you, and your eyes widen in horror when that enigma disguised in the Scouts gear, and uniform comes racing toward your superior. You feel as though you're watching this entire scene unfold in slow motion, the movements deliberately moving as if you're trapped in a hazy dream. You breath stutters when the life inside of Gunther's eyes dims only seconds after the unknown imposter flashes forward and draws their blades. You hardly see them move as they expertly carve into the older man's skin.

 

A whimper leaves your lips before a small cry rises. Your skin is crawling. Gunther is hanging lifelessly by the threads of his ODM gear, and his face holds nothing but a blankness you haven't seen in many, many years.

 

"Gunther!" Eld cries out, and the rest of Levi's squad begins to fall back just a bit more. That feeling of knowing what's to come is there, thickening the air and surrounding all of you. You grit your teeth and watch through your eyes filled with dread and horror as a bright light erupts through the sky, crackling and striking down onto the earth while causing several trees to snap and collide. The force of its chaos knocks your group back several feet, and you watch in disbelief as the very titan that was rendered still just a few hours ago rises from the void and begins its trek toward you once more.

 

"Engage with your gear! Now!" Oluo calls out, his face contorting with resentment as he takes in the sight of his lifeless companion. Eld's eyes are shimmering but you see no tears fall, just the face of an anguished soldier. Your chest hurts, and images bombard you as you press down on the triggers of your gear. You glide into the middle of the formation as Petra calls out, "Stay between us, Eren!"

 

The titan is moving just as lethally as it did before, knocking everything from its path and locking its large eyes on you. You try and fail to reach Levi, and you mentally curse in frustration. What good was this link if it didn't serve it's purpose of helping in times like these? You  _need_ to find him. You need him here. You just fucking  _need him._

 

Your mind continues to play Gunther's death on a continuous loop within the confines of your mind, and you feel tears brimming your eyes. Just as you reach and furiously rub the salty remains away, Oluo calls out, "Now isn't the time, brat! Eyes up front and keep moving forward!"

 

"I hate to agree with him, but Oluo's right. You  _have_ to keep moving Eren! We'll go after her and take her down so you can escape and find to Captain."

 

"No! I can transform! I can fight her!"

 

"No!" Petra argues back, her voice fierce. "The orders were for you to refrain from transforming! You have to continue to trust us! Please!"

 

You grit your teeth and continue to soar as quickly as you're able, your body thrumming with the need to take your hand and sink your teeth into it. This wouldn't be happening if you originally transformed, and you don't understand what the hell Levi or his companions are thinking by telling you otherwise. You feel at war with yourself, but Petra, Oluo, and Eld are throwing pleading glances your way as you race away from the overzealous titan.

 

"Eren, leave this to us. Please."

 

You aren't given a moment to reply before the three of them aggressively press their triggers, launching their grapple hooks in several different directions and launching themselves forward toward the tenacious beast. You watch them draw their blades and with cries of both fury and loss, begin to carve away at it's flesh.

* * *

 

**Levi**

 

You've never moved as quickly as you do now.

 

Images are cascading through your mind, and you can taste copper inside of your mouth, and the vivid pictures burn holes inside of your memory. All you see are their faces. Lifeless. Haunting. Empty. Void. You try and try to connect with Eren in some way, but your efforts are once again useless. Something is piercing through your soul, and it's familiar. It's the same tendril of energy you felt the very day Eren's mother had died when the wall was breached, and it's swarming you with an instinctual need to find your mate as quickly as possible. 

 

Those feelings begin to rampage when a familiar green and yellow glow overtakes the forest, barreling down from the heavens above along with the sound of an agonizingly familiar roar of anguish. 


	18. Cut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued support with this story. I apologize for the slow, dull pace but it's done on purpose. After this 'arc', time skips start coming into play. The reason I added the Female Titan arc is because it was essential for testing Levi and Eren's bond. This story has a main focus and it's their bond as a whole. Also, I've rounded the chapter count to end around 35. That is just a guess for right now but there is still so much more I plan to add. I have an ending already in mind so even the manga events will not change that. 
> 
> So be prepared as we start skipping ahead and focusing more on Levi and Eren's struggles as soulmates in this unjust world they live in. <3

* * *

_Burden of beasts_  
_He's not at all what he seems_  
_A nightmare turned into dreams_  
_The devil can't even believe it_

* * *

 

**Eren**

 

Your body  _burns._

 

There is an immense pain seeping through each pore and your eyes widen with disbelief. The world around you is shifting into small, uneven patterns. You'll never get used to this form, no matter how many times you transform. You're moving passed instinct and merely running wild. Your heart and mind are in two separate places, and they refuse to meet. All you see are their empty, blank faces. All that replays over and over again is their destruction and how they met their ends. All you remember is how you failed to help them before they fell to the hands of this... this  _demon._

 

This creature with aqua blue eyes, with uneven and disconnect skin, and a mouth that was once curved into a smile. This  _creature_ knows exactly what it is doing. Its movements are precise. Its actions are clear. Its intent is driven with absolute purpose. 

 

You want to crack beneath its surface and  _drag the bitch from inside._ You want to tear this  _thing_ apart piece by bloody piece. You bare your teeth and snarl within the confines of thin tissue connecting your face within your titan form. It continues to bring heat along the features of your face but you hardly feel it now. All you feel is a bitter and an all-consuming rage, radiating its way straight through your mind and heart.

 

You hear distant voices and you're unable to tell if they're right or something within a memory. Hardly anything surprises you now. The world is falling away and being stripped of what you've come to know. Instead, it's being replaced with unanswered questions and a bitter taste in your mouth. Your body is worn from its dance, and you notice that the titan in front of you is also losing her footing.  _Good,_ you snarl inwardly.  _I'll fucking kill you._

 

_I'll fucking destroy each one!_

 

It's been your motivation for years. For the chaos these ungodly creatures have brought upon your world. The horrific death of your mother. The destruction of your home. The pain and misery they've brought to your own soulmate. The mindless death it's brought to your comrades.

 

You'll end this. You  _can_ finish this.

 

You duck and dodge attacks with ease, even if you begin to feel your strength depleting and leaving you. She does the exact opposite, merely letting you attack and it makes your blood positively  _boil._ It feels as though she's toying with you, but her etched features enable you to know she is also succumbing to defeat. There is still a chance. You can do this. You can kill her. 

 

You launch yourself forward, successfully landing a blow against the side of her face. She stumbles only momentarily before she brings her own fiercely swift fist down, connecting and snapping remnants of your jaw. The crystal hardens and blooms against the heated skin of her form. You feel the crack of your bones rattle your entire body, and you grit your teeth and contain a small roar that threatens to escape. Your eyes are carefully watching her, and you feel an immense gratification at surprising her when you snap your mouth and drag it along the edges of her arm. 

 

Sparks impair your vision, but you're moving despite that. You strike with quickness and connect your closed fist against the stomach of the other. A choked cry echos from its throat as it soars across the clearing of trees, landing haphazardly against one of the tree trunks. You're unsteady and you feel the remaining energy leave you. You raise your hands and watch critically as the other titan begins to move around you. Her steps are small and calculating. 

 

There is a fleeting exhibition of sadness and melancholy that is present on the beast before you. Your eyes are still watching... but an uneasiness stirs within. Your face conforms with confusion and uncertainty, and before you're even given a chance to move even in the slightest, the titan lashes out with a speed that wasn't human nor titan. It was godly. It was quick as the wind through the trees. It makes everything around you fizzle into a hazy and dreamlike reality. The sun is beaming through the trees, and you can feel the endings of the nerves connecting you to your titan form begin to snap. 

 

Your vision is tilting. All you can see is a gaping, widening jaw and eyes are blue as the sky. Even in their titan form, you see a strange glow reflect within the depths of their eyes. As the sound of your name sounds through the air, your vision fades for a second time as you're swallowed down.

* * *

**Levi**

 

This feeling is familiar.

 

Your body nearly ceases, but you push on.

 

For his sake. For their sakes. For humanities sake; you push on.

 

This entire mission was a death sentence from the start. Your eyes are heavy and unable to take in the sight of familiar faces blankly gazing into nothingness. Their visions are void and the color in their eyes are forever marred. Your skin crawls. Your body is poised and ready to strike. The faces you're soaring above will permanently be embedded inside of your memories and you feel regret flood through you like a flowing stream breaching a broken dam. You had been wrong. You feel it inside of your very soul.

 

There is no saving them. Your entire life has been a series of accepting death and somehow pushing forward as much as it stings -- as callous as it seems. There just isn't any other way. Perhaps Eren had been right and you were wrong all along. Maybe Eren's depth perception is far more active then you realize. Either way, your soul is quaking with urgency and you move as quickly as you're able.  _Eren,_ you reach out but receive nothing. The sound of your grapple hooks echoes around the stillness of the now quiet forest. The stomping and roaring has dulled to nothingness.  _Eren,_ you try again.

 

_Eren, Eren, Eren --_

 

A higher pitch scream rips you from your thoughts and your head raises slightly. It only takes a few moments for you to recognize the sound of their voice before they appear in front of you. She is racing forward and chasing after the very one that you and your team had worked so hard to capture. It causes your blood to tingle with a quiet rage to see her on the loose again. You grit your teeth and ultimately waste quite a bit of gas within your gear to launch forward and throw yourself in front of the enraged sister of Eren. 

 

"Mikasa," you command sternly. She's raising her gaze and her eyes are wild. If you hadn't known first hand how wrong you were, you would have assumed  _she_ was Eren's soulmate. "Fall back."

 

"Are you insane?" she demands, steadying herself so she's gliding backward. As you take in your surroundings, you realize Eren is not in sight. You know the familiar feelings and what they're reflecting now. Eren is in danger. Eren is within the Female Titan's grasp. "If we don't go after her, Eren will... He'll --"

 

"I did  _not_ say we were going to let her disappear," you state matter-of-factly. It takes everything within you not to completely lose control right then and there. "If you charge after her like this, she's going to get away. You haven't seen what she's capable of and quite frankly, you're playing with fire if you think you alone will stand a chance at saving Eren."

 

"Is he  _alive_?" she continues to bark, her eyes narrowing to slits. "Is he... Why weren't you  _with him?_ "

 

Narrowing your eyes in return, you answer, "I had other obligations."

 

Her mouth falls open, and she redirects her wires to compose herself. "Excuse me? So while Eren was here, alone and getting killed, you were prancing around elsewhere?"

 

"You'd better watch it, Ackerman. I do  _not_ need to explain myself to you."

 

"He's your damn  _soulmate_!"

 

You steady a heavy glare. "I'm more than aware of that. I need you to understand something that I once had to explain to your brother. I am  _still_ in charge of several units. My job is to ensure the safety of not only Eren but of dozens of men and women. You as well. Not everyone is as strong as you and they cannot charge in without support. Do you have any idea how many men died today to ensure Eren's safety? To ensure the capture of the piece of shit behind you?"

 

Mikasa's shoulders sag only slightly.

 

"Yes, he is my soulmate. He will always come first whether I fight against it or not. Do you have  _any_ recollection on how difficult it is to lead a squad that is now  _dead_ while trying to simultaneously make sure your mate  _doesn't die_?"

 

You do not realize you're nearly shouting and you're baffled at your lack of composure.

 

You let out a huff of frustration and look ahead. The Titan is running with the intent of escape, and you're both still close enough to attack. "He's alive," you answer. "I feel it. Our link has been shit since this bloodbath started and I can't reach him, but I feel it here." You point to where your heart beats beneath the skin of your chest.

 

Mikasa appears confused. "Your... link?"

 

"Goddammit," you swear. "Of course you don't know what the hell I'm talking about."

 

"What should I do?"

 

"First, you need to think before you act. I know Eren is important to you but charging in is going to get you killed. It doesn't matter how powerful you are." Your eyes glow faintly as you continue. "You need to fly below and distract her. I'll handle cutting her up enough to slow her down. We're only going to retrieve Eren, and then we're done here. I don't want to see any more pointless death."  _Not more than I've already seen today. As soon as Eren's in my arms, I'm getting him out of here. I'm not allowing him to be bait any longer._

 

Mikasa peers over her shoulder and then back to you. She adjusts her scarf and nods her head firmly. "Alright, sir."

 

She doesn't waste another moment, diving down below and situating herself just near the Female Titan's feet. The eerily quiet forest is only filled with the sounds of your gear and the ominous sounds of heavy footsteps. The beast below seems distracted and a bit frustrated by Mikasa's presence and it gives you an ample chance to observe the beast from above. Your eyes flash with bright azure and reflect a hungry crimson. A bloodlust is bubbling to the surface — a lust to protect what's yours. 

 

Your mind is riddled with images of littered bodies and helpless screams. Mikasa may be right about one thing...

 

You shouldn't have left him.

 

_"How do you deal with it?"_

_"Deal with what?"_

 

_"Death."_

 

The memory hits you like a cold gust of air. The last night you held Eren in your arms resonates deeply inside of you. It makes you think of their faces. Isabel. Farlan. Petra. Eld. Gunther. Oluo. Each one of them serving as a precious milestone in your life just to be snuffed out. 

 

_"Just because I've seen death and faced it, doesn't mean it makes it any easier."_

_"I never said it gets easier."_

 

Your words are true to this day. It never gets more natural and even now, you're struggling.

 

The bloodlust is  _roaring._

 

You gaze down with critical and calculating eyes, observing the way the Titan moves and how she navigates. You take in every muscle, every inch of exposed skin, every possible area of weakness. Her nape. It's right there but you know in the pit of your soul you won't be able to strike her down quickly. She's cunning and wise. You know better than to think recklessly and throw away your chance to get Eren out. She's got him inside of her mouth and the close you are, the more your senses sharpen by his proximity. 

 

_"It... It doesn't get easier, Eren. But you eventually learn to carry on. For them. For the cause. For your duty as a soldier."_

 

 

Those words echo as she turns without a sound, thrusting her fist and ignoring Mikasa completely. Her teeth grit with exertion and the beast is moving with a speed you weren't sure any Titan possessed. Your body acts on pure instinct and you ready your blades. They're glistening with the desire that coils inside of you.  _Eren,_ you try again. Your body twists with grace as you dance through the air. You blades leave elegant marks along the skin of the Female Titan's arm and it travels upward like a vine winding its way around a the unkept sides of HQ.

 

She falters momentarily and you fall back enough to see her eyes wide and wild. You take your swords and push off of her other arm, grabbing them and impaling the sharp steel right into the large pupils. She appears stiff and you know she wants to scream. She keeps her jaw firmly clenched and your continue to carve her entire form until it begins to deteriorate and buckle from exhaustion. You don't relent. You growl low under your breath when you feel a trickling presence flow through your link. Your bond is strong and it pulses to life.  _I feel you, Eren. Hang on just a bit longer._ You discard your dull blades and quickly equip sharper ones.

 

Everything around your is whipping by with the frenzied speed of your attacks, and you don't think you've been this driven since the moment Farlan and Isabel died. All you want is to have Eren in your arms again. To see his bright face unmarked from the burdens life has placed on his shoulders. As you continue with your assault, the larger arms of the beast before you becomes slack and drops to her sides. You feel a tendril of relief, but you know this isn't over yet. Not by a long fucking shot.

 

You rise into the air and replace your blades a third time, intent on striking straight at the jaw. As you do so, you  _see_ a figure flying right toward the nape of the creature and your eyes go wide. "Stop! Don't do it!"

 

Mikasa isn't given a chance to respond and the Female Titan raises a hand to deflect the furious woman. Mikasa's entire posture changes in defense and the nape of the titan's neck begins to crystallize with the need to protect its host. You move quickly and shove the young soldier away from the danger of being struck straight out of the air. Mikasa lets out a sharp gasp of surprise and you use the arm to your advantage to avoid falling. As you balance yourself from plummeting down, you feel an intense pain bloom inside of your leg and a sickening crunch resonates through your body.

 

_Fuck!_

 

You grimace, steam rising from the blood that has splattered on your uniform. You didn't even notice with the rain of striking blows that you caused this much bloodloss. With a loud cry from both the pain blossoming in your ankle and the desperation to reach your mate, you jolt through the air and slash along the ridged skin of its jaw. As soon as you do, it's jawline drops open and reveals the one your very soul has been anxious to see.

 

_Eren Eren Eren --_

 

You thrust forward and wrap one arm around his middle, his entire body encased in a disgusting film of saliva and blood. In that moment you find it hard to care. You can feel the pulse of his heart thrumming against your arm and you can feel the life flowing through the link of your bond. You take a moment to land upon a tree branch and glance down at the brunet to assess any damages. 

 

"Is he alright?" Mikasa asks quickly as she lands opposite of you.

 

You shoot her a withering look. "Aside from being absolutely disgusting, he's fine."

 

She sighs, a relieved look crossing her pale face. 

 

"No thanks to you. What the hell did I tell you about trying to attack her on your own? What the hell were you thinking?"

 

As you chastise her, you shift uncomfortably on your now swollen ankle. You hiss quietly and Mikasa notices quickly.

 

"I... Captain, I'm sorry."

 

You scoff, tossing your bloodied hair from your face. "It doesn't matter now. We have Eren, and that's all that matters. We're done here."

 

In the distance, you can see several signal flares gracing the sky — the signal to retreat. You feel the tension in your body ease only slightly. "I understand that you love him, but if you pull that shit again, he may not be saved next time." Your words are sharp like a knife. The glowing intensifies in your eyes, and it reflects off of the young soldiers gaze. "I'll never let anything happen to him; you have my word. Now come on."

 

Her head hangs with shame as she keeps her distance behind you. You may have come off strong, but evidently, that is the only way to get through to Eren's adoptive sister. The Female Titan remains still, and wetness is escaping its large eyes. You gaze backward in astonishment but decide to lift your eyes forward instead. As the two of you glide through the forest and away from the carnage, you hold Eren up just enough to nuzzle his damp and utterly foul head. 

**Author's Note:**

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